I just love it...

"And if your heart is beating free
For the very first time it'll be alright"

I promise...it will be.

741 page views...WOW...

741 page views...WOW...

Don't it...

Don't it just blow your mind? Aint it great? Don't you love it?

"Only those who are ravaged by Love know Love,
The sun alone unveils the sun to those who have
The sense to receive the senseless and not turn away.

Cavernous shadows need the light to play but light
And light alone can lead you to the light alone."

When?...

When? When do I get to taste those sweet honey lips? When do I get to know I and I alone will be the only one to kiss those lips? Why you gotta torture a boy? What more I gotta prove to you Lucy?

Just to know...

Just to know that I am going to hear that sweet voice calling me honey and babe for the rest of my life...I will be happy all of my days...If only I could know for certain...

Nine views?

Nine views? I know way better than that sweetheart...

631?...

631 pageviews in one day? What is going on with you?

Rumi...

Rumi followed closely by John Lee...who else?

JLH birthday today...

"Boom boom boom boom
I'm gonna shoot you right down,
Right offa your feet
Take you home with me,
Put you in my house
Boom boom boom boom
A-haw haw haw haw
Hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm

I love to see you strut,
Up and down the floor
When you talking to me,
That's baby talk
I like it like that
Whoa, yeah!
Talk that talk, walk that walk

When she walk that walk,
And talk that talk,
And whisper in my ear,
Tell me that you love me
I love that talk
When you talk like that,
You knocks me out,
Right off of my feet
Hoo hoo hoo
Talk that talk, and walk that walk"

Back to...

Back to threes and fours? Come on sweetie...You can do it!

Rumi

Love is longing and longing, the pain of being parted;
No illness is rich enough for the distress of the heart,
A lover's lament surpasses all other cries of pain.

Love is the royal threshold to God's mystery.
The carnival of small affections and polite attachments
Which litter and consume our passing time
Is no match to Love which pulses behind this play.

It's easy to talk endlessly about Love,
To live Love is to be seized by joy and bewilderment;

Love is not clear-minded, busy with images and argument.
Language is too precocious, too impudent, too sane
To stop the molten lava of Love which churns the blood,

This practicing energy burns the tongue to silence;
The knowing pen is disabled, servile paper

Shrivels in the fire of Love. Bald reason too is an ass
Explaining Love, deceived by spoilt lucidity.
Love is dangerous offering no consolation,

Only those who are ravaged by Love know Love,
The sun alone unveils the sun to those who have
The sense to receive the senseless and not turn away.

Cavernous shadows need the light to play but light
And light alone can lead you to the light alone.

Material shadows weigh down your vision with dross,
But the rising sun splits the ashen moon in empty half.

The outer sun is our daily miracle in timely
Birth and death, the inner sun
Dazzles the inner eye in a timeless space.

Our daily sun is but a working star in a galaxy of stars,
Our inner sun is One, the dancing nuance of eternal light.

You must be set alight by the inner sun,
You have to live your Love or else
You'll only end in words.

View this...

View this post 100 times if your madly in love with me and wanna be my wife, wanna come live a quiet life in the country, have a garden with me, wear a sundress (and only a sundress) while dancing around to the grateful dead for me in the yard, wanna pay of the house (with your name on the deed within a few days of you coming) as soon as we can, wanna buy kayaks to go fishing in, wanna go to concerts, go to New Orleans Jazz Fest, go to Beale Street in Memphis, go to Nashville for a weekend, go to Tampa Bay Blues Fest, go to Cedar Point, wanna buy solar panels, wanna go camping, wanna take naps in the hammock with me, wanna have fires at night just the two of us, want me to cook for you, make your coffee in the AM for you, wanna watch sunsets from our porch in our swing, go for rides, wanna go to worship with me, wanna make love in the rain on the trampoline, are ready to go places and do things you just never ever thought you would want to...can a brother get an amen?...Love you Lucy...you funny, you still not foolin anybody...gonna put adsense on here before long if these pageviews keep growing like they are..565 pageviews...you know how that makes me feel? :-)...I wanna marry you dollbady been telling you for a year now, or almost a year anyway...

Nich thinks...

Nich thinks your having an affair with the F5 button...land I though your heart was all mine...lol

365...

