Funny...

how you are always looking in here right when you know where I am.

Like I don't  know it's you Virgie.

Give me a break lol.

Whatever.

 

Total bill for plumbers?

$581.

Go figure lol.

Maybe that's not that big of a deal for some people.

But for a single parent to get hit with that kind of unexpected bill?

It's a hit financially.
 

Oh well.

What can you do but move on?

Whats done is done.

Took some out of savings.

Put some on the credit card.

Hate to do that but I got to keep some cash stocked away.

This is the fastest I have ever went through this much of my tax return.

Won't even get any next year.

Like I said.
Goin on faith.
 

And yes, still getting Air Filter for the bike.

Daddy deserves a life.

Like I said, it's

happening.

Period.

Or I will loose my everliving mind.
Whats left of it anyway.
This cheek is an extra check so some of that and the 20 hours of PTO I sold back cover it.

Ready to hear the gross gory details of the toilet that wouldn't flush right?

There is no septic tank.

House was built in 1940's.

Waste just empties out a good ways out into the pasture next door.

Keep in mind at one time that pasture and this house were on the same property.

They obviously didn't care then.

I told Christian all this years ago when we had to have roots cleared out of the main drain for the laundry.

Him and Jimmy freaked out a lil then let it go.

Worried about their horses.

It was a horse that stepped on that line and clogged it up actually.
That and some roots from the trees.

I'm not telling them about what was done today.

Told them last time, it should come as no surprise really but I am sure they won't remember.

Plumber said to sell the house I would need to bring it up to code and that would mean having a septic tank and lateral lines put in $3000-$5000.

Yeah...two words.

Aint happening.

I asked the plumber what would happen if it was just given away?

He said as long as there wasn't a bank involved there wouldn't have to be an inspection and there wouldn't have to be a septic system put in.

Jimmy wants it bad enough? He can put it in.

Take it off of the cost of the house.

Whatever.
Cross that bridge when needed.
 

Why the fuck do I even bother to tell my electronic ghost these things?

Seems like if she really cared and wanted to ease my mind she would talk to me you know?
 

I told Nicholas yesterday "I get paid tomorrow, checking account is kind of low right now."

He says "I wouldn't be worrying about it if I was you."

Now just why is that Lucy?

I don't know what your plan is or what you're doing but I thought you might want to know some things.
 

Funny how Nich asked me how much the house cost a few weeks ago, just in passing.

Then a few weeks later he says "Well, that's really not that much."

He is 15!

What does he know?

Somebody is telling him things Lucy and I think I know who.
 

I told you a long time ago we are sinking.
Slowly but still.

I got a few more years to make it with him.
I made it this long, lord knows I can continue, I've been doing it my whole life.

When I tell him that?
He doesn't say a word...
Just smiles.
Says alot really.

When I told Christian that Nich was expected to pay for his own car insurance?
He said "Good, stick to that."
I was like "Dude, it's just the reality of where we are and him living in a single parent home."
Now why would Christian think I would ever not stick to makin him pay for his own insurance?

It would just be nice to know I'm gonna have somebody to cross that finish line with him with sweetheart.
 

Just sayin...

 

I flat out told him yesterday "I can tell something is going on and whoever is behind it?

If they don't understand that this is not healthy for me?

That it is causing me more stress and anxiety than it should?

Well...they should understand that."

 

Shortly after he disappeared to go throw the rest of his milkshake away while we were in Wal-Mart.

I wonder who he was talking to on the phone when he went to do that?

Like I don't know.

After thathe was all rubbing my back and being nice and sweet,no more smart ass bull shit like I get sick of lol.

 

Tell me to come and I will leave right now.

I looked around after the plumbers left.

Not much I would take unless Nich wants stuff when he ventures out on his own.

Then I suppose it could be put in storage.

Me?

I could take everything I want in a small uhaul trailer.

I told you before...

 

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes...

Love you.

 Peace...

It's all I really want and all I really want anybody else to have...

I don't have mine anymore...

and I know I won't have it...

till we are husband and wife...