Aint...

 

Aint no player here. Aint never been no 'player" here, couldn't ever do it....Players get played eventually and usually end up unhappy as everybody eventually figures out what they are all about. If I tried to be a "player" I'd be laughed at even more than I am already. I can't do it, I would come of as phony as hell and any and everyone could see right through it. Games over. It was over a long time ago. I don't 'play'. Period. I'm straight up who I am, if she don't want it all she has to do is say so one more time. It seems to be all she ever wants to say to me anyway lol. The real her, the one who has actaully text me anyway lol. I am as real and as authentic as they come, been this way for 30+ years, what you see is what you get, I see what I want, I go for it, fall on my face, so what, get up and keep going for what I know in my heart to be true. And when in the world do I have time to be a "player"? And where exactly would I do this playing? Cannelton? Tell City? Owensboro? Please, no thanks. Louisville? Ha, all sleep eat and work when I'm there. Her, or I'll be happy being the old crazy, christian, hippie, biker coot that nobody that didn't take the time to get to know ever knew what to make of him. I'm comfortable either way, I  would just much rather go through life with her than without her. I've done all I can to show her, I plan on keep on showing her, all of my days.

 

Because every second of everday since she left I have been wishing she was by my side. My actions match my words. She knows this. It's called integrity. Anybody can say anything in an electronic format. I back my shit up, always have, always will, she got the numbers, tell her to call them all agian and see what they have to say about me.  All I care about is having her as my wife and Nicholas being happy. People that are jealous or don't want to have anything to do with us? Fuck em, they can get over that shit, that's on them. I tell Nicholas all the time, people gonna do and say and think what they want to anyway, be yourself in spite of them, you'll live a much happier life.

 

I love her. I fell for her way early on. Just imagine sitting in a room and out of the blue everything you had been telling people you wanted just walks in and sits down by you. I literaly was like "Did that just really happen? For all of a few minutes, then I was like, fuck it, theres a reason she showed up, don't think to much, go for it, show her how badly you are attracted to her and how badly you want her in your life". Been following that mantra ever since, thinkin' it's just about to pay off...I hope and pray so anyway...

 

I'll keep my lunch warm for her and when she shows up I'll give it to her, just like I already have my heart mind body and soul...

 

Peace