Wednesday, August 21, 2013
All it takes...
All it takes, is you saying, yes, this is what I have decided I want, and then a job in Evansville...No more moving ever agian...You will move into the home you will grow old in...promise.
Still with me sweetheart?
Got to go brew some...always have a cup or two this time of AM if I'm riding home...Don't drink it if I'm in the truck...
Who else...
Who else ever gonna give you the greatest argument you ever heard agianst atheism and David Bowie "Heros" live within hours of each other?...let's see here...Your future husband that's who...aint nobody else ever gonna blow your mind like me sweetheart...Don't ever think I don't know it.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Heros..
I could write a book on this one, I guarantee you I could...Gets me fired up these days when I think about fighting for Nicholas..."We could beat them forever and ever". The slow build up, the droning guitar that just sounds fabulous...Like the guy or not he has a great voice and is a fantastic performer...'I would be king...and you...you would be my queen" reminds me of you and me..."We can be Heros, just for one day"...I remember reading an interview with Springsteen where he said he thought it was odd how songs changed could their meaning over the years to him as a performer even though the lyrics never changed, mostly based on life circumstances and the like...I was like "Dude! that's true for the audience as well"...So it is with this song...it's changed it's meaning many times for me through the years...Right now it's an anthem about fighting for him... Your beautiful, I love you...peace.
Backups coming...
'Dizzy found me last night
Saw some kind of new light
I woke up in a whirlwind
Just you watch my head spin
The spectacle that made you cry
It's a thrill a minute plane ride
It's over time at ring side, no lie..."
Saw some kind of new light
I woke up in a whirlwind
Just you watch my head spin
The spectacle that made you cry
It's a thrill a minute plane ride
It's over time at ring side, no lie..."
Do you...
Do you really love me Lucy? Is this really what you want? Know what's going to happen? You're gonna be all ready to go one day and show me you've made up your mind and that you're serious and we are going to do this...and then I'll be the one shaking in my shoes lol...I'll be like "Oh shit, I caught the prize, what the hell do I do now? I was so worried about chasing her and catching her I forgot to even think what to do when I caught her"...
nah, not really, well maybe a lil, but this comes to easy and natural for me, it's how I know it's right...so when I catch you? I'll just keep doing what I've been doing...It just seems like what I am supposed to do...who am I to argue?
Lots of people gonna be jealous of our lives and our love, it won't be easy, but I have no doubt, we will be fine...absolutely none...
Goodness...I can here the guys that know nothing of this story already..."some guys have all the luck"...and my response? and the people who know me know it's true..."I asure you, luck had nothing to do with it..."
nah, not really, well maybe a lil, but this comes to easy and natural for me, it's how I know it's right...so when I catch you? I'll just keep doing what I've been doing...It just seems like what I am supposed to do...who am I to argue?
Lots of people gonna be jealous of our lives and our love, it won't be easy, but I have no doubt, we will be fine...absolutely none...
Goodness...I can here the guys that know nothing of this story already..."some guys have all the luck"...and my response? and the people who know me know it's true..."I asure you, luck had nothing to do with it..."
Just sayin...
There aint no keeping these, or giving these back, it's why I like it, it's why I want it...and yes I will remind you from time to time...
I wish...
I wish I knew it was really you Lucy...but somebody with the Google+ ID of Virgie Tidmore is 1+ing theses post, and that feels much better than just talking to the wind...I don't care if you are sharing them with your friends..I'm ready for all the world to know how much I love you, have been for a while now...share away sweetheart...
Love the ride...
Love the ride home in the morning...Getting out of the city, being home...Kenny gave me my Friday off so I could go to the football game and see Nicholas first band performance :-), he is going to be a happy boy...he is really not expecting me to be there...
