I

love you Virgie and I'm never going to leave or I would have done so already.

I hate being how I was yesterday but I just get so fed up with things.

It's seems to be the only way I can get your attention and I hate it.

I know things are only like they are now because you know I'll make it and it's good theater and a good story but thats whats so frustrating, the fact that things didn't have to be like this.

There's just no way in the world I want someone else.

There's just not.

I decided a long time ago, "her, or no one." 

I mean I knew no one else was ever gonna do.

I remember going to see Bonnie Raitt at the Grand Old Opry with a friend of mine that lives outside of Nashville. I remember the whole day thinking, "This isn't right, it's not fair to her or me." She liked me a lot and she made it pretty obvious but I just really wasn't interested. (Kinda like you in the beginning lol) Only we had known each other for years and I knew there just wasn't anything there, at least for me there wasn't. Imagine spending your whole day with someone and wishing they were someone else, it kinda sucked to be honest. I'm sure it wasn't any fun for her either as by the end of the evening she probably knew nothing was ever going to happen between us.

My point is, I knew then, better to just keep loving you and nothing ever happen with us than to be with anybody else and just be wishing they were you.

I mean it just doesn't make sense to make two people miserable right?

Why do that to someone?

Better to be on your own and wishing you were with a certain someone than to be with someone you wish was someone else.

Anyway, when Bonnie Raitt and John Prine did "Angel from Montgomery" it about brought me to tears, particularly the line:

"If dreams were thunder

lightning was desire

this old house

would have burned down

a long time ago"

Because I looked over at my friend and she wasn't you.

Love you.