Love you...tired..clling it a night...Peace...five's...goofy goober...five's...

It never stops...It just keep dropping in my lap...I Keep telling you this is not just me...

Your body is away from me
But there is a window open
from my heart to yours.
From this window, like the moon
I keep sending news secretly

Rumi

Anyone who genuinely and constantly with both hands looks for something, will find it.

Rumi

Carry your baggage towards silence,
when you seek the signs of the way.

A two?...

 Come on now...damn...harsh...I will not rest easy till I see that 5...

Wat...

Wat a boy gotta do to get a four or a five around here? Damn...

It's not...

It's not that I send you poetry, it's the kind that it is, and that it's almost always perfect timing with it, and the words and the imagery, and to think this was written mostly not of romantic love , but the love between oneself and ones creator, by someone of a different faith?...Wow...

Well...I did tell you I planned on blowing your mind, every single day...I don't know why you think I wouldn't...

Rumi

On this path let the heart be your guide for the body is hesitant and full of fear.

Rumi

Every step of the way I will walk with you
And never leave you stranded.

Rumi

Be thirsty heart,
seek forever without rest.
Let this soundless longing
hidden deep inside you
be the source
of every word you say.

Pretty darn close...

I still ...

I still want my five, don't think for a minute I don't...I'm watching that post like a hawk...

Was down...

Was down for two and a half hours...only thing missing was your slobber on my shirt from having your head on my chest...

Wow...

Sermon title..."When things get tangled up"

Hebrews 12:1

New International Version (NIV)

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

I have been and I will continue to...I don't know what else to do except keep giving you love and trust.

5 Lucy, 5...you're not foolin anybody...

All just a big accident all just a big coincidence all along, ever since the parking garage...yeah ok, I buy that...not!

Also from sermon:
"There comes a time when you have to push through the pain to get to your goal" Like I didn't know about that already? There have been three or four times when I really really hurt in these matters...Is this not what faith and persistence are all about?

Sunday afternoon nap time. You should be here. Your heart already is...One day soon you shall be as well...

Always...

Always keep the boy guessin' right? You're so full of shit...lol...Don't ever think I don't know what's up.

Gotta get to church...

Love you...

If it aint a five by now

If it aint a five by now, there aint nothing else I can do or say to make it so...lol

Somebody...

Somebody needs to straighten up and fly right. lol

FIVE!...lol...

Rumi...

"My soul wants to fly away when your presence calls it so sweetly. My soul wants to take flight, when you whisper "Arise.

Not four...

Not four views, five knucklehead...lol

View this post...

View this post five times if you're madly in love with me and want to be my wife...

Rumi

"The soul has been given its own ears to hear things mind does not understand."...yep.

I want you...

I want you so bad...every which way a person could ever have a person that's how I want you...emotionally, spiritually, sexually, philosophically...you just don't understand...

Just call...

Just call...I'll say "Wats up kitty cat?"

127...

127 pageviews a new record Woo Hoo!...

Had fun...

Had fun, got rained on...

Yep...

http://markmanson.net/6-toxic-habits

Don't ever forget...

Don't ever forget you were the one that came and put your arm around me and put your head on my shoulder...I think I knew right then I wanted this forever...

Oh and by the way? The guy who was giving me grief at work? Same guy I had the talk with about putting the seat on the bike and what the "next one", if there was to be one, would be like..."good luck finding all that"...I'll just never forget the way he said it...Anyway talked to most of guys of character and integrity at work and they all agree he's miserable, the highlight of his day is coming in to work...Every last one, without me even prompting..."He's jealous, he's envious...and pointed to the fact that he starting having issues with me around the time I got the bike"...sad really...I never thought I'd have one...why can't people just be happy for you? Pray for our enemies they say...

Anyway it's strange, but it seems as though things have come full circle...

You gonna...

You gonna beat 140 page views here today? That is your record you know...Nich's out like a light...Gotta go work the fair at 4:30...love you...

Here's whats going to happen...

Here's whats going to happen before much longer...I'm gonna send an e-mail to hisbelovedone777@yahoo.com...not much to say, just dropping a line...I'm going to text you...If "Tina" comes back all stern about not e-mailing her, or "John" comes back with his threats...then I'm walking away from this love affair once and for all...as I will have had enough by that point...so enjoy the post you get here for the next lil bit as they very well could be the last you'll ever get from me...Real men don't make threats, they make promises, and they keep them...peace.

