I

just want people to understand two things:

1) I know whats going on. Please stop with all the fake bullshit. I see right through it, all it does is piss me off. I'm sick of it. Knock it off. We can make it for the duration that we need to. Even longer if we had to.

2) I always have and will always continue to do what I feel is best for me and my son. Period. Not what others wish me to do that contain their own individual bias based on what they think is best for them. Staying here is not an option in this equation. Period. People need to make their peace with it. Honestly? Given how long this has been comin? They should have made their peace with things a long time ago.

If I have learned anything, it's this, you'll never know true happiness living out your life for someone else. From what I've seen that is nothing short of a recipe for misery. It doesn't matter who they are or what that relationship is. It's your life. You've one shot. It's really not all that long of a time when you think about it. Best to make the most of it if you ask me. People hate it because you're demonstrating the guts and the courage to live your life in a way they that they not only didn't, but simply couldn't have even if they wanted. Not my problem. We're all responsible for the choices we make. The underlying message here is "live like me, be miserable like everybody else, how dare you go out on a limb and take chances and end up happy." If people do things because they expect something back in return? Then they have done it for the wrong reasons and shouldn't have even bothered to begin with.

A relative of mine and his wife were at a family gathering a while back. Recent "empty nesters" so to speak. All the kids are now out of the house. The coolness and the aloofness that surrounded these two peoples auras was striking. They never so much as stood by each other. Never smiled at each other. Not the slightest warmth or affection shown, ever. Never even smiled at each other. Best I could tell they never even spoke to one another. If they did it was few and far between. No thanks. Not the life I'm gonna live. Never was. I decided a long time ago I would rather be on my own than to live like that. What the fuck kinda life is that? Not one I wanna be living. These guys are my age. They got thirty years of that shit head of them? Have fun with that.

I just wanna get to the point in my life where I wake up everyday and when I see your face? Every time I see your face actually, The first thing I think is, "Can you believe this? Can you believe how things ended up for us?" and I will think it every single second of every single day, for the rest of my life.

Something tells me you know exactly what I'm talking about and you feel the same exact way :-).

No wonder so many people hate it. 

Because everybody wants it but so few ever get it. 

I know it's right around the corner sweetheart.

We're all good over here.

Promise.

Love ya Bambi.

ttys.