First time I ever missed a patch night I was scheduled to work...Oh well. three and a half years and only missed three days of work ever, two of those being due to the weather and living 90 miles away, it ought to get me something in return...I text Adam and let him know what was coming so he was aware before Kenny even called him that he would be filling in...cause you know...that's the kind of guy I am and such...lol
First time I ever missed a patch night I was scheduled to work...Oh well. three and a half years and only missed three days of work ever, two of those being due to the weather and living 90 miles away, it ought to get me something in return...I text Adam and let him know what was coming so he was aware before Kenny even called him that he would be filling in...cause you know...that's the kind of guy I am and such...lol
It's just mind numbing...
DMB...It's like being on a different planet for three and a half, four hours...I just can't even begin to explain...
That's what...
That's what I like about you...you don't take offense when I share something sexual with you...I never try to be crude, I promise you I could be, very much so if I wanted...but I just can't be like that with you, you deserve more respect than that...What I do like to do however, is paint images in your mind of times, places and settings of how things can be between us...That is very enjoyable for me to do and you've been very receptive to it...it's appreciated...I hope I never step out of bounds into trashy, but at the same time I want you to know in no uncertian terms that I am a man, and that I hunger for you, and it's natural, well intentioned, wants to be fullfilled within the context of marriage etc...
Well...
You know if I ever had an address somebody might get some someday...but till then...well I guess these will have to do...
Awesome...
Love that 1+...yes I do...
"Time, space, energy and matter all just came into exhistance all on their own, just decided one day out of the blue they were going to exhist and created themselves out of nothingness?...Wow, people really buy into that?" One of my favoriate sayings...
Let me know your Lucy would ya Lucy?
"Time, space, energy and matter all just came into exhistance all on their own, just decided one day out of the blue they were going to exhist and created themselves out of nothingness?...Wow, people really buy into that?" One of my favoriate sayings...
Let me know your Lucy would ya Lucy?
Are you still...
Are you still with us Lucy? Or did I loose ya? 1+ this post if your still onboard with us and think you can handle it...we're a package deal, at least for a few years sweetheart. I really think with all you've been through, you would be a great asset for him...I honestly believe that with all my heart..with you in the picture he will have another positive voice in the equation, telling him to chase his dreams, never give up...and in all likelihood? a lil bit more of a comforting and nurturing side as well...Love ya Lucy...if this is really you I'm talking to...cause you know, I still don't really know who is 1+ ing these post and all...but I gotta pretty good hunch...
Nicholas...
Nicholas Game Plan
He walks in his room the other day and this conversation was like it was with a 25 year old.
"I know where I want to be." "Where is that?" "Something happened to me when we went to NewYork, I've just never gotten over it, I've always wanted to go back". (He went to New York City for a week with his Gifted and Talented group when he was in sixth grade). "Okay so what are you saying?" "I want to live in New York when I get older. Something inside me changed when we went there, I haven't been the same since and I know it's where I want to be. I remember standing in Times Square and it just hit me, this is where it's at" "Your heart knows where it should be, it will find it's own way to it's home someday. So what is your plan?" "Okay I want to get my associates degree at OCC (Owensboro Community College 24 miles away), then join the Navy and do IT work for them while traveling and seeing the world, finish my bachelor's degree in Hardware and Software Engineering while at sea, then set out to work in New York." "Well, if your gonna do it just do it, there will never be the perfect time or enough money saved up, when you go, just go, make it work, and if you gotta scrub toilets or cook, or wait tables and live in a flat with 10 other people, just go make it happen for yourself, I know if it's truly what you want, you will make it happen". This next part of the conversation is what really really struck home to me and proved to me he is serious about this as very few 14 year olds (11 years old at the time it happened) would ever think like this. "I remember sitting on the bus going to all the touristy things we were doing and I remember looking around at all the people, and the Greek thing over here and the ethiopian thing over there and the itilain restaurant over there, and the chineses thing over there and I thought, "Why are we here on this bus doing this touristy crap?" I wanna be out there on the street where the action is with all the people." He went onto say, "I remember looking around and thinking there's the mass transit terminals for the trains and the subways, I'll have to get very fimiliar with those, that way I wont need a car to get around..." At 11 years old he was thinking like this...his peers laugh at his dreams, they are caught up in all the high school drama nonsense, he is so above all that... and while it hurts sometimes to be different and to chart one's own path, he knows in the long run he will be much better for it...I got a feeling he will be the one laughing before long...and if it doesn't turn out like he planned? Well, better to have a plan and try your hardest to make it work than to just drift through life aimlessly I say...Oh, and his charting his own path? Yeah, that kind of reminds me of you Lucy...Love you...peace...
