And God said “Love Your Enemy,” and I obeyed him and loved myself.
Thursday, June 30, 2016
Wednesday, June 29, 2016
So
I go to our county's public library the other day.
I went to check out some movies for me and Christian and Haile to watch after the boys have went to bed.
Christian canceled his satellite service for a while so he can sign up as a new customer in a bit and get a better deal.
I haven't had TV for three out of the past four years.
Christian put up a pretty decent antenna that pulls some local channels, PBS etc.
But still, after a while?
Kinda wanna watch something different even if you've seen it 100 times already.
So, the library beats driving across the river to a redbox location plus it's free.
Pretty decent selection as well.
Anyway, off to the library.
I thought, hey, I'll get a book for myself to read as well.
I don't even know why this title popped into my head but it did.
So I go in.
Keep in mind I've provided basic computer and some office classes to some of the current Library staff so they know me.
Me: "I'd like to see if you can get a book through the interlibrary loan program for me please."
Staff member: "Have you checked our website? We might have it here."
Me: "I really don't think you're gonna have it."
Staff member: "Well you never know, you might wanna try and see. What's the name of the book?"
Me: "Psychotic re..."
Staff member: "Yeah we're probably not gonna have it."
Me: "Wait till you here the whole title, 'Psychotic reactions and carburetor dung."
Staff member: "Let me see what I can find, we will let you know one way or another if we can get it or not."
Me: "Psychotic re..."
Staff member: "Yeah we're not gonna have it."
Priceless
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
"The
bars could not hold me
Force could not control me
They tried to keep me down
But Jah put I around
Yes I've been accused, many times
And wrongly abused now
But through the powers of the Most-I
They've got to turn me loose"
"In
high seas or in low seas
I'm gonna be your friend,
I'm gonna be your friend.
In high tide or in low tide,
I'll be by your side,
I'll be by your side."
Adventures
with Ricky lol.
Been driving this beast around the last few days.
Me "How many tons this thing hold?"
Ricky "Oh it's way over loaded.", said with that shit eating grin.
Priceless.
Of course it's way overloaded.
Why wouldn't it be way overloaded?
Of course we ran out of gas in the field.
Why wouldn't we run out of gas in the field on our last run?
Life is an adventure to be lived I say.
From
Adam and Elizabeth's wedding
“I'll be looking for you, Will, every moment, every single moment. And when we do find each other again, we'll cling together so tight that nothing and no one'll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you... We'll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams... And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they wont' just be able to take one, they'll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we'll be joined so tight...”
― Philip Pullman, His Dark Materials Trilogy:
The Golden Compass / The Subtle Knife / The Amber Spyglass
I know the feeling.
Love you.
Monday, June 27, 2016
While
were on the subject of well analogies lol.
I know, way random, go figure.
"everyday the bucket goes to the well, one day the bottom will fall out, one day the bottom will drop out..."
Kinda like last Saturday I suppose.
Love ya Bambi.
Notice
"Jobs I had in my lifetime that paid me what I was worth? 0"
I didn't say I didn't ever have good paying jobs.
I did from time to time.
But they always paid me less than the value of the performance I was delivering.
Every one.
Every time.
Across industries.
Nich is right.
It's like theft.
No thanks.
Not anymore.
Had enough.
Sunday, June 26, 2016
You know?
The lord will make away somehow, that's true.
It don't hurt to have the baddest coolrockin mamajama ever to be your guardian angel either:-).
Okay, seriously, gotta get.
Love you,
We
sang three out of those four today.
Not really that hard to figure out which three :-).
Again, see why I go to New Chapel?
Been like this with me there from day one every Sunday with only a few exceptions .
"Just
as I am, though tossed about
with many a conflict, many a doubt,
fightings and fears within, without,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.
Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind;
sight, riches, healing of the mind,
yea, all I need in thee to find,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come."
"What
a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he'll take and shield thee;
thou wilt find a solace there."
"Standing
on the promises of Christ my King,
through eternal ages let his praises ring;
glory in the highest, I will shout and sing,
standing on the promises of God.
