I've been trying to tell you...

"Two positive people with gods blessing? Well that would be unstopable in my book"

 

 

Fair...

and for the love of god when do we get to ride in the spider or the tilt-a-whirl and eat funnell cakes and just laugh and be goofballs? I'm gonna be at the fair this weekend, guess who I'm gonna be wishing was there? I just love little fall festivals, fairs, etc...If its got funnell cakes, lemon shake ups and a spider, a scrambler, or tilt a whirl, I'm ready to go...How much longer you gonna keep me missing you till we can do these things together? Haven't I shown you how much I want you in my life and how much I do and would always cherish you?..alas...all I can do is keep giving you love and trust and know that you'll come along someday...

Evil One...

He hit me hard at work...out of left field...someone I would have never expected to act in such a manner...unbelieveable really...been here over three years and never a problem with anyone ever...then this guy...wow... A guy on day shift I never even see or work with...about populating a field in tickets that we never had to populate before...been this way for over nine months...then he sends an email to all my co-workers just trying to make me look bad? Literally singles me out for something that everybody has been doing the same way since we bought these facilities?...Blew my mind...

So I do things how he wanted them done over the weekend...I love working nights, no politics, no rocking the boat, show up, handle our business go home, stay under the radar etc...I come back in yesterday and he had sent another e-mail out about the same issue that I had worked just the way he wanted...I was like whoa...WTF? The line in the e-mail that got me was "...if you can't or won't then we will find someone who can"...really? This guy is not my team lead, he is not my supervisor and he gonna send out an email like this? To my co-workers? I was so mad I was literally shaking...I was gonna sit in his chair and just wait for him to come on shift in the AM...It got to the point where I couldn't think or do my work. I called my supervisor at home, told him about the situation, told him I considereded it intimidation, a threat, harrassment and that I shouldn't have to put up with it, no one should.

Leaving yesterday morning I ran into the guy who was sending the emails. I asked if he wanted to go have a talk. We did. I told him if he has an issue with my work that he could email me directly, that his emails to the group were not appreciated and that I was taking his actions as a threat and an attempt at intimidation. He said, I swear to you he said " I do what ever I want to do around here what are you going to do about it?" I was like WTH is going on here. I reiterated my points a few more times before leaving for my stepmoms. Literally could not believe what had happened.

I come in today and my supervisor called him out in front of the group as a whole. Told him he could not be sending out e-mails like that. Did it in front of everyone. I firmly believe in "praise in public, criticize in private". But if your your gonna call out a member of your group over somthing that willy-nilly? Well then you deserve to be called out in front of the group yourself. I could tell my supervisor was not pleased last night when I called him. I really thought he would take him out of the room to address the issue. He didn't. according to James he didn't enen have his back back off his shoulder when he told him in front of the group he could not be doing that.

Just blows my mind.

Here is the thing. The evil one comes at us from all directions. This guy has had an issue with me since I bought the bike. He's jealous. His daughter and her kids live at home with him. He is not enjoying his life. He sees a free spirit loving his and it's more than he can take. ( I didn't even say this, I just told James I had a theory and James went on a lil rant and explained plenty that I had no idea about) It's evil, jealousy, envy, all the negative emotions, all they do is serve to keep you trapped and miserable. Instead of enjoying what he does have (kids, grandkids) he's jealous of a life he will never be able to live. After three years of working (albeit) on different shifts with the guy, this pops up now?

I know how it is Lucy. We are going to have a love and a life like few people ever get to, this kind of stuff is just going to come with the territory...I just absolutly refuse to have my calm, peace contentment affected by others...It's within me to remain happy and content, so I shall.

I haven't yet...but I will...

over and over and over and over....

Are you jonesin'...

Are you jonesin' for your attention Dollbaby? Is it like a drug that you just can't seem to do without?...

There aint no "John"...Travis aint in the picture...your almost ready...I can feel it in my bones...No way somebody keeps looking at this over and over every few minutes and is involved with someone else...I should have smelled that rat when it  first showed up...

When you gonna be my wife sweetheart? When we gonna get to tell this story to everyone that will listen...I love ya true, like no other ever gonna, or I wouldnt still be here...I know you know this...you can leave comments here you know...I'll see them...

you're so full of shit...you just crarck me up...

