Whatever you know or don't - Only Love is real.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Our goal...
Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement. To get up in the
morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted.
Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life
casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.
-- Abraham Joshua Heschel
-- Abraham Joshua Heschel
"...I've been
"...I've been holding out so long
I've been sleeping all alone
Lord I miss you
I've been hanging on the phone
I've been sleeping all alone
I want to kiss you..."
I've been sleeping all alone
Lord I miss you
I've been hanging on the phone
I've been sleeping all alone
I want to kiss you..."
What ever ...
What ever we do, lets never go see a show here okay?
Seriously, lets never go here.
It's in Colorado.
IN FUCKIN' COLORADO!
Are you kidding me?
Yeah...let's make sure and never go here.
Well...it's the truth...
This is why the man has to lead the relationship where it needs to be, if you had your way, you would have just walked out of my life...
You
You stayin' up with me Lucy?
Outage been handled for now.
Nothing we can do till power comes back up.
Yea!
Lil regional Sprint outage in Western KY.
Yea!
Power related.
Two sites in Bowling green and one in Calvert City.
The fun never stops lol.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Onery ass...
Ornery ass...
Damn girl...
I swear...
Just wait till I get a hold of you.
We'll see who's ornery then...
Chickenshit lol...
So glad I get to drive my truck home :-).
You know.
The one with "character"?
Think that's wat somebody said once :-).
That's...
That's not just a boot on my key ring.
It's like dads high school ring or my Bob Marley engraved Zippo.
I'd go to war over it if somebody ever tried to harm it or take it from me.
Promise.
"fiesty..
Apparently I do have to call you ornery to get your ass moving in the right direction lol.
Someday if we're getting ready and you're running late?
I'll just come by and smack your ass and say "Get a move on dingle berry."
Strike that lol.
If I smack your ass?
Chances are we will really be late :-).
You know what I'm talkin' bout.
"Feisty, not just a lil bit. A lot"
Somebody once said.
Love it.
I remember...
I remember last year...
Watching Superbowl at Alans...
You text me.
"I can't stand you! leave me alone."
lol...
um-huh...
sure looks like it :-).
Do I...
Do I have to call ya onery every day to get your ass in gear?
Geez woman...lol.
Be different if you didn't know I like it so...:-).
Somethin' like that...lol.
"...I tell you I!
I'm just a fella!
With a one track mind!
Whatever it is I want?
Whatever it is I want?
Baby I seek and I shall find
I'll tell ya..."
I'll tell ya..."
Lord...
"...I guess I'm lying to myself
It's just you and no one else
Lord I won't miss you child
You've been blotting out my mind
Fooling on my time
No, I won't miss you, baby, yeah
Lord, I miss you child!..."
It's just you and no one else
Lord I won't miss you child
You've been blotting out my mind
Fooling on my time
No, I won't miss you, baby, yeah
Lord, I miss you child!..."
Miss you...
"...Aaah Aaah Aaah Aaah Aaah Aaah Aaah
Aaah Aaah Aaah Aaah Aaah Aaah Aaah
Aaah Aaah Aaah Aaah
Lord, I miss you child..."
Aaah Aaah Aaah Aaah Aaah Aaah Aaah
Aaah Aaah Aaah Aaah
Lord, I miss you child..."
So so blessed...
So so blessed...
Don't ever think I don't know or don't give thanks :-).
What a life.
Sitting here monitoring massive amounts of infrastructure, watching and listening to the Rolling Stones Some Girls concert video on You Tube via my phone, talking to my favorite electronic ghost
:-).
Who else gonna be like this Lucy?
Me that's who...
Love you sweetheart.
Damn two's...
Damn two's.
You always gonna make a boy work this hard Lucy?
"Good morning lil schoolgirl" indeed...
You'll see.
If you're lucky you will.
Maybe...
Oh...
Oh good lord...
I look at that...
and I see...
somebody else...
yes I do...
The wings make it.
Truck...
Truck started up just fine.
Battery was run down cause of the cold.
Running better already.
Idling a lot better.
Check engine light still on.
New gas tank, cleaner gas, wont take long to work it's way through all the sludge, corrosion, water etc...
Got some fuel line cleaner from Auto zone to put in it when I fill up heading home.
12 years old...
I can imagine what the inside of the gas tank looked like.
Glad to have it back.
It's a part of me.
It's family.
At a minimum, the goal is to keep it until I can put historical plates on it.