365 pageviews...who all you got watchin this thing? lol. I really don't care...I already made myself a big enough fool for you...what makes you think I will ever quit at this point?

You're something...

You're something...lol

The package...

The package...was the DMB tickets that we can't go to :-(...Figures...lol...Love you...diggin the pageviews...your amazing...so when Lucy? When I get to see or talk to you?,,,Come on babygirl...

:-)...

300...

300+ pageviews amazing...

A lil over a year ago...

A lil over a year ago I would have said this is just nonsense...not these days.

I...

"I...I could be king...and you?.., you could be my queen..."

Love you...

Love you Lucy...

Tired Lucy...

Love you...like i'm really gonna sleep...night sweetheart...if Ican't sleep ill be in and out...peace.

Fedex...

Fedex Door Tag is on the door...

I'm a...

I'm a nervous wreck...big bad me...knock on the door at Cookville, no problem, go to a family gathering on a Holiday weekend in Baxter and you have already moved...go to your mom's in Albany and knock on the door, no big deal...but wait for a package? I'm terrified...

You know...

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

If I am breathing...

If I am breathing I am thinking of you...but I am thinking back to that talk with the guidance councilor...my head is spinning and I can not breathe...let a boy catch his breath Lucy...

Are...

Are you sure?

So...

So I should get the package then?

Chillin...

Havin that third day off Friday has put me in a very relaxed mode as I have an extra day for bills, laundry etc...Feels nice...no patch Friday, no Louisville till sat :-)...hangin with nich...gonna BBQ some chicken in a bit... Fedex been here the last two days, they want a signature for a package? I didn't order anything, nor did Nich...Probably pictures of you and John flipping me off telling me to go away is my guess...Seriously I don't know if I should leave my signature on the form so they drop it off or not...You know anything about this? What would you do Lucy?...Be back later...Peace...

Rumi

Words are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to another, not words.

Is it...

Is it you Lucy? Is it really you? How much longer you gonna keep me in suspense? Be easy on a boys heart now...he done been through a lot...

:-)...Night.

:-)...Night.

You up?

Home safe and sound...

Wrapping up...

Love you, night.

Decorate it...

Decorate it however you want...I really don't care...paint our bedroom purple and gold...don't really matter...Nicholas has absolutely no say here as he lives upstairs and will be gone soon anyway...put your touches on it so that it feels like yours because soon it will be sweetheart...promise.

All it takes...

All it takes, is you saying, yes, this is what I have decided I want, and then a job in Evansville...No more moving ever agian...You will move into the home you will grow old in...promise.

Warriors of the light...

:-)...If you only knew...

:-)...If you only knew...we would already be together.

Guess so...

Still with me sweetheart?

Got to go brew some...always have a cup or two this time of AM if I'm riding home...Don't drink it if I'm in the truck...

Who else...

Who else ever gonna give you the greatest argument you ever heard agianst atheism and David Bowie "Heros" live within hours of each other?...let's see here...Your future husband that's who...aint nobody else ever gonna blow your mind like me sweetheart...Don't ever think I don't know it.

Heros..

I could write a book on this one, I guarantee you I could...Gets me fired up these days when I think about fighting for Nicholas..."We could beat them forever and ever". The slow build up, the droning guitar that just sounds fabulous...Like the guy or not he has a great voice and is a fantastic performer...'I would be king...and you...you would be my queen" reminds me of you and me..."We can be Heros, just for one day"...I remember reading an interview with Springsteen where he said he thought it was odd how songs changed could their meaning over the years to him as a performer even though the lyrics never changed, mostly based on life circumstances and the like...I was like "Dude! that's true for the audience as well"...So it is with this song...it's changed it's meaning many times for me through the years...Right now it's an anthem about fighting for him... Your  beautiful, I love you...peace.

When we slow dancing...for the rest of our lives sweetheart? When?

Long ...but nice build to the climax...I love Chris Robinson...my alter ego...if I had hair...lol.

Backups coming...

'Dizzy found me last night
Saw some kind of new light
I woke up in a whirlwind
Just you watch my head spin
The spectacle that made you cry
It's a thrill a minute plane ride
It's over time at ring side, no lie..."

Do you...