Standing, standing,
standing on the promises of Christ my Savior;
standing, standing,
I'm standing on the promises of God.
Standing on the promises that cannot fail,
when the howling storms of doubt and fear assail,
by the living Word of God I shall prevail,
standing on the promises of God.
Standing, standing,
standing on the promises of Christ my Savior;
standing, standing,
I'm standing on the promises of God.
Standing on the promises of Christ the Lord,
bound to him eternally by love's strong cord,
overcoming daily with the Spirit's sword,
standing on the promises of God.
Standing, standing,
standing on the promises of Christ my Savior;
standing, standing,
I'm standing on the promises of God.
Standing on the promises I cannot fall,
listening every moment to the Spirit's call,
resting in my Savior as my all in all,
standing on the promises of God.
Standing, standing,
standing on the promises of Christ my Savior;
standing, standing,
I'm standing on the promises of God."
"Like
a ship that's tossed and driven, battered by an angry sea.
When the storms of life are raging, and their fury falls on me.
I wonder what I have done, to make this race so hard to run.
Then I say to my soul, soul take courage
The Lord will make a way somehow.
The Lord will make a way somehow.
This teacher's journey may not be easy, you did not say it would be.
Sometimes I get so lonely and disheartened, and I just don't want to be bothered.
Then I began to think Lord what I have done, to make this race so hard for me to run.
Then I say to my soul, soul take courage
The Lord will make a way somehow
The Lord will make a way somehow
Somehow
Somehow, Somehow, Somehow, Somehow
The Lord will make a way somehow
The Lord will make a way somehow
The Lord will make a way somehow
The Lord will make a way somehow
The Lord will make a way somehow
The Lord will make a way somehow
The Lord will make a way somehow
The Lord will make a way somehow
The Lord will make a way somehow
The Lord will make a way somehow
The Lord will make a way somehow
The Lord will make a way somehow"
One
of the first things out of Bro Rons mouth.
He was still sitting in the pew during praise reports, hadn't even started his sermon (Bro Joe is on vacation).
"If the well aint got enough water?
What do you do?
Dig down a lil deeper."
I promise you.
Priceless.
See why I love New Chappel?
Do me that favor I asked of you and I'm good.
Love you.
Gotta get.
ttyl.
Just
wanna see that smile on your face.
Like I did four years ago today.
Coming down the steps at Kindred.
Fuck being cool.
I'm way past that now.
Happy stairs day sweetheart.
"The
good lord willin and the creek don't rise, we'll see you in the mornin'."
I'll never forget that look on his face.
Never.
Saturday, June 25, 2016
Any
questions?
Do you think you know how I really feel now?
Do I have to say it again?
Did I make my point?
Do you understand?
Is there anything I need to clarify?
Love me or hate me but I can tell you one thing.
You'll never have to guess where things stand with me.
Never.
Love you Dollbaby.
Your
call.
Cause I really don't give much a fuck anymore.
Incase you couldn't tell.
Stay?
Go?
Doesn't really change my situation at all from what I can see.
Friday, June 24, 2016
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
RNM
"No. I don't want success.
Success is nuttin' - y'know what I mean?
You follow the system and the system kill ya."
"Be
glad you got a job."
How bout fuck no?
How's that suit ya?
Aint gonna.
Always wanted to say that :-).
Always.
Believe it or not?
I've been holding back somewhat.
No more.
Economist are dumbfounded at the historically low workforce participation rates of the last few years.
They can't figure it out.
Clowns.
How bout this?
These jobs aren't worth it.
They don't pay enough.
Why work for peanuts and barely get by and not have a life and basically be an indentured servant when you can do largely the same working lil odd jobs or hardly working at all?
You can work your whole life with these shitty ass jobs with nitwit ass kissin managers and you're never gonna have enough to retire on or put your kids through school.
So why even bother trying?
This millennial generation has some of it figured out.
Wanna know the two things that have driven economic recoveries in the past?
The housing market and the automotive sector.
This time the housing market caused the damn recession.
There is a whole generation out there and maybe it's even going to be cross-generational that is saying, "I don't need or want your big fancy house and being in debt up to my eyeballs with no more security than these jobs provide."
