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 I sent to mom a couple of hours ago...

Didn't want to say to much at the Sunday Diner table about it.

Dianne Lee took our money when we entered the fair. Just Nicholas and I. Later we were at the stage where the bands play and Ryder (Christians little one) was running around. I saw Dianne sitting over in the corner. I don't know if she saw us or not, didn't really care at that point, I was doing what I came to do, have a good time with Christians boys which I did. Funny how nobody ever sees that side of me, not to many anyway.

Behind Dianne in the money taking line was April Bryant of all people. She literally saw our truck coming and turned around so as to not have to face us. Whatever, I know how this place works by now. I am sure April knows how I feel about what she did, it was that obvious. Later, Her and Michael walked by. Michael nodded and I nodded back.

But between school and church? Well? It's been hard the last few weeks to say the least. Trying to make my peace with things. I'm getting there...slowly...at my own pace. It's not easy to process. At least I am not the person I was four of five years ago. If that was the case things would have gotten even worse by now. Be happy about that! See? Progress!

I'll do what I always do, the only thing I know to do for people who go out of their way to intentionally wrong us, I pray for them. I just don't know what else you can do for them. It's obvious by their actions they need way more help than us. What in the world would make somebody act like that is beyond me.

I just do not feel welcome here anymore. You, Al, Christian, Fawn and her mom, and Dave when he is not with Laura. That's it.

Nicholas and I will just have to pay a high price for being ourselves. It's just the way it is. I'm used to it lol. (How couldn't I be by this point? lol). I think he is starting to get used to it as well.

But to have those two teachers come at Nicholas? For no good reason other than he is different than how they expect a student\young man to be? It's ridiculous. No parent should have to feel the way I did that day, defending a "B" in an advance class and a 91 in the same subject matter on his pre-military exam.

Just venting here really, like I said, church and school back to back were big blows. When Nicholas is gone? I probably won't be far behind.

Remember when it was me and Joanna? And I said I didn't wanna live in Hancock County? Now you see why. Small towns are great, if that's where you are from. Not that many people move here and stay. Well I wonder why? I've always felt like, "Why in the world should I care what people in lil old Hancock County Kentucky think about me\us?" The fact is I didn't, I don't and I won't and people around here just don't like that. Oh well, tough, It's the way I've been all my life, whats a few more years? Seems to me like there are plenty of better places to be with more to do, it served it's purpose, it got us this far.

I just will never see this community the same way I did before those two incidents happened (Church, school). They truly were defining moments for me. I see evil here. I see bigotry and hatred and racism against anything "different" or out of the norm. Well...that's us lol, it's who and how we are.

I'm not bitter or angry, This is the price one pays for being true to ones self. But I really just don't wanna be here anymore. I've had enough. Seems like there would be some like-minded people out there somewhere to join forces with :-).

Side Note:

Why did Al ask if Chad was married Sunday? I thought that was a lil odd. That, and telling me he needs to find me a day job? Trust me, if there were day jobs in my field that pay what I am making now? I would have already been gone. 9-5 isn't everything to a lot of people, myself included. Worked odd hours most my life, you get used to it, come to like it. Anyway, It seemed a lil strange when he was saying those things.

Just needed to vent. Thanks for listening, love you.