Okay...
Okay so you won't 1+ every little thing I put on here, nice to know lol.
Some things you should know about us. You said you wanted someone that wasn't afraid to share everything with you, you wanted someone to be "an open book" so here goes.
We don't keep a whole lot of close friends in our little community. We are way "to much" for a lot of people in lil old Hancock County to grasp. It's just the truth. I have four or five really close friends and I would just as soon keep it that away. People at church are supportive, but for the most part they do not understand us in the least...Oh well, when we need support certian ones have always been there for us in prayer, a phone call, a visit to the house and that's all that's really needed or matters.
You said be an open book, so I am and if you run? Well you run. Not like you haven't been already lol. You might want to brush up on logiacl fallacies before you ever come around Nicholas. He likes to believe he is an atheist. Personally, I think to struggle with faith at his age shows a maturity that will benefit him greatly later on in life. But that is my oppion.
Sample conversations in our home:
Me: "What do you know about the Big Bang theory?"
Nich: "There was a sub-atomic particle that exploded"
Me:"But it's a theory, it hasn't been proven, right?"
Nich: "Well, yeah..."
Me: "So your choosing to believe in something you can't prove?"
Nich: "I guess yeah..."
Me: "How is your choosing to believe in something you can't prove any different from people of faith (I never say Christian in these matters, always "people of faith") choosing to believe in something they can't prove? (and honestly, I don't feel the need to prove, as I know it to be true from personal experience.)
Months later:
Me: "I just wanna know where the subatomic particle came from and what caused it to explode." (talking about the Big Bang Theory).
Nich: "We don't know yet."
Me: "I don't think we ever will and that's just the way it works."
Nich: "You don't know that."
Me: "Neither do you."
See how both arguments are equally valid? Which to me seems to be the way our creator intended it to be. He gave us free will you know? He did not force us to believe, he gave us that option.
These conversations are not mean-spirited, just good natured intellectual banter back and forth. Only thing is sometimes he wants to discuss things like this and I am tired or just not in the mood for such heavy intellectual conversations and he doesn't understand that. He's 14, he doesn't get that most people are worried about jobs or putting food on the table for their families and don't have the luxury of comptemplating lifes mysteries all day long as he can. I'm just telling you to be ready, he's very sharp with well thought out posistions on most subjects and he will test you. He will love you like a sister as long as you show him love, patience, support and respect, but he will test to see where you stand and how you well you can defend your beliefs.
Just thought you might want to know what you may be deciding to walk into lol. One thing is for certian, it's never boaring at our house lol. Anyway, I've got four to six more years to be with the boy and then he is off to conquer the world...he has a great game plan actually...more on that in the next post...
You sure you can handle us Lucy? I mean are you sure beyond any doubt? I just want you to know how things are...being that "open book" you wanted, sharing it all sweetheart...
Some things you should know about us. You said you wanted someone that wasn't afraid to share everything with you, you wanted someone to be "an open book" so here goes.
We don't keep a whole lot of close friends in our little community. We are way "to much" for a lot of people in lil old Hancock County to grasp. It's just the truth. I have four or five really close friends and I would just as soon keep it that away. People at church are supportive, but for the most part they do not understand us in the least...Oh well, when we need support certian ones have always been there for us in prayer, a phone call, a visit to the house and that's all that's really needed or matters.
You said be an open book, so I am and if you run? Well you run. Not like you haven't been already lol. You might want to brush up on logiacl fallacies before you ever come around Nicholas. He likes to believe he is an atheist. Personally, I think to struggle with faith at his age shows a maturity that will benefit him greatly later on in life. But that is my oppion.