Same thing with the vehicles.
They don't want your big fancy status symbols.
They want a reliable way to get around, if that means a bike or public transport?
Then so be it, look at the cost savings.
Thats why your recovery is so sluggish.
Duh.
Jobs I had in my lifetime that paid me what I was worth?
0.
None.
Nada.
Zilch.
It was always, "Oh you do this and we're gonna take care of you."
Then they never would.
Never mind the performance I had already delivered that wasn't being rewarded.
Oh hell no don't ever mention that.
It was always if you want more?
Then do more.
Most the time it was, "Oh hell no we're not going to pay you any more, here, we're adding this on to your responsibilities."
Corporations just have way to much power in this country.
I know a seventeen year old that would agree :-).
Lots of the rest of the industrialized world looks at us like we're nuts.
We work longer hours and are more productive for less pay and less benefits and have the smallest social safety net in the free world.
For what?
So you can go in debt up to your eyeballs with a big fancy house, go to Florida two times a year and want and live like everyone else?
Fuck your consumerism capitalism.
You can have it.
Agian
How bout no thanks.
When I figured out I was never going to have enough to retire on no matter how much I saved was the day I said fuck it I'm not beating my head up against this wall anymore.
I'm going to live now why I still got some good years left in this aging body of mine.
Every recovery since every recession going back to the late 70's has resulted in fewer and fewer good paying jobs.
People finally are saying fuck it.
This aint worth it.
The people that didn't live it?
They don't understand.
Can't I suppose.
It's not their reality.
There Mr Economist.
Thats your explanation for the historically low workforce participation rates of the last few years.
Nitwits.
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
Stephen Lessard
Bass player for Dave Matthews Band.
DMB showed up to his house in a nine person Ford econoline van.
Couple crew members.
Gear etc.
Something like this.
He was seventeen years old.
Im gonna say that again.
He was seventeen years old.
He was playing in three different orchestras.
Three.
He had a full ride to Juilliard.
You know, the music school in New York with an acceptance rate of 6.7%.
"Get your stuff we're leaving."
He ran upstairs, packed a bag, grabbed his bass and gear said goodbye to his mom and family.
And he was gone.
There was no months of mentoring via emails.
There was no praying and hemming and hawing about what to do.
There was no reading of tea leaves, giving of alms or sacrifices waiting on answers.
The son of a bitch grabbed his shit and left.
He was seventeen years old.
His mom may have hesitated at first.
But she didn't fight it.
She relented.
Rather quickly.
Know why?
Cause she knew what was best for her son was to let him follow his dreams.
The rest as they say...
is history.
If Nich doesn't ever get anything else from me I hope he understands this.
You're given chances in life because somebody wants you to have them.
If you see a chance and you're willing to take it, then by all means do so.
Cause if you don't?
Trust me.
Someone else will.
So when you get the chance and you know with unwavering certainty that it's right for you?
Take it.
You'll be glad you did.
If it doesn't work?
You're right back where you were to start with.
So why not?
I'll give him another reason to go out on a limb and take chances when they are presented.
How miserable an existence would it be, to sit around the rest of your life saying,
"Well, I could have been, done, blah blah blah...fill in the blanks."?
No thanks.
(Think about if Stephen Lessard didn't leave that day, "Man I could have been...Nobody will believe you and nobody will give a shit what you could have done.)
I'd rather fall on my face thousands, no millions of times working for my dream than to sit around living some boring ass wanna be existence I just can't stand the thought of.
I won't ever fucking apologize for it either.
Is that for everybody?
No.
But for some of us?
It's everything.
Here's to the "Whiny ass "Why not me? Oh boo hoo crowd."
I'll tell you why not you.
I'll tell you why you never even got the opportunity to start with.
Cause you wouldn't have taken it.
Or if you would have?
You wouldn't have done what you needed to do to get where your dreams could have taken you.
First time falling on your face you would have caved.
So why would you get such an opportunity?
How deserving of the chance would you really consider yourself?
99.9 % of people will take stability over the uncertain every single time.
Sometimes you gotta risk everything to get what you want out of life.
If you're not willing?