All I see when I think of you is that giddy, bubbly, smiley face of yours in Yahoo Chat...or coming down the stairs at Kindred...

I love you, my mission in life is to love you and Nicholas and to not let any harm come to either of you if I can prevent it...just let me live my mission sweetheart...your gonna love it...

106 page views...

106 page views...are you loving it? Are you on top of the world? Can you just not believe that things happened the way they did? That somebody is absolutely this crazy about you? Makes me smile just knowing you're that happy...Name on deed a week within coming to be with us...Financial and emotional security...It aint a joke, It deserves to be treated with the respect and dignity it warrants...Love you, going to work here soon...ttyl...

Night...

Going home...love you...

Your just amazing...

Your just amazing...just like I said, your the most beautiful, most intelligent, most amazing woman I have ever met...

"All day...

"All day, everyday, till the end of days...This is my dream, this is what I will work hard everyday of my life for..."

I really thought...

I really thought we would be married by now...I really did.

:-)....

Oh well...

I like it the more I know your looking at it anyway...:-).

Stop!!

No more! leave it right there...lol

1 more

2 more

3 more...

4 more to go...

6 more pageviews would make it... 69

6 more pageviews would make it 69 agian...just sayin...

I thought

I thought you were a real woman, that wanted a real man, that knew exactly what he wanted...either of us could be gone tomorrow sweetheart...then where would we be? "I would die a happy man if I only just knew that she had planed on being my wife someday" That is exactly how I feel and have felt and will feel...as great as your feeling right now flying in the clouds can't believe your living in a dream...thats how I'm gonna feel when we go get some ink on our fingers...by late fall...home at last, one last move forever, before Christmas...small ceremony in the spring...Destin next fall...simple, easy, if it's what we really both want, we will make it happen...Love you...night...by the way do you ever sleep?

You're funny...

Home...

Everynight...sit right here...listen to the frogs and the crickets and the owls...just enjoy, peace, calm, quiet...each other...

When...

When you gonna give me some more good stuff?...I still got screen captures of poems and such...come on girl...your killin me...

If...

"If I can't have her all the time, I don't want her at all. Know what Smokey Robinson said right? A lil taste of honey is worse than none at all..."

Rumi...go to bed it's late...call me sometime...soon...you know it's true...

Believe...

"Believe in love.
Believe in magic.
Believe in others.
Believe in yourself.
Believe in your dreams.
If you dont...
Who will?"

Jon Bon Jovi

Rumi

Be a hand that reaches out.
Be a smile for those who have no reason to smile.
be a light for those who live in darkness.

Rumi

Don't be sad!
Because God sends hope in the most desperate moments.
Don't forget, the heaviest rain comes out of the darkest clouds.

:-)

Rumi

If light is in your heart
you will find your way home.

I can hear you already...

I can hear you our first time on the phone already...voice quivering, very shaky..."Andrew?"...Me "Hey? What's up? Bout time stranger"...You'll have me on speaker but won't tell me, your friends and family all around..."Are you serious? Are you serious about what you've said?"...Me "Nah, I just made three seperate trips of close to 400 miles each to try and see you and sent you probably close to 9000 text in a year, because you know, I was just kidding and didn't mean a word of it...OFCOURSE I WAS FREAKING SERIOUS KNUCKLEHEAD!!"...Meant it all from the third time I walked you to your car...happens like that sometimes...whats a boy to do when he is that smitten? Walk away?...Obviously not my style...we can have a good life Hotrod...just waiting for you to get your nerve up...when you jump, I'll catch you...promise.

This weekend...

Nicholas and I will be working the Band Booster Booth at the fair...Then we will collect admission to the fair Saturday night. The fair board pays our church to do so. The money we make for collecting the admission goes to the church building fund for our new building. See, you could be here and help with all the fun..."with some people watching paint dry would be fun"...someone once said...yep...so when we painting Lucy? I'm all ears...Love the fact that I know your seeing these and how many times as well...share em with your girl friends if you want, lord knows thay aint ever got nuthin like this in their lives...

I just wanna...