Sample conversations in our home:
Me: "What do you know about the Big Bang theory?"
Nich: "There was a sub-atomic particle that exploded"
Me:"But it's a theory, it hasn't been proven, right?"
Nich: "Well, yeah..."
Me: "So your choosing to believe in something you can't prove?"
Nich: "I guess yeah..."
Me: "How is your choosing to believe in something you can't prove any different from people of faith (I never say Christian in these matters, always "people of faith") choosing to believe in something they can't prove? (and honestly, I don't feel the need to prove, as I know it to be true from personal experience.)
Months later:
Me: "I just wanna know where the subatomic particle came from and what caused it to explode." (talking about the Big Bang Theory).
Nich: "We don't know yet."
Me: "I don't think we ever will and that's just the way it works."
Nich: "You don't know that."
Me: "Neither do you."
See how both arguments are equally valid? Which to me seems to be the way our creator intended it to be. He gave us free will you know? He did not force us to believe, he gave us that option.
These conversations are not mean-spirited, just good natured intellectual banter back and forth. Only thing is sometimes he wants to discuss things like this and I am tired or just not in the mood for such heavy intellectual conversations and he doesn't understand that. He's 14, he doesn't get that most people are worried about jobs or putting food on the table for their families and don't have the luxury of comptemplating lifes mysteries all day long as he can. I'm just telling you to be ready, he's very sharp with well thought out posistions on most subjects and he will test you. He will love you like a sister as long as you show him love, patience, support and respect, but he will test to see where you stand and how you well you can defend your beliefs.
Just thought you might want to know what you may be deciding to walk into lol. One thing is for certian, it's never boaring at our house lol. Anyway, I've got four to six more years to be with the boy and then he is off to conquer the world...he has a great game plan actually...more on that in the next post...
You sure you can handle us Lucy? I mean are you sure beyond any doubt? I just want you to know how things are...being that "open book" you wanted, sharing it all sweetheart...
I thought you wanted
I thought you wanted to play Lucy...Don't mean to make you cry sweetheart...Just asking questions and speaking truth that's all...
176...
176 pageview total the last 24 hours ...WOW...should I be the one being scared Lucy? Who is chasin' who here? That's a page view every eight minutes...You got friends helping you Lucy? lol Are they jealous?
I will love, support, encourage and protect you all of my days...I have proven I will...Being a good dad and loving and protecting you...this is my calling in life, promise.
I will love, support, encourage and protect you all of my days...I have proven I will...Being a good dad and loving and protecting you...this is my calling in life, promise.
Are you...
Are you just going to 1+ everything I put on here from now on? lol...If you have kept every lil scrap of anything and everything I have ever sent you where in the world do you have room for it all? You got some dedicated server to our love knucklehead? :-). I would'nt doubt it...it should have one...this is one for the ages my love...yes indeed...
Are you there Lucy?
Are you there Lucy? Is it really you sweetheart? When will you let me know for sure? Please let it be soon...oh lord, please let it be soon...You ready to "play" some more tonight? Funny how there aren't any page views till I get up and get started on here...Like I don't know who it is at this point...Love ya girl...
I knew...
I knew "John" was bull shit...you take me by suprise sometimes...then it takes me a lil bit to catch up...but I was like wait a minute, this just aint adding up...It just never made sense...
:-)...
:-)...winding down...shift is almost over...starting to feel like I am not talking to a ghost anymore...I like it...
I honestly believe...
I honestly believe it is who I think it is...but I need to know for certain this time...I just want that first all night phone call...more than anything that's what I want in the near future...and yes I will say "Whats up Kitty Cat?" when you call...
Love you...
Love you...get some sleep...figure out a way to prove to me who you are...then I'll really be speachless...night...
How...
How do I know you are who I think you to be? You could be anyone that's shared out their username and password, sharing accounts, just like e-mails with "Tina"...playing with my heart all over agian...kind of like the boy that cried wolf...How do I know you're Lucy?...Oh be still my beating heart...
Talk is...