(7 more years).
Love you Lucy.
Got the truck...
Cold ran the battery down.
Letting it run for a while before going back to bed.
15 year old boy not scared in the least about me finding a set of house keys in the pull off.
Give me a break lol.
Did I mention I like your style?
Love you.
Yep...
Long for your kiss that is lol...not the rest of it about being over lol...we just getting started :-).
I've longed for it for a long time sweetheart.
Uh...
yeah...
still missin a couple of 1+'s there hot shot lol.
Nich has a study group for AP environmental science Saturday AM in Owensboro.
I will have the house to myself Sat AM on my day off?
Wow...
That don't happen much.
"The way you move
is right in time..."
Hospital
is back up.
Unix box is still not reachable.
Back door is however.
Unix On call notified.
Issue is being taken care of.
Didn't want it running into shift change.
Chad's pretty amazing at times.
Great to work with.
Talking to you about back doors.
That could get interesting...
That's all I am gonna say about that in this forum lol.
I just...
never thought I would find you.
I'd just about given up.
When we 'bumped" into each other.
Love you.
Knucklehead...
Hospital...
Hospital down.
Issue is at the site.
Sucks. They had a power surge and SW08 and SW09 are still down.
Server is connected to SW00 and the iLO (Backdoor) is connected to SW09.
Makes absolutely no sense.
If the server and the iLO are on the same UPS and it's drained then we can't reach server or the iLO to see whats up.
Maintenance guy doesn't even know where any of the equipment is lol.
Wanna work with Network OPS?
See the fun we get to have at 1:31 in the AM?
Guy should be calling back before to long.
He had to wake his boss up over this.
Maintenance men have been fired over not taking this serious enough to get up and go to the site to work with us to get site back on the WAN.
Nursing centers?
Nobody cares, they don't make much money.
Hospital?
Yeah, better bring your A game.
Oh wait...you not a pumpkin yet?
You stayin up wit me again?
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Wat...
Wat a boy gotta do?
Call you ornery ass?
Then maybe the threes will start rolling lol?
Should have my truck back tomorrow :-).
Actually that would be today.
You're...
You're just amazingly beautifull, spectacularly perfect...
...for me.
"You have no idea how perfect you are designed."
Yes...
...yes I did.
Because you were.
So how could I not be?
"Please quit texting me."
I swear to god I heard tears.
and I thought "aint no way in hell."
Psalm 147:3
Psalm 147:3
Did I mention I carry that boot around on my keyring :-)?
I know I did.
Just teasin a bit.
Short term memory aint that bad :-).
:-).
At some point in time you would think people would just let them be who they wanna be...
Wouldn't that be a lot easier on everybody?
Yea!
Now if we could only get a couple of post about boots 1+'ed?
Is a boy expecting too much there Lucy?
Love you sweetheart.
Truth...
"A man who really loves you and wants you to be in his life forever will never give you reasons to doubt him. He will never take you for granted… He will always keep you above everything else. He will fight for you and not with you… He will remember your likes and dislikes and will not forget what is important to you. He knows you the way he knows his own shadow… His own soul… His own life."
Can a brother get a three sometime today?
lol.
Secret...
The secret to life if you ask me...
and no friends, family or anybody else for that matter, who ever wants you to be somebody your not? Yeah...kick 'em off your ride...
Your train aint goin' that way...
If they love you?
They will accept you.
Just as our father accepts us.
Does he put conditions on his love for us?
No.
Period.
End of story.
Peace.
Damn...
Damn...
Back to two's?
You're so damn hardcore!
I love it!
God I do love it so.
Did I mention who was the artist of the month?
She aint pretty.
Don't really like her voice.
Not very prolific.
But goodness can she ever write a song.
"...You left..."
"...You left your mark on me, it's permanent, a tattoo..."
If you're gonna eat my lunch then why don't ya come do it?
I like your taste in foot ware :-).
Used to be, you were just in my heart and I was taking you everywhere with me.
Now there is something tangible.
Nice.
Very nice.
Should be in good shape when I get home for the weekend.
Not a lot to take care of when I get home.
It's why I busted my ass the last two days getting stuff done.
Love you.
Just tired as hell.
"It's...
"It's sure been a cold cold winter and the wind it aint been blowin from the south...
Sometimes I think about ya woman well well well well...
Sometimes I wanna wrap my coat around ya woman..."