Thats fine.
That's your choice.
But just don't complain when others of us are.
Stephen Lessard's moment came when that van pulled up to his door.
He didn't hesitate.
He didn't waiver.
He didn't worry about what others thought cause going through life trying to please everyone else is the most certain way for you to end up miserable yourself.
He did what he knew was right.
For him.
He RAN upstairs.
He knew he was on to something special.
My moment came,
when I walked you to the car for the third time and you put your head on my shoulder.
I knew right then, this is it.
This is what I've been waiting for my whole life.
I'm not going to be without this.
This is my home.
This is my family.
I finally got it right..
I've never looked back on it since and I don't plan on doing so anytime in the future.
Now about those ass cheeks.
Bahahahahahahahahaha
Love you Bambi.
Every
last article I ever read on pursuing your dreams, I'm talking tons of articles here, know what they every last one said you could expect the most trouble out of?
What would be the biggest impediment to your success?
Family.
Guess what?
They were absolutely right.
You betcha
Aint stopped but for a few years here and there since I was 12 years old.
Why in the fuck would people think I'm going to stop now?
"Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food."
"every seed-bearing plant"
It doesn't say, "except this one", nope, not what it says, it says, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth..."
Work
yourself to death and be miserable cause thats what we all did.
How bout fuck no?
How's that suit ya?
"Be glad you got a job."
How bout fuck no?
How's that suit ya?
Aint gonna.
Got a better plan.
Had a exit strategy placed right in front of me by the Almighty himself.
Over this shit.
I'll write off who ever I fuckin have to.
Or they can come along for the ride.
Their choice.
One thing.
No haters allowed on this train.
None.
Stay the fuck in podunk if it suits ya.
I plan on havin the time of my life and take care of my son's future at the same time.
Period.
Crab Mentality
"Sometimes referred to as crabs in a barrel, is a way of thinking best described by the phrase, "if I can't have it, neither can you."
The metaphor refers to a bucket or barrel of crabs.
Individually, the crabs could easily escape from the bucket, but instead they grab at each other in a useless "king of the hill" competition which prevents any from escaping and ensures their collective demise.
The analogy in human behavior is claimed to be that members of a group will attempt to negate or diminish the importance of any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of envy, spite, conspiracy, or competitive feelings, to halt their progress."
Fuck 'em.
Don't care who they are.
Sick of 'em.
Sick of praying for them.
Sick of givin a shit anymore.
It's not going to work.
It's going to happen regardless.
They're powerless to stop it at this point.
Let it the ever-livin fuck go.
Monday, June 20, 2016
CS Lewis
“The sight of the huge world put mad ideas into me, as if I could wander away, wander forever, see strange and beautiful things, one after the other to the world's end.”
I
think this is a really great shot.
He and his wife hosted the Lewisport UMC picnic at their property.
Guy was so nice.
He gave me a tour of the remodeled interior of their house.
Built in 1864.
Built during the civil war.
Crazy.
Anyway, really like the shot.
And yes he kicked my butt lol.
Three times lol.
Family
friend just commented on the FB post about New Chappel:
"It is the oldest congregation in the county still located on the same property where it was established.
Cannot recall the preacher's name who established it while on his way to the Christmas Conference in Philadelphia. Lots of rich history.
Five people in my lifetime answered their calling from New Chapel."
Yeah...
No Holy Spirit workin there or nothin...
Please.
Love ya lucy.
"Oh,
where there's a will,
There's always a way.
Where there's a will,
There's always a way (way, way, way, way),
Soul train is coming our way!
Zion train is coming our way."
YESTERDAY
Made it official.
Became a member of New Chapel United Methodist Church yesterday. Father's day :-). The church is over 200 years old. I'm gonna try and get the rest of this right. I believe I was told the land was deeded over from a family farm and a trust fund then set up to run operations. It's not a Station Church in that a preacher from another church is it's pastor. Bro Joe preaches at Lewisport UMC right down the road as well. Works great for me :- ), our service is at 9:30 AM, if I wanna sleep late I can attend Lewisport UMC and see the same pastor deliver usually just about the same message. From what I've read, it seems like I remember there were bands of traveling Methodist Preachers that roamed the countryside by horseback, carriage, mule, whatever and went from church to church preaching on Sundays. Some ministering to as many as seven churches. I remember Bro Joe said he had three at one time.