I just wanna wake up everyday that I can with you...I just wanna know for certian that we want the same things from each other and for our live...I'm tired of fighting lifes battles on my own...I want the most incrediable woman I have ever met to come along with me through this journey called life...Everyday we are not together is a day I feel like I could be happier...I will tell you everyday if I have to, but I think it's actually starting to sink into somebodys head...I think...140 page views means something one would suppose...Love you, relax...a new journey with new adventures is starting soon...It's all okay...want that Ink lucy...wanna know in my mind what my hearts been feeling for a while now...yours too, you aint foolin...just no more threats...none, no more, ever...relax...Im here to help you through life, not harm you...Love you...

Busy...

Busy sweetheart...work and trying to get personal life arranged around Band Competitions, Fund Raisers, etc...it's why I wanted to get toget her this summer dingleberry...schedules crazy this fall...love you, check back in a bit when things settle down.

136?

136 pageviews...thats 5.6 an hour...that a view every 10.5 minutes...who should be scared Lucy?

Love you...

Love you...

I get it...

I get it...just gotta let you come to me on your own time...you always have...just like with the threats to push me a way...I get ya...like nobody else ever has or ever will...why is that Lucy? Gotta get to work. Peace.

96...

96 page views...no way somebody does that and be in an abusive relationship...the abuser would know.

Gotta get back in bed...

Gotta get back in bed...working tonight and tomorrow...92 page views, you blow me away...

Yeah...

Yeah...we beat yesterday in page-views...yeah!! woo hoo!!

What other man...

What other man you ever gonna know, gonna cook up southern fried chicken, yep, with bacon grease, in granny's cast iron skillets? You won't ever meet another one and you know it, it's part of why you love me...

Rumi always comes in with the right things at the right times...always...ever notice that?...Ever wonder why that is Lucy?...
relax...pretend I'm there with you laying your head on my chest listening to my heart knowing all is right with the world...
relax...shhhhhhhhhh...go to sleep as I run my fingers through your hair...

I understand...

I understand you wig out when crunch time comes...it's understandable...but no more threats sweetheart if you were gonna do something you would have done it a long time ago...so no more...goes back to that respect thing...

Rumi

If the door shuts, do not go away.
Be patient, even if every possibility seems closed.
The friend has secret ways known to no one else.


(yes she does)

Night beautiful. I love you, I know your going to be my wife someday...soon...relax... the journey is just getting started...

Yep...

Are you getting email alerts?

Are you getting email alerts?

Cause every time I post something it gets viewed right that second...

Maybe I should be the one being scared?

and by the way...with what I'm offering...you should be chasin after me...just sayin...lord knows you've probably chased after less...

think I don't know you...woman please...

I just get tired...

I just get tired of being threatened...either do it, or shut up about it already...pretty simple stuff...

What don't make sense is...

What don't make sense is...

Why would "John" just appear a year and 1000's of text later? Like it's a surprise to him now?

and if "John" was Travis? Why didn't he have any more to say after I saw him in Cookeville? It never bothered him at all till just now? Like he didn't know I was pursuing you? That dog just don't hunt...

And why so over the top with the threats?..."I'm gonna make it my point in life...with our incomes...I'm gonna call your cell carrier...gonna hack in your account and cause HIPPA violations" on and on and on..hit me right after I had just woke up as well...took me a lil by surprise...I was expecting YOU on the phone...

Fits a pattern of behavior however...one's an accident, two's a trend, three is a pattern...

This dog just don't hunt, it just don't...not after I done said all I did and been everywhere I done been...sombodys scared shitless she done found the real thing...yeah, Ive been called a wild man a time or two...thing is there's only one woman on this earth I wanna be wild with...wonder who that might be Lucy?...

You better treat me like a king is all I got to say...

You wait...

You just wait till I rub my soul patch all up over you...your dyin'...you can't wait much longer...your sitting there wet in your britches right now, don't even think I don't know it...22 page views and counting...why don't you stop at 69 again? Lil Miss Chicken shit...scared to death of me...I told you I would be patient and take my time...but the fact is your gonna feel better than you ever felt before and we both know it...it's awesome...relax...but we gotta start talking...that's just gotta happen...

Tell "John"...

Tell "John" I said he can go fuck himself...

Do you get it yet?

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free."

- Jim Morrison, The Doors.

I see...