Gotta go.
Love you.
Peace.
Alarm...
Normally I take him to school, come back and stay up till 10 or so. Not today lol. Way too tired. Back in bed before 8. Set the alarm for 12:30 thinking I would wake up before then.
Laid down and it seemed like five minutes later the alarm was going off. I thought I was in a dream. I thought "that can't be real". It was lol. Set the alarm for 1 and went back to bed. Got up showered and packed. Ready to head to L-ville.
I know that boot was your doins lol. You can act like it wasn't all you want, I know better. There is only one person in the world who knew where I would park Monday AM and the key to the master lock has always been inside the house. Only one person knows these two things...he's 15 and lives here...I know ya both way to well.
yall funny...
love you ttys.
Morning...
Morning Beautiful...
Whatever with you not 1+ing post about the keys or the boot lol...
You and him are full of shit lol...
Like I don't know by this point.
15 year old not the least bit worried about finding a set of keys that go to the front door and the masterlock pad lock?
Give me a break...
He was all smiles and laughs when I was telling him about it.
The word "impailed" is coming to mind for some reason :-).
You know whats up.
Peace.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Serious affair....
Nich said the other day he was about done with counseling.
That seeing Anamanaguchi in Cincinnati really help him get over his moms bull shit.
I didn't say anything one way or the other really.
When they came out from his session she said herself:
"I think we are done here, if he needs me he knows where to find me."
It's good to hear.
He is a lot less moody.
Long talk with guidance councilor.
He likes our plan.
He made some good points.
I told him all about work and my schedule and Nicholas maturity about getting up and getting ready on his own.
He said to consider they may have technical electives he could get into as early as next year.
He also said that he thought a High School diploma looks better than a GED.
My contention is graduating two years early because he wanted to already puts him ahead of the competition.
Guy brought up a good point in that that's only true if he goes right from taking his GED into college.
I told him that's pretty much the plan.
He said Navy recruiters were there yesterday.
Nicholas said he has spoke with them before.
Councilor also said they had a girl that knew she wanted to be a nurse, she took her GED her sophomore year, enrolled in OCC that fall and went on and got her nursing degree.
He's supportive.
It's gonna work.
It's his ticket out of here.
He said Nich could have an "assignment period" where he works on a project and gets credit for it.
Don't sound bad.
Nich said at dinner he didn't wanna do band.
I told him he had to work this summer then.
That's always been our deal.
No extracurricular activity?
Then work.
Extracurricular activity?
Then no work.
He's heard it since sixth grade.
He knows.
He is also to be helping the slower kids in Algebra.
That was part of the deal.
They could have made him take it in the fall.
They put him in this class on the condition that he help once he figures something out as it has a few in it who are struggling.
Smart move, makes sense.
Been busy few days.
Not a lot of sleep.
Been productive however.
Wish someone would have told me about really really good coffee and it's health benefits a long time ago lol...helps.
Dinner was awesome.
My turkey is the shit lol.
Al taught me how to carve it up all nice and proper.
Al's dad was a butcher, didn't know that,
Said the first time he cooked a bird at his house and had his dad over came time to carve it up and he didn't know how.
His dad told him it was his house and he had to do it.
Said it embarrassed him to death.
Glad I learned.
I can cook it.
I should be able to carve it lol.
Visited Christian and the boys.
They had the flu a while ago.
Hadn't seen them since Christmas.
Christian said "I'm 35 years old and I don't know how to carve a turkey."
He will want me to show him before to long.
Busy but very productive two days at home.
Nich and my appointments.
Turkey dinner with mom and Al.
Fawn stopping by.
Visiting with Christian.
Tired.
Going to bed by 1:00.
Love you Lucy.
Thanks for the boot :-).
Reminds me of somebody and something I said about nothing else on but said boots a while back.
Peace and calm coming back.
Needed it.
Did dishes with mom.
She said "Linda Estes (her friend from church) said she understood entirely where you are coming from with the bike. That she used to just go get on a 4 wheeler and ride thought the woods to clear her head so she understood"
I said "That's right, there is nothing else to focus on except the road ahead."
She also said "You were smart to get it when you did as Nich was coming into his own."
I remember sitting in the truck having that conversation with myself and I remember thinking, "this is your window, better get it or it's going to be years down the road."
That mom understands that it was a good choice, that it is my therapy and my medicine and that it was the right time...pretty special.