Love it.
Forrest Gump
"But at nighttime, when there was nothing to do and the house was all empty,
I'd always think of Jenny.
And then, she was there."
Forrest Gump
"Now, Momma said there's only so much fortune a man really needs and the rest is just for showing off..."
RUMI
Everyone is so afraid of death, but the real sufis just laugh: nothing tyrannizes their hearts. What strikes the oyster shell does not damage the pearl.
Me
"You know it's funny what a young man recollects?
Cause I don't remember bein' born.
I don't recall what I got for my first Christmas
and I don't know when I went on my first outdoor picnic.
But I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world."
too Forrest, me too.
Saturday, June 18, 2016
One
"Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
You say...
One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it
Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...
Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...
Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head
Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...life
One"
Love it
"I'm amazed at a quiet ocean
I'm amazed at your warm devotion
I'm amazed at what the people sayin'
I'm amazed by a divided nation
Like the rhythm of the earth, I get disrupted
I'm amazed at all that has been
I'm amazed at all that will be
I'm amazed at the tv stations
I'm amazed what they want me to believe
After all is said and done- where is the justice?
I'm amazed, the lack of evolution
I'm amazed at the lack of faith
I'm amazed at the love we're rejecting
I'm amazed what we accept in its place
Like the rhythm of the earth
And the rhythm of the ages
Like the rhythm, I get disrupted
I'm amazed
I'm amazed
Ah
Ah"
"Someone
would have to put a bullet in my head before I'll ever let you go spend another weekend with that woman."
What I told Nicholas after things went down with his mom.
Look at us now Lucy :-).
Love you.
No way
Im still standing here today, without GOD almighty himself propping me up along the way.
The people that don't think so?
Or don't understand?
Or can't believe?
They don't matter.
Simple.
Easy.
Movin on.
Love you.
"So here we are
tonight you and me together
The storm outside, the fire is bright
And in your eyes I see
what's on my mind
You've got me wild
turned around inside
And then desire, see, is creeping
up heavy inside here
And know you feel the same way
I do now
Now let's make this an evening,
we'll share some wine, maybe we'll get high..."
Friday, June 17, 2016
Thursday, June 16, 2016
"You're
packing a suitcase for a place
None of us has been
A place that has to be believed
To be seen"
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Meanwhile...
One,
1.3 mile walk around the park with Nero,
two pieces of toast,
a glass of sweet tea,
two pieces of bacon
and a tomato, cheese, onion and jalapeno omelet later
(Omelets are great for cleaning out the refrigerator)
and let me check here...
Yep, still lovin you :-).
Rumi
Run from what's comfortable.
Forget safety.
Live where you fear to live.
Destroy your reputation.
Be notorious.
I have tried prudent planning long enough.
From now on I'll be mad.
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Preach it Bob
"Until the philosophy which hold one race superior
And another
Inferior
Is finally
And permanently
Discredited
And abandoned -
Everywhere is war -
Me say war.
That until there no longer
First class and second class citizens of any nation
Until the colour of a man's skin
Is of no more significance than the colour of his eyes -
Me say war.
That until the basic human rights
Are equally guaranteed to all,
Without regard to race -
Dis a war.
That until that day
The dream of lasting peace,
World citizenship
Rule of international morality
Will remain in but a fleeting illusion to be pursued,
But never attained -
Now everywhere is war - war..."
Monday, June 13, 2016
:-)
"...prophet,
soul rebel,
Rasta-man,
herbs-man,
wildman,
a natural mystic man,
lady's man,
island man,
family man,
Rita's man,
soccer man,
shaman,
human,
Jamaican..."
"Angel,
angel or devil?
I was thirsty
And you wet my lips.
You, I'm waiting for you
You, you set my desire
I trip through your wires"
"I'll
see you again when the stars fall from the sky
And the moon has turned red over One Tree Hill."
Sunday, June 12, 2016
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