I see all the pageviews everyday...I see how many times you've looked at all the individual post...you're not foolin anybody, lol...maybe yourself, but nobody else...least of all me...72 pageviews in one day?...This is somebody that's "scared"?...more like scared of the good time their gonna have and just can't believe what they've found...how much longer knucklehead?

"...Ink by late fall, here by Christmas, ceremony late spring, Destin next fall..." Why you keep looking at it if you're so "scared"? You're so full of shit, always have been...

'I fell in love with her the third time I was ever around her, I've been chasin her for over a year, she won't give me the time of day"."That's an act, she's not like that, she's not that cold-hearted"...Like I didn't already know, woman please...

I'm tired of the nonsense...

You have pushed me away each and every time with the same old crap...Ever since Kindred..."I'm not interested!!"...Then I bust your ass checking out the bike on the third floor. "If she is into you she will get in touch with you "Tina" says...and then your in Yahoo Chat and saying the sweetest things ever...Push me back right before coming to Baxter as well. I go to your mom's house and text you the picture? That didn't "scare" you. 69+ page views the other day, oh yeah your terrified, it shows I can tell. More like mesmerized if you ask me. "John" appears out of nowhere right after I let you know I'm fed up with this sthcik? Says he saw all the text? Well where the hell was he for the past year? And why were you keeping the text around for him to see? Why not delete them? It's a bunch of hooey, you gave yourself away when I went to your moms and you didn't say don't go. I never expected you there. Went there to show you I would and to see if you would tell me not to. That would have been it right then and there. You know I'm ready to walk, you don't want me to, you've made it obvious at every turn. I don't know if there is a "John" or if it's Travis, of if your in an abusive relationship or not. These aren't my problems and I can't fix them. Only you can do that. But I will be here to help any way I can, I've shown you that. Funny that "John" saw the text I think. I said shit that would make you blush all over, not crude mind you, just provocative, you didn't mind those. Each and every time when things start to be real you push away. I'm getting tired of telling you how I feel and what I'm offering. You're not happy where ever you are. I don't even know where that might be these days. I can't make you happy, that's up to each individual. But I can offer you love like you've obviously never known and so obviously crave, and financial and emotional security, and a way of life that is very appealing to you. When the fear of not having it outweighs the fear of staying in the same old tired patterns, well, you'll either decide you want it, or you don't. But your days of being a gypsy are drawing to a close, you've made that apparent. Everybody gets tired of that shit after a while, gets old. If you are truly in an abusive relationship you will find a way out. You would call from work, use a friends phone, have a friend or relative text me and tell me whats going on, find a pay phone to use, set up a fake email address, any number of things. But you don't. Leads me to believe your just buying yourself time as your not ready or still just can't wrap your head around how things happened. Nothing I can do about it. "She wants to trust, she wants to settle down", "I said Vergie, do you know how rare that is that someone would show you how bad they want you in their life?" Like I would ever let harm come to someone I obviously care this much about...you didn't talk to the neighbor? give me a break. What are we in third grade? Grown-up time knucklehead, get your head on straight...Ink by late fall, here by Christmas, ceremony late spring, Destin next fall..."John" got  a better plan? Give me a break...

69...

69 page views...seriously...69? Not 58, not 68, not 70, exactly 69...lol...You trying to tell me something? Cause I'm all game...

Remedy

"...If I come on like a dream?
Would you let me show you what I mean?..."

Otis...

"...Take my hand
don't be afraid
I'm gonna prove
every word I say..."

I won't back down...

Your future life...

Name on Deed...
House paid off...
Quiet country living
Garden
Swing
Sunsets
Bike Rides
Fires
Camping
Weekend getaways
Awesome step son
Concerts
Kayaking
Festivals
Fairs
Hammock
Sunday Naps
I could go on and on, but you get the idea...

You are commanded to be couragous. To get what you want you're gonna have to do what you thought you never could, it's the way it works sometimes sweetheart...I'm here to help any way I can, but this is your battle, no one elses...

Rumi

Love is not written on Paper,
for paper can be erased.
Nor is it etched on Stone,
for stone can be broken.
But it is inscribed on a Heart
and there it shall remain
forever.

Night beautiful, sweet dreams, stay safe, Love you...

Rumi

To love is human.
To feel pain is human.
Yet to still Love despite the pain
is pure angel.