Talk is cheap...I've heard a lot before but not really seen that much...easy to be like guys at work and hide behind text, email, fake profiles, etc...It's why I drove to Cookeville, to Baxter, to Albany...I wasn't content to tell you...I wanted to show you.
I hope...
I hope your not pulling my leg Lucy...We've gotten close before only to have things blow up...You still just giving me a hard time dollbabay?
Wow...
Wow...I'm speachless...I've been yappin' at you for a year...for the first time I really don't know what to say...wow...wow...we really gonna do this Lucy? We really gonna make it work? I'm all in if you are...excuse me...I'm a bird if your a bird...
Monday, August 19, 2013
One plus
One plus this post if you know beyond a shadow of a doubt you want to be my wife and live a quiet peacefull life in the country...
Still waiting...
Still waiting on that five Lucy..."Hey Lucy, I'm home..." I can't wait to say it...I might walk outside and then come back in just so I can have another chance to say it...I Love it...
So...
So I just wanna make sure I got this right...You know I am posting these to your google+ account...and you know that I am seeing you 1+ them...yet we still aren't talking? Okay Lucy...you're the one always been driving this train...lol
That's what I thought...
That's what I thought...What did somebody say once? Something about an inside joke builds intamacy?
Yep...
Mia: Don't you hate that?
Vincent: What?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question.
Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
Vincent: What?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question.
Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
1 AM Backups coming...
1 AM Backups coming gotta go...aren't you glad you found somebody who is on your level and "gets" you? Get some sleep...peace...
Is ...
Is the ice finally statring to thaw? Does somebody finally get just how much they mean to me and how bad I want to be with them?...House paid off as soon as possible...Small garden, solar pannels, kayaks...
I don't know that we will do everything I want us to do...I just know there's nobody I'd rather try and do it all with than you...cause I know, a trip to the store gonna be full of laughs...it's like you just came right out of heaven and sat right down next to me one night...blessed beyond belief...just want that cherry on top of life...Love you dingleberry...peace...
I don't know that we will do everything I want us to do...I just know there's nobody I'd rather try and do it all with than you...cause I know, a trip to the store gonna be full of laughs...it's like you just came right out of heaven and sat right down next to me one night...blessed beyond belief...just want that cherry on top of life...Love you dingleberry...peace...
I think somebody understands this really well now...
I think somebody understands this really well now...Imagine poor Nicholas, he has been having his mind expanded since birth...boy is 14 going on 35...it's the truth...
I just wanna know...
I just wanna know you whole heart is mine...that you want this more than you've wanted anything else in your life and know that it won't be easy, far from it...but it will be so worth it, I promise you, I will stand with you thick and thin...your everything I ever wanted and then some...
It just amazes me...
It just amazes me that two people can communicate without talking for so long...accident, pure coincidence I am sure...
Written from a womans perspective....
Written from a womans perspective, but I thought it was funny...
Well...
Well, if there ever is to be one I am sure I would remember it...you're not the only good kisser in the equation sweetheart...lol...your knees gonna be the ones getting weak...
Five...
Can a brotherman get a five? On any post ever? Well not really more like one post in particular...you know you want to...
I have been...
I have been...Don't you think I will continue to? Geez Louise Lucy, give a boy a break every once in a while...Sending stuff to your Google+ account...funny how "john" doesn't seem to mind that...or the 120 page views a day...it's just funny...
When?
When we gonna have that first all night telephone conversation? When Lucy? Driving me crazy Lucy...
You're averaging...
You're averaging...like 120 pageviews a day for a couple of weeks now...and you're the one that is scared? Really? Come on girl, give me a break...lol...you've been busted since day one sweetheart...No way your with someone and looking at this Blog that much...that dog just don't hunt...crack me up...
Don't think...
Don't think I'm not still waiting for that fifth page view either...you're funny...always have been...
I'm tired Lucy...
Had to cancel our trip out west :-(...Just to much going on to pull it off...ER Bill, Lawyer Fees, Nicholas didn't want to miss that much school etc...Oh well life goes on, we will kayak the Green River through Mamoth Cave National Park this fall, there will be things we can do localy to make up for not going...Bigger fish to fry these days than a trip out west...
