He

will be fine.

We talked.

He is 15.

Thats his main fucking problem.

Well...that and we all know it's the problem and he don't, that's another part of the problem.

He will be fine.

Told him I would get him the head phones Friday.

I know how disappointed he was.

He has taken all the responsibility for it.

Good man Charlie Brown.

He was just so proud of them.

$50, better audio quality that Beats.

He did good to fine them.

First for $140 and then finally for $50.

He was proud to have found something better and cheaper than what everyone else is using.

I was proud of him too.

I think granny and grandpa were too.

If he wasn't so proud I wouldn't have offered.

That and the fact that he maned up on his part and admitted he was what caused it all to start with.

Laughing at himself calling himself an idiot.

We talked about leaving.

About missing Granny and Grandpa.

He said his emotional health wasn't dependent on them as much as people might think.

I think its way more than he will ever realize till we're gone.

Talked about me being pulled in 90 different directions.

Talked about a core group of 10 or so people.

That when they want me somewhere with them I feel obligated.

Cause the day is coming and I don't know when I'll ever see them again.

That after a year or so people can come visit.

The ones that act all "Golly-gee-wilikers I just can't believe this"?

They probably won't be coming around much.

Thats not me.

Thats just the way it works.

If you're not comfortable you just won't visit much.

Their loss.

I really don't care how it plays out for them.

Thats for them to figure out.

I just want us three together havin a good time together, family...

Things were fucking with me when I was like:

 "Why is this happen to me?" 

Nicholas was like "It could be worse."

"Ya think? lol"

Now that I am starting to think: "Why not me?" It's becoming a lot easier to deal with. 

We will be fine.

Promise.

Alan came over today.

Listened to some of Dwight's new record.

Then, right when I was getting ready to take a nap Christian calls.

Fawn and Jason comin over.

I don't see Jason much.

Great guy.

So it was all of us.

Except Nich.

I should have reminded him about not seeing these guys much longer.

I forgot.

All the kids were there...Alyssa, Rusty, JR, Ryder...

After three or four beers and the best episode of Sponge Bob I've seen in three or four years and I just didn't wanna be around the kids...

Went home lol...

Passed out for about two hours...

No food.

Don't wanna cook.

Crappy ass McDonald's.

Shut up!

Lol.

At least I went grocery shopping with a full belly.

HA!

Gotcha on that one.

Came home.

Put up groceries.

He's takin out trash.

Then the great Headphone fiasco that started all this in the first place.

I just told him after we worked in the kitchen "Im going to go relax and then I want some privacy, just because I want time to myself doesn't mean I don't want time with you, it just means I need some time to myself."

"I know dad".

""Okay..."

Then we talk another 45 minutes, a hug and he goes upstairs and I am finally, with three more hours of my weekend to go...at the place I finally wanted to be...

Love you...