Rumi

The real beloved is that one who is unique,
who is your begining and your end.
When you find that one,
you'll no longer expect anything else.

Rumi

I will be waiting here...
For your silence to break,
For your soul to shake,
For your love to wake!

They got your back as well...

Tons of page view yesterday...just like I expected...tells me I know I'm on the right track...leaving an abusive relationship is one of the hardest things anyone will ever have to go through, for a variety of reasons, all very valid. "Just leave" everyone says, if they've never been there, they will never know what they are talking about, there is just no way they can. It's just a colossial mind fuck of epic porportions...if you haven't been through it you shouldn't be telling people how to proceed. Lucky for you (more like blessed :-), I've been through four of these over 10 years, got counciling, took medication, recovered, and came out the other side of OZ in a much more enlightened state than I ever could have imagined, but it does take work, and you have to be willing to do so.

Im not going to go into all the gory details but the first thing you have to do is admit that there is a problem. Then you have to want to fix the problem. Then you get to the point where you actually take the steps necesary to correct the problem. Sometimes depending on the severity and the length of the abuse this step can need to be drastic. It's just the way it is.

Victims generally believe that things are all their fault. It's not. What has been happening would have been happening with someone else if it wasn't you. It's what abusers do. They abuse. It's their fault. Lots of times what keeps someone "hooked" is the moments of clarity where you can see what attracted you to the person in the first place. That, "if we could just be like this all the time" feeling that you know deep in your soul is just never going to happen. Intermitent reinforcement is a powerfull psychological tool in the abuser arsenal. They don't even know they are doing it. It's all subconsiuos. The unintended side effect is the victim stays around a lot longer than they should. Guilt is also a common feeling among abuse victims as if somehow they could have fixed things or they must not be good enough or this person wouldn't be acting this way. It's nonsense, don't allow yourself to feel it. This is very easy for someone with a fragile sense of self or who is very insecure to buy into. Don't do it. The truth is we all deserve to be treated with courtsey, respect and dignity, and if someone truely loves you, they want you to be the person they know you want to be. Doesn't matter if it's family, friends, husbands, wives, etc. (Nicholas told me once he thought he might be gay, I didn't flip, I just looked at him and said just as seriously as I could, "I don't care if you turn out to be a polka-dot hermapherdite, I just want you to be happy, not successful, not rich, just happy...he just looked at me like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Our relationship has blossemed even more from that point on as he knows, no matter what, I will accept him. Now days he doesn't know if he is bi/gay/straight, but the more girls seem to come around to him the more he seems to lean in the straight direction lol). Point is, when people truely love you, they want you to be you, not somebody they think you should be, but who you really are. Isnt this what our creator really wants for us? I think somebody said once "he wants us to be with somebody we can truely be ourselves around". Why on earth would we want or accept any less? To do so is to invite misery into our lives.

Other things "John" said and other misc things that have been buzzing around the back of my cerebelum like a pack of annoying gnats:

"With our income we will make you miserable I will spend... blah blah blah..." Really? The "With our income..." part, dude, that was my line, sorry, nice try...More like he is mooching off of your income to support himself. Every address I ever found, shortly after, he shows up. Can he not find someplace to live and work on his own?


