I get it...

Tina said "So you're just gonna hang around in limbo till she decides to come along?"

"Yeah, if that's what I got to do."

"Well that's crazy"
"Maybe to you, not to me, what's perfectly normal to you can be crazy to me and what's crazy to me can be perfectly normal to you."

Crickets...she just couldn't believe it.

"On my darkest days thoughts of you have helped get me by."

"I know I can get back to being the woman I was for the man I love." 

I don't think you are fucked up for being in counseling. Thats a sign of strength. Nicholas agrees, we both been in it. It's a sign that you know somethings not working and want to fix it. That's wise, not crazy. Whats crazy is not talking to me and just letting me know about it, that's what's crazy..You're working hard. Keep it up. The trust with the army pic was about one one thousandth of what it was with the ones from the other day. Just keep them coming and Ill be chill, if not I get freaked out. (That's my issue anxiety that you're gonna have to find a way to deal with). Don't even have to show skin, some nice sexy lingerie or bra and panty shots do just fine, hide in Yahoo all you want. They are mine, I don't share. I aint like that. Ask James. I might tell people you sent me some pics :-), but I'll never show em to anybody (Except maybe Fawn someday. lol)  I'm here, I aint goin no where. "If he can love me through my darkest, he deserves me at my finest", Something like that you said. The pieces of the puzzle just came together.

You were in an abusive relationship for 10 years, lord only knows why. I told you, it don't matter what I hear or what has happened in the past, the only thing that matters is us going forward. Period."Whatever I gotta do, however long it takes, that's what I'm going to do". Meant it then, mean it now, I will always mean it, because if I didn't I couldn't still be here and you know it.

I said shit to you on purpose that would scare a dominatrix away. (And yes I can be that freaky at times lol) You're still here. There is no restraining order or stop and desist order coming, nor will there ever be, you've made that clear. Says a lot.

.

The POF stuff was because of living with Travis. Had to hide. That's not abusive, that's being abused. I could tell in that little fuckers eyes he was up to something. Somewhere along the lines of when you started 1+ing things on Google+ you must have broke free from him. Because you didn't care to let it be known it's you. I just wish you were talking back like in the old POF days, but just knowing you're seeing the post here is better than only having text and not knowing if you're getting them. Your amazing, your beautiful and were gonna have a wonderful life together. You can try and play it like you were the abuser, but the storyline reads the opposite, and Nicholas gives it away, sorry, he does, good little actor is he, but every once in a while he can't hold it in and I see through it. It would work on anybody else. I raised the boy since he was two and a half, he can't fool me either, not for extended times anyway.

You're councilor probably doesn't want you having direct contact and I understand. It's good advice. I always felt like there was somebody behind the scenes pulling strings. Maybe it's the councilor, not the rules girls.

I asked Nicholas " Can I have one of our weekends in January to go where she is?" "No, wait." "Why, so she can get her shit more together?" "Yes, exactly, go in the spring like you said you were, that I can sign off on, not before." One last time, best I can figure right now about three hours from Louisville. I'm going to come and camp at your door till I see you this time. Something tells me you want to see me so I will make it happen. And Im getting the address so I can send you your Christmas gift. I said I would do whatever it takes and I will. One more trip. Frustrated that we couldn't at least pull off the civil ceremony this year, long as it happens is all that really matters to me.You want your knight in shining armour? You want to actually see him this time? That's how you want this to end? Then that's exactly what's going to happen.

Love you always dollbaby.

Your future husband.

Andrew.

 

"Watch her walk"