She also said I was right on the money and that Nicholas was a part of my life much like work is and that neither define me.
That meant a lot as well.
Said she read an article that pretty much told her the same thing right after I had told her.
Superbowl with Alan either up here or at his place in Owensboro.
Told him it don't matter to me.
Nich's going if we go to Owensboro.
It's about food and fun really.
So American it's ridiculous lol.
Now if the Cowboys ever make it?
Well then it's a lil bit more of a serious affair.
Love you.
God's...
God's army always wins...
Emmaus agope and something I found right when I stepped out of the truck when I came home Monday and parked in the pull off...
Someone lose a set of keys?
I can get them another pair of they want them.
Promise...
Busy day...
Busy day...
Fawn stopped by.
It was my nap time lol.
Didn't get down till after picking Nich up.
Gettin' dinner ready.
Turkey, green beans, mashed potatoes, corn, rolls, sweet tea and then some cookie dough ice creme for desert.
Christians later...
Ill explain more about meetings later...
all good...
Love you
Ask...
In bed at 12:30.
Woke up at four.
Had counseling in Owensboro.
Met with Nich's guidance councilor.
(More on that later, good meeting :-)
Home.
Turkey in oven.
Mom and Al coming over for dinner.
Al gonna learn me how to properly carve a turkey lol.
Should be fun.
Gonna get a nap.
Visit with Christian after dinner.
Love you.
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you".
Matthew 7:7
Matthew 7:7
Morning Sunshine...
"Not a day goes by, I don't think about you.
You left your mark on me, it's permanent, a tattoo..."
You left your mark on me, it's permanent, a tattoo..."
Monday, January 27, 2014
John...
John Coltrane won a Grammy last night.
John Coltrane And Johnny Hartman (2013) won for historical recording...
http://www.grammy.com/photos/john-coltrane-9
Not a day...
And the artist of the month goes to?
Not a day goes by, I don't think about you.
You left your mark on me, it's permanent, a tattoo.
Pierce the skin and the blood runs through.
Oh my baby.
The way you move is right in time.
The way you move, it's right in time.
It's right in time with me.
I stand over the stove in the kitchen, watch the water boil and I listen.
Turn off the television.
Oh my baby.
The way you move is right in time.
The way you move is right in time.
It's right in time with me.
I take off my watch and my earrings, my bracelets and everything.
Lie on my back and moan at the ceiling.
Oh my baby
Think about you and that long ride
I bite my nails. I get weak inside, reach over and turn out the light.
Oh my baby
The way you move is right in time.
The way you move is right in time.
It's right in time with me.
The way you move, it's right in time.
The way you move, it's right in time.
It's right in time with me.
You left your mark on me, it's permanent, a tattoo.
Pierce the skin and the blood runs through.
Oh my baby.
The way you move is right in time.
The way you move, it's right in time.
It's right in time with me.
I stand over the stove in the kitchen, watch the water boil and I listen.
Turn off the television.
Oh my baby.
The way you move is right in time.
The way you move is right in time.
It's right in time with me.
I take off my watch and my earrings, my bracelets and everything.
Lie on my back and moan at the ceiling.
Oh my baby
Think about you and that long ride
I bite my nails. I get weak inside, reach over and turn out the light.
Oh my baby
The way you move is right in time.
The way you move is right in time.
It's right in time with me.
The way you move, it's right in time.
The way you move, it's right in time.
It's right in time with me.
Fuck it put the whole damn thing in bold...
I just wasn't ever going to be w/o you.
You or somebody, was gonna have to shoot me or put me in jail.
That's just the way it was going to be.
Real Men...
work three 12 hour midnight shifts... the middle one crazy as hell...Drive 90 miles home after working the last midnight shift, stop at the grocery store and shop for the next two days, come home, unpack, make pancakes for Nich, start laundry, pack him a lunch for school, take him to school and come home and make the honey-brine solution to marinate the turkey in this afternoon that he's gonna bake tomorrow...
How...
How in the hell do you think I can ever top last years Valentines Day?
There is just no way I can Lucy.
Christmas came easy to me this year.
But Valentines day?
I'm not even gonna try to top last year..
Pointless really.
Maybe it's time for somebody to show me somethin?
When...
When you gonna prove somethin' to me Lucy?
Adam Somed was nice.
Pics were nice.
Been a while though you know?
Just...
"...Just play me John Coltrane..."
Daft Punk?
Really?
