You

 

know...

at first when I read this I was like that's so cool...

(That phrase ought to ring a  bell :-)

But now upon further reading?

I'd like to offer my translation:

Blah , blah, blah...

My ass just got cold busted again 

and I'm trying to spin things in as much of a positive manner as I can :-).

Hey...Minions...Listen up

This woman has been flat out stalking me for close to a decade now :-).

In a parking garage, in the lobby where we used to work...through surrogates and proxies including friends, co workers and relatives...She's been flat out busted three times right here...Like I didn't know whose skinny wrist that was opening the door that day for BoBo to go go outside... "two strips, three tenders" :-) and now going to great lengths to disguise herself etc :-). 

Yall killing me honey, seriously :-).

Any particular reason I got 5 gallons of gas in my truck these days? :-). It's running fine FYI :-).

I mean as far as my truck goes its running fine :-).

Ya know? If you got all that time to sit around and dream up such elaborate schemes with getting in costume and everything?

Seems like you could drop off a boy some chicken fajitas and some guacamole dip :-).

I love you baby. You're the greatest. Thanks so much for everything.

Be awesome today :-). I know you will be. How can you not be? You're you. .