Do you really love me Lucy? Is this really what you want? Know what's going to happen? You're gonna be all ready to go one day and show me you've made up your mind and that you're serious and we are going to do this...and then I'll be the one shaking in my shoes lol...I'll be like "Oh shit, I caught the prize, what the hell do I do now? I was so worried about chasing her and catching her I forgot to even think what to do when I caught her"...

nah, not really, well maybe a lil, but this comes to easy and natural for me, it's how I know it's right...so when I catch you? I'll just keep doing what I've been doing...It just seems like what I am supposed to do...who am I to argue?

Lots of people gonna be jealous of our lives and our love, it won't be easy, but I have no doubt, we will be fine...absolutely none...

Goodness...I can here the guys that know nothing of this story already..."some guys have all the luck"...and my response? and the people who know me know it's true..."I asure you, luck had nothing to do with it..."

Just sayin...

There aint no keeping these, or giving these back, it's why I like it, it's why I want it...and yes I will remind you from time to time...

 



I wish...

I wish I knew it was really you Lucy...but somebody with the Google+ ID of Virgie Tidmore is 1+ing theses post, and that feels much better than just talking to the wind...I don't care if you are sharing them with your friends..I'm ready for all the world to know how much I love you, have been for a while now...share away sweetheart...

Psalm 37:4

Love the ride...

Love the ride home in the morning...Getting out of the city, being home...Kenny gave me my Friday off so I could go to the football game and see Nicholas first band performance :-), he is going to be a happy boy...he is really not expecting me to be there...

First time I ever missed a patch night I was scheduled to work...Oh well. three and a half years and only missed three days of work ever, two of those being due to the weather and living 90 miles away, it ought to get me something in return...I text Adam and let him know what was coming so he was aware before Kenny even called him that he would be filling in...cause you know...that's the kind of guy I am and such...lol

It's just mind numbing...

DMB...It's like being on a different planet for three and a half, four hours...I just can't even begin to explain...

That's what...

That's what I like about you...you don't take offense when I share something sexual with you...I never try to be crude, I promise you I could be, very much so if I wanted...but I just can't be like that with you, you deserve more respect than that...What I do like to do however, is paint images in your mind of times, places and settings of how things can be between us...That is very enjoyable for me to do and you've been very receptive to it...it's appreciated...I hope I never step out of bounds into trashy, but at the same time I want you to know in no uncertian terms that I am a man, and that I hunger for you, and it's natural, well intentioned, wants to be fullfilled within the context of marriage etc...

Sorry...

It's just to funny not to post...hope you don't spit out your drink all over yourself...

 

 

Well...

You know if I ever had an address somebody might get some someday...but till then...well I guess these will have to do...

Awesome...

Love that 1+...yes I do...

"Time, space, energy and matter all just came into exhistance all on their own, just decided one day out of the blue they were going to exhist and created themselves out of nothingness?...Wow, people really buy into that?" One of my favoriate sayings...

Let me know your Lucy would ya Lucy?

Are you still...

Are you still with us Lucy? Or did I loose ya? 1+ this post if your still onboard with us and think you can handle it...we're a package deal, at least for a few years sweetheart. I really think with all you've been through, you would be a great asset for him...I honestly believe that with all my heart..with you in the picture he will have another positive voice in the equation, telling him to chase his dreams, never give up...and in all likelihood? a lil bit more of a comforting and nurturing side as well...Love ya Lucy...if this is really you I'm talking to...cause you know, I still don't really know who is 1+ ing these post and all...but I gotta pretty good hunch...

Both of us...

Both of us encouraging him? He will be flatout unstoppable...

Nicholas...

Nicholas Game Plan

 

 

He walks in his room the other day and this conversation was like it was with a 25 year old.