You asked do I trust you...obviously I do or I wouldn't still be here. I believe in what Adam Somed said. I believe there is chemistry and fate and having been chased like never before and Rumi and on and on and on, so that it makes sense you would be scared. I'm intense honey. I ride intense, love intense, work intense when it calls for it...It's who I am, you'll never have to guess with me as to what kind of mood I am in or where things stand with us, this I can promise you.
Nicholas first High School Marching Band performance is this Friday PM. I asked off so I could be there for it. Nobody else is on the calendar, so I should be off. I just hate asking with such short notice. My family is out of town and I just can't see having the boy go to his first performance by himself, not with everything else he has going on with his moma...I just feel like I need to be there for him. I wanna ride the bike in right before half time, go sit somewhere down front, yes, complete with dorag. Have a sign made that says "Go Nicholas!" and just make a complete fool of myself for the boy.
The only things I want out of life Lucy are for him to be happy and for us to live a life together..."However long it takes, whatever I gotta do...this is my dream, this is what I will work hard for everyday of my life for...all day, everyday, till the end of days"...love don't come more true than this sweetheart I'm sorry it scares you...
You asked do I trust you...obviously I do or I wouldn't still be here. I believe in what Adam Somed said. I believe there is chemistry and fate and having been chased like never before and Rumi and on and on and on, so that it makes sense you would be scared. I'm intense honey. I ride intense, love intense, work intense when it calls for it...It's who I am, you'll never have to guess with me as to what kind of mood I am in or where things stand with us, this I can promise you.
Nicholas first High School Marching Band performance is this Friday PM. I asked off so I could be there for it. Nobody else is on the calendar, so I should be off. I just hate asking with such short notice. My family is out of town and I just can't see having the boy go to his first performance by himself, not with everything else he has going on with his moma...I just feel like I need to be there for him. I wanna ride the bike in right before half time, go sit somewhere down front, yes, complete with dorag. Have a sign made that says "Go Nicholas!" and just make a complete fool of myself for the boy.
The only things I want out of life Lucy are for him to be happy and for us to live a life together..."However long it takes, whatever I gotta do...this is my dream, this is what I will work hard for everyday of my life for...all day, everyday, till the end of days"...love don't come more true than this sweetheart I'm sorry it scares you...
I say what I mean...
I say what I mean and I do what I say, it keeps life "simple"...I can't help it I fell in love with you, you got the purest heart I ever met and no other is ever going to do for me...and if that means this don't happen and I live my life here just like I have been, well, so be it.
I love you Lucy, I want you for my wife...I gotta go to work, going up the Indiana side, back roads on Indiana 62 and 66 all the way to the New Albany bridge...
Better think about how your going to respond when that text comes from me some day soon...both of our futures hang in the balance...Peace...
I love you Lucy, I want you for my wife...I gotta go to work, going up the Indiana side, back roads on Indiana 62 and 66 all the way to the New Albany bridge...
Better think about how your going to respond when that text comes from me some day soon...both of our futures hang in the balance...Peace...
It's funny...
It's funny how the page-views go down after I tell somebody I'm not going to be on here...Don't ever think I aint got you figured out...have since day one...
Do you...
Do you love me Lucy? Do you really? Are you really going to go file a complaint on me?...Averaging 100+ page-views for over a week now and your scared of me? I have no idea where you are...I'm not searching anymore...If you want me in your life you'll let it be known...I've told you and told you what I bring to the table...Not my fault you weren't ready to deal with it...This is very doable...somebody just needs to get on-board with it...
Nicholas says...
Nicholas says, people see me like some mean ass rough and tough Russian bear on the outside, but the truth is I'm really just a big Teddy Bear...He's right, he knows me pretty well...
Owls, crickets,...
Owls, crickets, fog, moon, coyotes, clouds, fog, frogs...just like I love it...especially on Sun night late...the quietist time of all...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
