That shit be the truth...

 

 

"Just woke up from my nap.

Didn't get one yesterday.

Hurt to much to sleep."

 

Then we proceeded to fight for four hours.

I hate talking to someone and they don't respond or even acknowledge me in any way shape or form.

Sets me the ever livin fuck off.

Especially a 15 year that old I provide for.

I put him in his place.

He broke down in tears.

Tough.

 

If he wouldn't have disrespected me it wouldn't have happened.

Needs to be understood.

Many long talks this weekend about work ethic and how others will always be smarted than you but being out worked by others is a choice you consciously make.

I won't have it.

Neither would my dad.

Or his father before him.

Not just disrespecting me but your whole family is the way I see it.

Nobody in that NOC outworks me.

Nobody ever.

Not from the moment I became competent enough to be in charge of my shift.

Call James.

Ask him.

Others may work as hard, but nobody works harder.

Ever.

Period.

I just won't ever let it happen.

This shit is straight from his momma.

Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow might as well had been her motto.

Drove me nuts.

I am just going to keep telling him over and over and over that he will be provided: clothes, shelter, food and love but anything else is a blessing and he should be a lil more appreciative of it or it will bite him in the ass one day.

 

He lives in a world of theory not reality.

He thinks he can tell others how their lives should be lived.

I told him that attitude was foolishness comin from a 15 year old that has never worked a day in his life.

I told him after we buy his new gaming computer (we need $600, between us we are at $410 so we are close) that was it. No more consoles, no more computers, not from me, ever, done, tired of listening to all the bitching and always needing, there is shit I want and I am the one working so I'm gonna do for me sometimes get the fuck up over yourself.

 

Something like that anyway lol.

He has done more and been to more places than I had been when I was 35 years old.

I'm gonna feel guilty?

Baahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Oh son, that's a good one.

Let me tell ya something so you get it in no uncertain terms, NO I WON'!

Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Period.

Wanna get your drivers lic? Then get a job and pay the insurance and gas I'm not doing it, plenty of others managed to do so, it didn't seem to kill them, it won't kill you either.

I am one person, I have managed to be both parents and work full time for over 12 years.

I'm exhausted.

Enough.

 

I'm not going to listen to a 15 year old complain about shit all the damn time when the fact of the matter is I am the one doing all the work, earning all the money and taking care of things around the house.

It's insane.

 

He has a nicer TV than I do (I could do without one actually but that's beside the point), a nicer computer than I do (it's not good enough, he needs a newer one even though he was the one that matched up the specs he wanted) and nicer clothes than I do and all I get is to listen to him run his fat mouth and complain?

Bitch please.

 

He got blasted, big time, put right in his place.

He needed it, so he got it.

I told him I had five trips already planned out on the bike and that he needed to help not just granny and grandpa but me as well whip this yard into shape come spring time cause I am riding.

I'm older it's not as easy for me to do things, he is an able-bodied 15 year old male.

 

Time to step up.

I have no doubt he will.

He always does.

Just don't feel like I should have to drag him kicking and screaming to do so.

We're good now.

Bout fucking time.

 

He's in bed.

No school.

Hopefully they declare a state of emergency and I won't go to work then.

Maybe not even if they don't.

Worn out emotionally, intellectually and physically like I haven't been in a long time.

That quote from Louis CK about kids being a endless mind-fuck and none of them ever say "Oh, OK thanks, I get it now,"

That shit be the truth.

 

I'm just not going to bust my balls to provide for someone better than I provide for myself and then listen to them complain about it all the fucking time.

The ex-girlfriend did it, the ex-wife did it.

Put up with it my whole life basically.

Somewhere about three years ago I said "No more. Ever. From anyone."

I think It's why it strikes such a cord with me from him.

You want your shit?

Go get it.

Ain't up to me no more.

Warm place to sleep, clothes, food, love.

Everything else?

Blessings.

Threw the "How can you be happier with more when you're not happy with what you have?" argument at him.

I could tell his gears quit meshing at that point.

Followed it up with the

"Do not be conformed to this world..."argument.

It's all shit.

It all goes away.

The love between us is all that stays or matters.

I love it.

 

He is very intelligent.

But I got him on the wisdom part cause I been through all he has and then some.

He knows it.

 

On top of everything Moose passed away today.

Christian had Moose when he was six years old.

He was just a good old horse.

Friendly.

Let you or kids feed him apples and pet him.

He has been here since we moved in.

He was 30 years old.

Sucks.

Sucks for Christian and for all of us.

He used to eat the tops of fence post lol.

Seriously, he had a fence post in each pasture that he liked to chew on.

 I would pull the shade up in the kitchen and many a time Moose would be standing right there eating the top of his fence post lol.

No more.

:-(.

 

Least he is not suffering out in the cold.

Christian wanted Moose to be the first horse his kids rode.

Feel sorry for them.

Jr is old enough to remember.

 

I think I told you the story of us meeting Christian?

Right after we had moved in

I looked out the window and he was riding a horse across the pond?

Bareback, no reins, nothin.

Horse almost threw him off when he rared back.

Christian grabbed the horses mien to stay on him.

I told Nicholas "Come look at this idiot trying to ride this horse across the pond bareback."

Afterwards we went and spoke to him.

Anyway...that was Moose that day.

 

It's been a busy day around here Lucy.

A sad day.

An intense day.

I finally get to relax now.

Wasn't the case yesterday.

Or this afternoon waking up from the nap.

 

It's all quiet now.

Just the wintery mix hitting the windows lol. 

Looks like yall had ice down your way as well.

I also told Nich after everything had calmed down.

"You do understand that I am going to marry her and we are going to move to Tennessee don't you?

"If she ever gets her shit together." he says.

Not "Your crazy, or "who".

Like he don't already know...please :-).

Love you sweetheart.

Could have used a lil help around here today.

That's why you didn't hear from me much.

 

Somehow...

 

I think you already knew a lot of this...

 

xoxox's...