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Preterism

just want someone 

( anyone :-), 

I'm not picking on anybody in particular :-)

(you know I love you as a sister in Christ) 

who holds this view to come and explain to me:

Exactly what were the signs in the heavens and on the earth shown before the great and coming day of the lord?

(Remember we just had the first three confirmed interstellar visitors to our solar system here in the last few years and that is but one instance of signs in the heaven).

What exactly were the three Woes?

The great apostasy?

The falling away?

Who were the two witnesses and when  (Exactly) then, did they show up?

When exactly was the greatest outpouring of the spirit post early church? (Haggai 2:9)

When was the millennium reign of Christ?

When were the martyrs/those who never knew him resurrected?

All this has happened already?

Well before now? 

Etc on and on and on...

Theres plenty more I would like to ask your SPECIFIC answers to

Notice I didn't even mention the rapture or the second coming.

To postulate (WOD BTW) that it has all already happened is to suggest that we need not study biblical prophecy anymore, thus by default, if we need not study biblical prophecy anymore because we consider it to all be fulfilled already? Then were not going to be able to see the signs as they are happening right in front of us.

Now ask yourself:

What entity would want to do such a thing?

Im eagerly awaiting all responses, 

I got eyes that see and ears that hear BTW...yup...