Hey girl...

Woke up feeling very rested.

Appetite is back :-).

Got down a super burrito from La Bamba.

"Burritos as big as your head" lol.

Had a cup cake for desert.

Kindred gave out packages of four to everybody last night.

Janet started in on me about Christmas as soon as I got up.

Wants me to go home Christmas eve and come back up here Christmas day.

I'm not doing it.

Nicholas doesn't wanna celebrate.

How you gonna celebrate with someone that doesn't want to?

Whats the point in that?

I told him we could go see a movie in Owensboro.

He thought that was weird.

I said a lot of movies come out on Christmas Day and for some people that is their tradition.

He said okay.

Told him I would cook a turkey.

That we could have dinner with Christian and the boys.

That I would like to see them open up their gifts.

Thats all I want.

Peace.

And seeing the smiles on those two boys faces Christmas day.

And you lol. Whenever that happens lol.

But I just wanna see them.

I told Janet she was more than welcome to come but that is what we would be doing.

She doesn't like coming to our house.

"There is nothing to do." she says.

Exactly, I say.

It's how we like it.

"When in Rome"

She acts like she is put out that we wont be coming.

I can't deal with the stress of those two going at it anymore.

Dust hasn't settled from the last visit and here she is scheduling round two.

No thanks.

Come have a laid back redneck Christmas with us or be by yourself.

She is running out of options.

Not my fault.

She is always welcome.

Her decision.

"I'll think about it." she says in a snide of a tone as I have ever heard.

Okay then, do that.

Cause it's how we are going to be.

I'm 50 years old.

I wanna be home.

I won't be made to feel guilty about it.

Not by any one, ever.

She will get over it.

She always does.

I just don't wanna keep going through it.

Pushed and pulled and proded and drug all over gods creation for close to forty years.

Splitting time between four families.

When I say I wanna be home for Christmas?

Thats where I wanna be.

I don't wanna have to explain myself over and over and over.

(Take note please lol)

Nicholas said she told him "I wouldn't mind if I never see you again" as she drove off from OCharleys when she was taking him to mom and Al.

Careful what you wish for.

Now the guilt is settling in and she wants to make up for it.

Good luck.

She pushed everyone else out of her life.

Why would we be any different?

If you can't do things for others out of the goodness of your heart?

Then do the rest of us a favor.

Don't even bother.

I haven't been in the Holiday spirit to say the least.

Been a lil busy trying to get well and checking on my boys mental health.

It's like the holidays haven't even existed in my mind yet.

I told Nich it was going to be a boring weekend.

I would cook a turkey breast and there were plenty of veggies in the frig,

Help yourself.

I'm sleeping and watching football.

Resting trying to heal.

Something tells me here before to long?

I better be good and rested lol.

Love you Lucy.