You

were the first person I let know about being on the side of the road with the truck.

I didn't think or hesitate.

It was like I was unconscious and the phone just jumped in my hand and I started texting.

Then I started working on what to do.

Thank goodness for Janet and James.

Would have been up a creek without a paddle.

Things work out.

They always do.

They say the first person you want to tell important news to say a lot.

Like I said it was like I looked down and the phone was already in my hand and I was texting and I wasn't even aware of it just yet.

Love you.

I'm

entirely serious.

I always has this image of us sitting in that truck.

Me 80 years old.

Driving us to McDonalds.

Taking my wife out for a date.

Getting a cheeseburger lol.

Maybe splitting a happy meal.

I can see you sitting there next to me.

That long beautiful grey hair.

Holding hands.

Riding to McDonald's.

No other truck ever gonna do Lucy.

It's just not the image I had in my mind.

Found

a reconditioned engine for $700.

Even with 24 hours labor at $60 an hour we're talking around $2000.

Beats a damn truck payment.

Just gotta take the one time hit and keep trucking.

It's all I know to do.

It's all I have ever done.

Don't let it get ya down.

Just keep plodding through.

What else can you do?

I would just like to get it home somehow to deal with local people, I or someone I know, knows.

Remember what I told you about once I have a plan?

Once I have a plan, I'm good, till then?

Well...lol.

Maybe not so much sometimes :-).

Love you Lucy.

I'm

hanging in there Lucy.

Slept solid from 7:30 - 2.

I didn't try to go back to sleep.

Janet had said something about the car battery.

I was scared it wouldn't start.

Figured I better get up.

Hard to go back to sleep anyway after I wake up.

Janet said the battery tested fine they just couldn't see a sticker to see how old it was.

I had forgot she had mentioned that.

My mind has been a lil preoccupied lately to say the least lol.

It's a nice vehicle.

It will serve Nicholas good.

Called the garage where the truck is.

Told them what was going on with the oil pressure.

Just want it fixed good enough to get it home.

Remembered Alan saying he had someone find a reconditioned Toyota engine and put it in his car for $750.

That might just be the way to go.

Doing better.

Just wanna go home and sleep.

For like two days lol.

Just wish we were together already.

Don't understand.

I want to take you out on date night when I am eighty years old, maybe go to McDonald's and get a hamburger, yes, in my old Nissan truck.

I told James and Carlos yesterday that if I had the money I would take it somewhere and just drop it off and say "Make it like new again." Carlos was all about pimping it out lol. I was like "No, not even that Carlos, just put a new engine in it, a new exhaust system, James chimed in, "a new transmission", I was like "yeah, some new wheels, belts, hoses, pumps, radiator, just fix it up, the only lil extra I would want would be a new sound system, something with USB and Bluetooth, no fancy wheels or anything, just make it new again."

They both looked at me like "OMG, he is going to do this."

Why is that Lucy?

Seems like

Mine are different :-).

Yep

I'm

just tired.

Feel a lil beat down every once in a while.

This weather lol.

I was looking forward to some 50 degree days.

Now even that seems like its weeks away.

Love ya Lucy.

Thanks for putting up with me Hotrod.

I mean

is it a month?

Or is it three months?

I asked you a while back to figure out a way to let me know somehow.

I've been stressed the fuck out since before my birthday.

Feel like nobody listen to or cares what I have to say.

It's like people expect me to understand that nobody listens to or cares what I have to say.

Not saying that's how it is.

Saying thats what it feels like.

It feels like "Oh don't worry about him, he will be okay."

Thats a familiar feeling.

I remember it all to well.

Went down that path way to many times.

I don't like it.

I want that feeling to be buried.

For good.

Forever.

Soon.

And I want to know approximately when Bambi.

Love you.

You're

killing me Lucy.

I hate not having my truck already :-(.

Been in this shit hole for 36 hours.

Slept on a couch.

I'm to old for this shit.

My MC lives in his parents basement.

He is am imbecile.

Can't write a grammatically correct sentence or spell.

This is the guy they put in management lol.

Don't have you :-(.

Don't have my truck :-(.

Don't know whats going on or when ;-(.

Wears on me.

Get sick of it.

It gets old.

Wanna ride.

Fucking never ending winter in late Feb.

Single digit lows comin this week. 

More snow Sunday and Mon and Tues.

Had enough sometimes, you know?

Just feel like, "Oh, just wait till Sept 6th, no wait till Christmas, no spring, no...just on and on and on with no end in sight...ever...there goes another birthday, there goes another Christmas, there goes another Valentines Day, there goes another...another...another...they just keep rolling on...

So when then?

What if you were me?

That's my question for you.

That's always been my question for you.

How would you feel?

How "positive" would you be feeling right now?

I gotta get.

I love you with all my heart and soul and having you as my wife and Nich being happy is all I ever really want out of life for going on three years now...

But I am so fucking tired...

These days and hours are killing me.

They are taking away from the time I could be spending with you.

And it just continues...

Easy for others to say stay positive, they haven't lived this.

It just not easy, and from time to time, it feels like it's not very appreciated.

I apologize for the winter blah's and all but the weather and this situation and my truck?

It's enough.

Okay, there I said my piece.

Love you.

Night.

:-)

Exactly

"All day, everyday till the end of days" Dollbaby.

:-).

Bedtime

aint it Lucy?

Love you.

Tired Lucy

Back to ones I noticed.

Nice.

Love you.

Somebody seems to like him.

Sometimes lol.

Could

have sworn Sporstergirl was trying to say this yesterday.

Followed closely by

Bahahahahahahaah

Sounds about right...

Released

2/21 1965.

"I'm a gonna tell ya how it's gonna be

You're gonna give your love to me

A love that will last more than one day

Well you know my love won't fade away..."