Why don't you just learn to live free?

"...If music got to free your mind
Just let it go cause you never know, you never know
If your rhythm ever falls out of time
You can bring it to me and I will make it alright
And if your soul is let go
Oh you never know, no you never know
And if your heart is beating free
For the very first time it'll be alright..."

It will be alright...it will be...but you gotta go for it...

Yep...

Young lady at church just poted this on her FB page:

"Sometimes you have to stop thinking so much, and just go where your heart takes you."

You don't fool me...

You don't fool me. You never have. If you honestly feel the way you said you do, no way you let me get away..."John"...lol...I'm bout to text you here in a bit, and if you wanna go file a complaint, well then you just go right ahead...9000 text later she feels scared for her safety from somebody that don't know where she is?...It's a crock of bull...just like all the times before...You're funny...

Why?

Why are you content to look at a blog when you could be sharing a life with that person? I don't get that...talk, gotta start sometime...

Love you

gotta start talking...

gotta start talkingsweetheart...I love you, he's passed out...I'm going to bed as well, busy day tomorrow...in and out all day...peace...

Been telling you...

Been telling you practically since the third time I was around you that I want you as my wife...why would you not believe me?

Talking to a ghost...

Talking to a ghost...Do you love me Lucy? Do you really? Can you handle me and my son? Can you make our home a refuge from chaos and drama and bull shit? Can you comfort us when we need it? Men don't have a big comforting gene and his momma is obviously not the answer. Granny and grandpa are way out of touch with this generation...Can you kick us in the ass if we deserve it? Do you fall deeper in love with me everyday? Do you really? Did you really mean it? Everyday without you in my life seems like a waste of time that we could be using to build a life together...for all three of us for a while...then just the two of us...Is it really what you want? Do you want it more than anything else you ever wanted like I do? Do you? Just tell me...

Turns out...

Turns out one group did it to another and not just him, so that's a relief...

I'm tired...

I'm tired...I can't think when he is upset...I hate it that there is nothing I can do...it's the worst feeling in the world...particularly right now with what all he is going through... I love you...wish we were talking...

Got an upset boy...

Got an upset boy...several people he thought were his friends stood him up about going to a bonfire tonight...First time I cried in a long time...he's different and he stands his ground like his dad does...pays a high price...it hurts me to see him hurt...

You're gonna be

You're gonna be absolutely soaking wet..all over the seat of the bike...sideways, forwards, backwards, upside down...you wanna play Lucy? You really woman enough? "I.m ready for it I can handle it" Do you really think so?

You could send a pic...I didn't text any of yours to any of the people in Albany...Trust Lucy, it's here.

You could have...

You could have been with us making more lemon shake-ups and hot dogs and hamburgers at the band Booster Booth at the fair...Scrambler, no tilt-a-whirl or spider...sux...got to ride the swings though... I'm beat...three hours sleep...More Band Booth and fair activity tomorrow...yeah us...

"I'm serious...

I'm serious, I'm gonna sop you up like gravy with a biscuit...

The fact of the matter is...

The fact of the matter is I am going to absolutely devour you...every last drop of you...and you know it...and you can't wait...but your scared shitless...your problem...lol...

Home sweet home...

Home sweet home...and yes I rode it like I stole it...seriously, like a bat out of hell every chance I got... forth time in a row coming home this particular way. Very familiar with it from years of  going to and coming from Louisville by this route...(Hi-Way 60). Honestly, got on it like I hadn't in a while..I seriously wish everybody had something in their lives that would give them as big a thrill as what this does for me...to have the adrenaline pumping through your body for hours afterwards...unreal...sleep? forget about it...to make love afterwards?...I couldn't even begin to fathom...but that's where I wanna go...with you...nobody else ever gonna do...Like Sly and the family stone says..."...gonna take you Higher! Higher!, Higher!...

We are winding things down...

We are winding things down...our shift is finishing things up...gotta get off of here...I love you..."This is my dream, this is what I will work hard everyday of my life for...Everyday, all day, till the end of days sweetheart"...always...you should know this by now...peace...

Evansville...

Evansville is a haul...but people do that commute everyday...and the downtime you will have at home will be more than worth it...you've seen it, peace, quiet, calm...and I'll still be commuting to Louisville so we're not going to be tripping over each other each and every day which will make the time we do get together even better...I get excited now about coming home :-)...Wait till I know I 'm coming home to see you...oh lord have mercy sweetie...