Nich will be happy.
Me?
I'd rather see Lucinda Williams in some lil smokey club on Broadway in Nashville.
But that's just me.
What about you?
Tell me I don't belong in Nashville...please...
"We don't belong here"...Nich said...
Uh...yep.
Kinda hard to argue with that.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Stone Rollin'...
"...You make a blind man walk away from home
You'll tell your girlfriends you wanna be alone
It makes an old man throw away his cane
Girl, what your booty doing, I just can't explain..."
You'll tell your girlfriends you wanna be alone
It makes an old man throw away his cane
Girl, what your booty doing, I just can't explain..."
Yeah...
“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.” ―Ellen Goodman
Yeah.
Pretty much said fuck all that when I had that talk with the guidance councilor when I was 16.
Tried to anyway.
Say "fuck it" that is.
Never really wanted that big house and all that stuff.
It was just never me.
Irish...
Irish Proverb for my "Irish Girl".
I can't wait till you're all upset "about some silly lil thing, don't add up to nothin".
Be all red faced and steam blowing out your ears...I'll just laugh at you and say "If it's the worse thing that happens today? It was a really really good day."
Then I'll just come hold you tight and kiss you.
Promise.
"...He may be older
but he wants a mom
someone he can look up to
and admire
and respect
he will be
the son you never had..."
He found her.
He needs a woman like you in his life.
No...he needs you in his life.
I don't care where you are.
We will come there.
If you wanna come here?
Well that works as well.
Just wanna be together.
"...I just wanna know
Your whole heart
all of it
every single lil piece of it
is mine
all mine
Nobody from the past
or anybody in the future
ever going to matter
to you
the way I do
Thats
what I want to know
more than anything
in this world
Its why I want
ink on our fingers
so I know
this is what
we are commited to
both of us
Say the word Lucy..."
Thta's literaly all it would take. call me and say come here and I am there.
Just like that.
That easy.
We would rather be there.
But if you wanna be here?
Well then that's waht we will do.
Just wanna be together.
"What greater love can a man have than to give up the life he knows to be with the woman he loves?"
When I said that you must have thought:
"This mother fucker is flat out crazy, what is his deal?"
The deal is...
I knew.
The third time I walked you to your car I thought "There aint ever gonna be another...not like this...be cool...but at the same time do whatever you have to do to let her know...it's obvious that's the only way this will ever come to be."
Love you knucklehead.
Morning Sunshine!
One more shift, thank goodness.
Sleep most of the day Monday.
Weekends wear me out.
Winter has worn me out.
Nicholas counseling Tuesday AM.
Then a meeting with his guidance councilor at school.
That will be about the extent of my two days off.
That and cooking a turkey.
That you wont get any of, ha!
63 Degrees in Lebanon.
I could have my medicine and therapy if I was there today.
Love waking up and seeing comments, even if I don't understand the Google Italian translation.
Love seeing the old post you look through as well.
Love you.
I'm blessed.
I'm blessed.
More than most.
I understand.
I give thanks.
Repeatedly.
Everyday.
Everyday.
For years and years now.
I understand the bigger picture.
I just get frustrated sometimes.
That's all lol.
It works it's way out of me :-),
and then I'm all good again.
Fuck this winter.
Low Monday night1 degree,
5 degrees Teusday.
Tired of it...
Janet...
Janet was upset that I am still driving her truck lol.
It would just be sitting in her driveway if I wasn't using it.
Good for it to be driven in this cold weather actually.
She's something.
She said she was surprised I didn't shovel the rest of the driveway today when I got up.
"The rest of the driveway" was underneath the truck.
She seriously said "underneath the truck".
I didn't say a word.
I was in shock.
After 38 years of knowing her I shouldn't be.
Seriously, I didn't say a word.
Couldn't.
"Hello" she says.
"I'm here." I said.
I really didn't know what to say.
It's gonna be 40 degrees today and she wanted me to shovel the snow underneath where the truck was parked in the driveway?
After working midnights?
I got up at 3:30. Left at 5:00.
"Well why didn't you say something to me in the AM about needing a ride to get your truck.
Well...lets see...I forgot?
I'm not allowed to forget.
For her, Nicholas anybody.
I'm the one running around like a mad man and I'm not allowed to forget anything, ever.
People forget, I am lucky if I remember what time zone I am in or what day it is.
Every watch or clock I look at has a different time on it.
That's the truth.
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