 

"I know where I want to be." "Where is that?" "Something happened to me when we went to NewYork, I've just never gotten over it, I've always wanted to go back". (He went to New York City for a week with his Gifted and Talented group when he was in sixth grade). "Okay so what are you saying?" "I want to live in New York when I get older. Something inside me changed when we went there, I haven't been the same since and I know it's where I want to be. I remember standing in Times Square and it just hit me, this is where it's at" "Your heart knows where it should be, it will find it's own way to it's home someday. So what is your plan?" "Okay I want to get my associates degree at OCC (Owensboro Community College 24 miles away), then join the Navy and do IT work for them while traveling and seeing the world, finish my bachelor's degree in Hardware and Software Engineering while at sea, then set out to work in New York." "Well, if your gonna do it just do it, there will never be the perfect time or enough money saved up, when you go, just go, make it work, and if you gotta scrub toilets or cook, or wait tables and live in a flat with 10 other people, just go make it happen for yourself, I know if it's truly what you want, you will make it happen". This next part of the conversation is what really really struck home to me and proved to me he is serious about this as very few 14 year olds (11 years old at the time it happened) would ever think like this. "I remember sitting on the bus going to all the touristy things we were doing and I remember looking around at all the people, and the Greek thing over here and the ethiopian thing over there and the itilain restaurant over there, and the chineses thing over there and I thought, "Why are we here on this bus doing this touristy crap?" I wanna be out there on the street where the action is with all the people." He went onto say, "I remember looking around and thinking there's the mass transit terminals for the trains and the subways, I'll have to get very fimiliar with those, that way I wont need a car to get around..." At 11 years old he was thinking like this...his peers laugh at his dreams, they are caught up in all the high school drama nonsense, he is so above all that... and while it hurts sometimes to be different and to chart one's own path, he knows in the long run he will be much better for it...I got a feeling he will be the one laughing before long...and if it doesn't turn out like he planned? Well, better to have a plan and try your hardest to make it work than  to just drift through life aimlessly I say...Oh, and his charting his own path? Yeah, that kind of reminds me of you Lucy...Love you...peace...

Okay...

Okay so you won't 1+ every little thing I put on here, nice to know lol.

Some things you should know about us. You said you wanted someone that wasn't afraid to share everything with you, you wanted someone to be "an open book" so here goes.

We don't keep a whole lot of close friends in our little community. We are way "to much" for a lot of people in lil old Hancock County to grasp. It's just the truth. I have four or five really close friends and I would just as soon keep it that away. People at church are supportive, but for the most part they do not understand us in the least...Oh well, when we need support certian ones have always been there for us in prayer, a phone call, a visit to the house and that's all that's really needed or matters.

You said be an open book, so I am and if you run? Well you run. Not like you haven't been already lol. You might want to brush up on logiacl fallacies before you ever come around Nicholas. He likes to believe he is an atheist. Personally, I think to struggle with faith at his age shows a maturity that will benefit him greatly later on in life. But that is my oppion.

Sample conversations in our home:
Me: "What do you know about the Big Bang theory?"
Nich: "There was a sub-atomic particle that exploded"
Me:"But it's a theory, it hasn't been proven, right?"
Nich: "Well, yeah..."
Me: "So your choosing to believe in something you can't prove?"
Nich: "I guess yeah..."
Me: "How is your choosing to believe in something you can't prove any different from people of faith (I never say Christian in these matters, always "people of faith") choosing to believe in something they can't prove? (and honestly, I don't feel the need to prove, as I know it to be true from personal experience.)

Months later:

Me: "I just wanna know where the subatomic particle came from and what caused it to explode." (talking about the Big Bang Theory).
Nich: "We don't know yet."
Me: "I don't think we ever will and that's just the way it works."
Nich: "You don't know that."
Me: "Neither do you."

See how both arguments are equally valid? Which to me seems to be the way our creator intended it to be. He gave us free will you know? He did not force us to believe, he gave us that option.

These conversations are not mean-spirited, just good natured intellectual banter back and forth. Only thing is sometimes he wants to discuss things like this and I am tired or just not in the mood for such heavy intellectual conversations and he doesn't understand that. He's 14, he doesn't get that most people are worried about jobs or putting food on the table for their families and don't have the luxury of comptemplating lifes mysteries all day long as he can. I'm just telling you to be ready, he's very sharp with well thought out posistions on most subjects and he will test you. He will love you like a sister as long as you show him love, patience, support and respect, but he will test to see where you stand and how you well you can defend your beliefs.

Just thought you might want to know what you may be deciding to walk into lol. One thing is for certian, it's never boaring at our house lol. Anyway, I've got four to six more years to be with the boy and then he is off to conquer the world...he has a great game plan actually...more on that in the next post...