I'm not kidding...

I fully expect us to be married by Christmas.

I want you with us at Christmas...

I want you with us at Christmas...I'm serious...I fully expect us to be together by Christmas...

I dream of you, dancing barefoot in our yard, in a sundress, flowers in your hair, and nothing, yes, nothing else on to this song, just for me, cause you know I love it when you do...

I day dream about it alot actually :-)..."she's a summer love in the spring fall and winter, we can have high times if she'll abide"

Why the sudden spike in pageviews I wonder?

I just can't figure out what might be going on Lucy. Can you?

I just...

I just bounced the interface on a port of a SW to keep a hospital on the WAN!! Yeah me...first time for everything...lol

Damn ok, have it your way....

Can we just leave it there for once?

One more...

Two more to go...

66 pages view...

We gonna make it to 69?

That was a test...

See if I can message you on Google+ then why can't I text you? Makes no sense...A real control freak would be monitoring all your sites for contact, not just your text...you've been had Lucy...Your story just don't add up...Plus like I said, it fits a patern of behavior when it comes down to crunch time with you...your kidding yourself, you've been crazy about me since day one and you know it...you've tried to hide it really really well, but you can't hide this...this is eternal. This is the best deal, with the best guy in a place that's gonna seem like your home real quick, that your ever gonna get...Plus I know your moma knows...I can hear her already..."sweetheart if he loves you that much, to go out on a limb as much as he has..." Something like that...Travis would have thrown a fit when I saw him in Cookeville...not eight months later...you been had darling...

I haven't and I won't...

I know I 've shared before, but its true...How on earth could I keep on if it wasn't true? Everybody thinks I'm nuts, but I know you feel the same...I can feel it in my bones...Adam Somed said as much...but can we just start talking?

I love you

Don't think for a second I don't know whats going on...you're too much...I love it...Really want that Tilt-a Whirl ride soon Lucy...gotta get for now...be back later...peace. Did I mention I LOVE YOU!

Gotta let a man be a man...

sorry, you just do sometimes...lol...

Are you working midnights?

Are you working midnights? Cause all the page views seem to be at night with a lul during the day...

I just wanna know...

I just wanna know your heart is all mine and that I don't ever have to worry about being lied to, cheated on , or taken advantage of ever agian...I think I bring a lot to the table, that we (me and my son) have a lot to offer someone, and nothing but the best character and pureist heart is ever going to suffice..anything less is just not worth the chance to me. So are you mine Lucy? Is that heart all mine? Is this really what you want to happen? tell a boy something would you?

"Worthy"

"Worthy"...have I not proven to you that I am the boy that's "Worthy" Lucy?

Free Spirits

Know what sgreat about free spirits? Because we enjoy our "freedomness" we want to be around others that want to enjoy theirs as well...I don't men "free love" and all that garbage. I mean because we like being free we don't want to control or dominate others...We want that energy from that freedom to rub off on us and everyone around us...It's like a fire of love, it just spreads, there is no containing it once it's started...there's just not...You know what I'm talking about deep in your soul, cause your one of these spirits thats longing to set yourself free...It's obvious...That real woman you always wanted to be your whole life, just waiting to materialize...no family or friends or lovers to put you down or control you, just a God fearing christian man that wants to see you be the you that you've always wanted to be but that everyone else repressed or controled...No more...your wings are spread...fly...no on is stopping you but you at this point...It's truth and we both know it.

Job...relocate...

With your skills and experience you can get a job anywhere you want...I have email alerts set up for Evansville...not many networking posistions over there but tons of LAN Admins and Server Admin jobs...Ely Lilly, Vectren, good companies...One more move for the rest of your life, a man that is fun as hell to be with and loves life and is absolutely obviously crazy about you and honestly believes he was put here to be a good husband for you...Ink in late fall, name on deed within a week of coming, small ceremony in spring, Destin in fall...all very easily doable...somebodys just gotta take the plunge thats all...

"The choice..."

"The choice of being with another life is an amazing thing"...you've already made that choice sweetheart...I keep telling you, your not fooling anybody...

I would make for us...

