Just

wondering a few things honey...

Cause you know, discerning minds wanna know.

What did our preacher mean when she said next Sunday (The Sunday I gave the message and she was on her retreat) is a big week for our church?

How is it possible that I know, way more than those in attendance heard/saw the message on the "Evolution of a prayer"?

Why did a friend of mine seem to know I was going to be able to tell my story from New Chapel UMC? (And seemed a lil envious as well?)

Why did our Bishop email me about seminars out of the blue for no apparent reason?

Why is the telecom putting in fiber/data lines in front of our church?

Who were all the people standing around out back of Lewisport UMC last Sunday evening? When there was no youth group meeting because there is no youth group to speak of any more at Lewisport UMC?

The thing that angers me the most is people thinking I don't know what I do and it's so obviously right in front of me. Unlike others I have ears that hear and eyes that see, people should know this by now.

Why are there sets of darts at the barbershop lying on the table in plain sight? Who wants me to see them and infer what's being referenced?

The main thing that kills me is, why is it so imperative, that a truck that is barely functional and that I can no longer afford to operate, be kept running? There's not but one person in this world that wants that truck to be kept running and it's not me or my buddy. You want it running? Fine, then you foot the bill for the insurance for the next six months/gas etc. As far as I am concerned the damn thing can blow up or end up in the river at this point. Tired of dealing with it every time I turn around, tired of looking at it, tired of seeing it anymore, its simply not worth the aggravation at this point. (I could mention something else that's fastly not becoming worth the aggravation anymore but I'm trying to be nice, polite, hold my temper in check etc) Its just another issue I shouldn't have to be dealing with at this point (The truck). I'll go throw myself on the mercy of my buddy and see what happens I guess. He's bound to be getting about as sick of this nonsense as I am by now. Leaving out of here on a plane but I can't pay insurance on a 20 year old truck. Welcome to the absurdity that is my life. I keep telling everybody I had enough years ago...nobody listens...Throw in the fact that others are jealous of me/us for having the very things we dont really care anything about (with the exception of the 48) and the cherry on top is all the people that want what were gonna have wouldn't have made it a week in our shoes and I think you can sense the frustration/aggravation that has set in at this point...Kafkaesque would be dialing it down a few notches. WOD BTW, Kafkaesque.

On the flip side? Maybe there's a good reason I am now in possession of my truck that I can't pay the insurance on and I hardly have any gas in etc...Also? I was motivated enough  to work on my twenty minutes last night for the first time in a while, it always evolves but I can tell its just about finished. 49 passages of scripture, 89 verses, six parts if you include the Intro and the question and answer sections.

How bout we say the heck with it and ride off like true outlaws with an expired lic and no insurance? Lord knows it wouldn't be my first time. Probably wouldn't be the last either at this rate.

Know what the difference is between being in a hole that's just deep enough to not be able to get out of anymore and one that's a half mile deep? Absolutely nothing, you can't get out of either, so what's the difference really?

Growing really tired of hanging on honey.

I love you baby.