You sure you can handle us Lucy? I mean are you sure beyond any doubt? I just want you to know how things are...being that "open book" you wanted, sharing it all sweetheart...

Love you girl...

I thought you wanted

I thought you wanted to play Lucy...Don't mean to make you cry sweetheart...Just asking questions and speaking truth that's all...

176...

176 pageview total the last 24 hours ...WOW...should I be the one being scared Lucy? Who is chasin' who here? That's a page view every eight minutes...You got friends helping you Lucy? lol Are they jealous?

I will love, support, encourage and protect you all of my days...I have proven I will...Being a good dad and loving and protecting you...this is my calling in life, promise.

Are you...

Are you just going to 1+ everything I put on here from now on? lol...If you have kept every lil scrap of anything and everything I have ever sent you where in the world do you have room for it all? You got some dedicated server to our love knucklehead? :-). I would'nt doubt it...it should have one...this is one for the ages my love...yes indeed...

Great...

Great, good to know...

Are you there Lucy?

Are you there Lucy? Is it really you sweetheart? When will you let me know for sure? Please let it be soon...oh lord, please let it be soon...You ready to "play" some more tonight? Funny how there aren't any page views till I get up and get started on here...Like I don't know who it is at this point...Love ya girl...

I love you...going to bed...peace.

Yeah...A new record...WooHoo!!

One more...

Two more :-)...

Miscounted...need 7 more...

7 more

8 more

9 more...

11 more beats the all time record...

Cryin...

Cryin yet?

If...

"If I only knew she wanted to be my wife, I Could die a happy man."

I knew...

I knew "John" was bull shit...you take me by suprise sometimes...then it takes me a lil bit to catch up...but I was like wait a minute, this just aint adding up...It just never made sense...

:-)...

:-)...winding down...shift is almost over...starting to feel like I am not talking to a ghost anymore...I like it...

Yeah...Woo Hoo!!

One more...

Two more...

7 more...

Nine more...

Nine more page views and you'll beat yesterdays total... :-).

I honestly believe...

I honestly believe it is who I think it is...but I need to know for certain this time...I just want that first all night phone call...more than anything that's what I want in the near future...and yes I will say "Whats up Kitty Cat?" when you call...

Love you...

Love you...get some sleep...figure out a way to prove to me who you are...then I'll really be speachless...night...

How...

How do I know you are who I think you to be? You could be anyone that's shared out their username and password, sharing accounts, just like e-mails with "Tina"...playing with my heart all over agian...kind of like the boy that cried wolf...How do I know you're Lucy?...Oh be still my beating heart...

Talk is...

Talk is cheap...I've heard a lot before but not really seen that much...easy to be like guys at work and hide behind text, email, fake profiles, etc...It's why I drove to Cookeville, to Baxter, to Albany...I wasn't content to tell you...I wanted to show you.

Got sites down...BRB...

I hope...

I hope your not pulling my leg Lucy...We've gotten close before only to have things blow up...You still just giving me a hard time dollbabay?

I wanna...

I wanna see you...and soon...

Wow...

Wow...I'm speachless...I've been yappin' at you for a year...for the first time I really don't know what to say...wow...wow...we really gonna do this Lucy? We really gonna make it work? I'm all in if you are...excuse me...I'm a bird if your a bird...

One plus

One plus this post if you know beyond a shadow of a doubt you want to be my wife and live a quiet peacefull life in the country...

Still waiting...

Still waiting on that five Lucy..."Hey Lucy, I'm home..." I can't wait to say it...I might walk outside and then come back in just so I can have another chance to say it...I Love it...

Told you...

Told you I would make this blog a shrine to our love...

Do you ever sleep?

Well I would everytime I got the chance if somebody would get off their hands and do something about it...lol

So...

So I just wanna make sure I got this right...You know I am posting these to your google+ account...and you know that I am seeing you 1+ them...yet we still aren't talking? Okay Lucy...you're the one always been driving this train...lol

That's what I thought...

That's what I thought...What did somebody say once? Something about an inside joke builds intamacy?

You know...

You know I'm seeing you 1+ these right?...

Yep...

Mia: Don't you hate that?
Vincent: What?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question.
Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.