Anytime I could I would...Its a lot of work, five or six hours of cooking and all...but while it's cooking we would be in the hammock, swinging, chilling out, just relaxing spending time together...Thats whats great about cooking bbq, slow cooking and everybody just chillin together...to hell with that fast paced world of nonsense...your family, your mom, your brothers, sisters, aunts nephews, neices all welcome...anytime they wanna come, we will show them a good time...You me and Nicholas that is...Makes your mouth water don't it? This is the batch you actualy had some of...Aint nobody else gonna do this for you lol not like I would anyway...same can be said for lots of things I suppose :-p.

My absolute favorite...

Seriously when can we go?...You're the only girl in the whole world I ever wanna date...I wanna date you the rest of my life...why you gotta make me suffer? We could be having so much fun...I would get this thing spinning so much...we would be so dizzy when we got off we wouldn't be able to walk...just stumble around laughing at each other lol. See I watch which one spins the best and then we wait to get that one, then when we're in it we lean one way or the other to get it spinning like crazy, then we just sit back and laugh and laugh...god why arent you with me yet girl? You're driving me crazy...

I've been trying to tell you...

"Two positive people with gods blessing? Well that would be unstopable in my book"

 

 

Fair...

and for the love of god when do we get to ride in the spider or the tilt-a-whirl and eat funnell cakes and just laugh and be goofballs? I'm gonna be at the fair this weekend, guess who I'm gonna be wishing was there? I just love little fall festivals, fairs, etc...If its got funnell cakes, lemon shake ups and a spider, a scrambler, or tilt a whirl, I'm ready to go...How much longer you gonna keep me missing you till we can do these things together? Haven't I shown you how much I want you in my life and how much I do and would always cherish you?..alas...all I can do is keep giving you love and trust and know that you'll come along someday...

Evil One...

He hit me hard at work...out of left field...someone I would have never expected to act in such a manner...unbelieveable really...been here over three years and never a problem with anyone ever...then this guy...wow... A guy on day shift I never even see or work with...about populating a field in tickets that we never had to populate before...been this way for over nine months...then he sends an email to all my co-workers just trying to make me look bad? Literally singles me out for something that everybody has been doing the same way since we bought these facilities?...Blew my mind...

So I do things how he wanted them done over the weekend...I love working nights, no politics, no rocking the boat, show up, handle our business go home, stay under the radar etc...I come back in yesterday and he had sent another e-mail out about the same issue that I had worked just the way he wanted...I was like whoa...WTF? The line in the e-mail that got me was "...if you can't or won't then we will find someone who can"...really? This guy is not my team lead, he is not my supervisor and he gonna send out an email like this? To my co-workers? I was so mad I was literally shaking...I was gonna sit in his chair and just wait for him to come on shift in the AM...It got to the point where I couldn't think or do my work. I called my supervisor at home, told him about the situation, told him I considereded it intimidation, a threat, harrassment and that I shouldn't have to put up with it, no one should.

Leaving yesterday morning I ran into the guy who was sending the emails. I asked if he wanted to go have a talk. We did. I told him if he has an issue with my work that he could email me directly, that his emails to the group were not appreciated and that I was taking his actions as a threat and an attempt at intimidation. He said, I swear to you he said " I do what ever I want to do around here what are you going to do about it?" I was like WTH is going on here. I reiterated my points a few more times before leaving for my stepmoms. Literally could not believe what had happened.

I come in today and my supervisor called him out in front of the group as a whole. Told him he could not be sending out e-mails like that. Did it in front of everyone. I firmly believe in "praise in public, criticize in private". But if your your gonna call out a member of your group over somthing that willy-nilly? Well then you deserve to be called out in front of the group yourself. I could tell my supervisor was not pleased last night when I called him. I really thought he would take him out of the room to address the issue. He didn't. according to James he didn't enen have his back back off his shoulder when he told him in front of the group he could not be doing that.

Just blows my mind.

Here is the thing. The evil one comes at us from all directions. This guy has had an issue with me since I bought the bike. He's jealous. His daughter and her kids live at home with him. He is not enjoying his life. He sees a free spirit loving his and it's more than he can take. ( I didn't even say this, I just told James I had a theory and James went on a lil rant and explained plenty that I had no idea about) It's evil, jealousy, envy, all the negative emotions, all they do is serve to keep you trapped and miserable. Instead of enjoying what he does have (kids, grandkids) he's jealous of a life he will never be able to live. After three years of working (albeit) on different shifts with the guy, this pops up now?

I know how it is Lucy. We are going to have a love and a life like few people ever get to, this kind of stuff is just going to come with the territory...I just absolutly refuse to have my calm, peace contentment affected by others...It's within me to remain happy and content, so I shall.

I haven't yet...but I will...

over and over and over and over....

Are you jonesin'...

Are you jonesin' for your attention Dollbaby? Is it like a drug that you just can't seem to do without?...

There aint no "John"...Travis aint in the picture...your almost ready...I can feel it in my bones...No way somebody keeps looking at this over and over every few minutes and is involved with someone else...I should have smelled that rat when it  first showed up...

When you gonna be my wife sweetheart? When we gonna get to tell this story to everyone that will listen...I love ya true, like no other ever gonna, or I wouldnt still be here...I know you know this...you can leave comments here you know...I'll see them...

you're so full of shit...you just crarck me up...

All I see when I think of you is that giddy, bubbly, smiley face of yours in Yahoo Chat...or coming down the stairs at Kindred...

I love you, my mission in life is to love you and Nicholas and to not let any harm come to either of you if I can prevent it...just let me live my mission sweetheart...your gonna love it...

106 page views...

106 page views...are you loving it? Are you on top of the world? Can you just not believe that things happened the way they did? That somebody is absolutely this crazy about you? Makes me smile just knowing you're that happy...Name on deed a week within coming to be with us...Financial and emotional security...It aint a joke, It deserves to be treated with the respect and dignity it warrants...Love you, going to work here soon...ttyl...

Night...

Going home...love you...

Your just amazing...

Your just amazing...just like I said, your the most beautiful, most intelligent, most amazing woman I have ever met...

"All day...

"All day, everyday, till the end of days...This is my dream, this is what I will work hard everyday of my life for..."

I really thought...

I really thought we would be married by now...I really did.

:-)....

Oh well...

I like it the more I know your looking at it anyway...:-).

Stop!!

No more! leave it right there...lol

1 more

2 more

3 more...

4 more to go...

6 more pageviews would make it... 69

6 more pageviews would make it 69 agian...just sayin...

I thought

I thought you were a real woman, that wanted a real man, that knew exactly what he wanted...either of us could be gone tomorrow sweetheart...then where would we be? "I would die a happy man if I only just knew that she had planed on being my wife someday" That is exactly how I feel and have felt and will feel...as great as your feeling right now flying in the clouds can't believe your living in a dream...thats how I'm gonna feel when we go get some ink on our fingers...by late fall...home at last, one last move forever, before Christmas...small ceremony in the spring...Destin next fall...simple, easy, if it's what we really both want, we will make it happen...Love you...night...by the way do you ever sleep?

You're funny...

Home...

Everynight...sit right here...listen to the frogs and the crickets and the owls...just enjoy, peace, calm, quiet...each other...

When...

When you gonna give me some more good stuff?...I still got screen captures of poems and such...come on girl...your killin me...

If...

"If I can't have her all the time, I don't want her at all. Know what Smokey Robinson said right? A lil taste of honey is worse than none at all..."

Rumi...go to bed it's late...call me sometime...soon...you know it's true...

Believe...

"Believe in love.
Believe in magic.
Believe in others.
Believe in yourself.
Believe in your dreams.
If you dont...
Who will?"

Jon Bon Jovi

Rumi

Be a hand that reaches out.
Be a smile for those who have no reason to smile.
be a light for those who live in darkness.

Rumi

Don't be sad!
Because God sends hope in the most desperate moments.
Don't forget, the heaviest rain comes out of the darkest clouds.

:-)

Rumi

If light is in your heart
you will find your way home.

I can hear you already...

I can hear you our first time on the phone already...voice quivering, very shaky..."Andrew?"...Me "Hey? What's up? Bout time stranger"...You'll have me on speaker but won't tell me, your friends and family all around..."Are you serious? Are you serious about what you've said?"...Me "Nah, I just made three seperate trips of close to 400 miles each to try and see you and sent you probably close to 9000 text in a year, because you know, I was just kidding and didn't mean a word of it...OFCOURSE I WAS FREAKING SERIOUS KNUCKLEHEAD!!"...Meant it all from the third time I walked you to your car...happens like that sometimes...whats a boy to do when he is that smitten? Walk away?...Obviously not my style...we can have a good life Hotrod...just waiting for you to get your nerve up...when you jump, I'll catch you...promise.