Abusers alienate their victims from their families and their friends so there is no support network in place. To me, from the outside looking in, this seems to be what has happened here. "It's like he brainwashed her or something". It's a recurring theme in abuse cases. "Your not good enough", "No one else would want you". After so long hearing it people start to believe it. It's just not true. Ofcourse some one else wants you. Someone who would love and cherish you and encourage and support you, in all your endevors. To me, this is where "John" has made one of his his biggest miscalculations. You already have a support network in place. It's ready. It's been ready. People know all about you. My family and friends will love and accept and support you the second they see you. All you have to do is make up your mind to come. I'll marry you the next day. When you come to be with us, wheres John going to go? He won't be able to weasel his way in this time. Sorry dude, gigs up. He is making two other gross miscalculations as well: 1) that you won't ever have the guts to do what your going to do someday as this situation is obviously unlivable at this point and 2) for some reason he thinks I'm scared of him and his bull shit. Let me just tell you this, my son lives at my house, all he has ever wanted is peace and calm in his life. We're almost there. You think I'm going to let this drunk abusive jack ass show up and ruin our calm and peace and quiet that I have worked all my life for? Does that even remotely sound like something that I would ever even begin to let happen Lucy? I told you a long time ago. Mess with me, thats one thing, mess with my boy? Oh, let me tell you, you aint ever even begun to see shit yet. The only occasion I ever had more adrenaline pumping through my veins than I did when I wrecked the bike was when I was driving to the hospital the night things went down with Nicholas and his mom. Trust me when I tell you it's not something he wants to be around and see. This is all without even mentioning you in the equation. Do you see my point? So when you come be with us, where is "John" going to move to this time since he obviously can't be with you? Tell City? Owensboro? Where is he going to work? What is he going to do to mess with us? Sheriff lives less than quarter mile down the road. He keeps an eye on the properity as he knows I'm in Louisville frequently. Even when not on duty he checks out my home when driving by. Christian (far left in pic, lives in the trailor behind me) flips out if I drive my step moms truck home, or he so much as hears a strang noise coming from my place. My friends don't just have my back, they got yours as well. Shit just will not happen. If he thought he was going to scare me away yesterday, he was sadly mistaken, all he did was strengthen my resolve and my commitment to you. You've got to do the work, but I'm here to help, every which way I can. He will be the outcast with no friends or family if he comes to our little community, they just don't last long. Real men don't threaten, they just do. He showed me who he really is yesterday. To say the least, I'm not impressed. If it was true what he said, if you were truely scared on my behalf, there would not have been 30+ page views yesterday, or 20 the day after the Black Crowes show, or the 21 the day after our court date. So I thank you for that, I know whats up. "Years if that s what it takes..." meant every word
.

Your mom knows, your brothers know, your sister knows, and now I know "John" knows...I saw that twinkle in your eye in Yahoo Chat. It was the same twinkle that was there when you came down the steps at Kindred. Time hasn't disapated it in the least, nor has it disapated the twinkle in my heart for you either...Know why Lucy? Cause it's never going to...peace

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. IT'S NOTHING YOU DID. I'M HERE FOR YOU. CUT THE CORD. END THE MISERY. HE ONLY FOLLOWED YOU CAUSE YOU WERE ON YOUR OWN. NO MORE.

My conversation with "John"...

Had an interesting conversation with an individual named "John" today. John called me from your cell phone. He said he was your boyfriend and that you were scared for your "physically saftey" at this point. John isnt John, John is Travis sweetheart. Did I mention I hate it when somebody thinks I'm stupid? I see and have complete resolution with what is and has been going on now. More of a sense of relief than anything, all the pieces have finally fell together. It's a good thing. It's funny how you were never scared for you physical saftey when I went to Cookville, or when I went to Baxter, or when I went to your mom's residence. Seems like if I was really scaring you, that would have been the time to say something, not six weeks later, that story just doesn't add up. No way you say what you did with Adam Somed and do that lil dance you did for me and then your scared. He's scared, cause things are coming to a head and he's loosing you. If you are scared for your physical saftey it is from the fear of what "John" may do, not from me. Twenty page views on the blog the day after the Black Crowes show? From someone who is scared? Hardly, more like from someone who sees how they want to live their life. "John"...didn't even have the guts to tell me his real name. My pourpose in life is to protect you and Nicholas from any physical harm that I can. Thats my mission, thats my calling, thats my role, thats my duty. It's what I was put here to do. Protect you, not harm you.

It's funny. I know your going to check here and see if there was anything posted. It's the last safe place for me to message you, so I will. Great minds think alike. No wonder you went away. He found out about POF, text, Yahoo etc...everytime I thought you were running from me, it was actually him finding out about you :-(...This love is devine, it flows from on high, fear comes rom an evil place, love defeates evil everytime...eveytime.

John is scared, his emotional punching bag is slipping away from him, he can feel it, hell, I can feel it or he wouldn't be responding the way he did today. I pray for your saftey. Going forward, I will only seek to communicate with you from here. Only because I know you can see this at your work on computers there. Do a bunch of page views by opening and closing the browser tab and I'll see it and I'll know to continue posting. I'll see the number of page views, (they don't count my own) and I 'll know you saw what I had to say. Nobody else ever looks at this anymore but you. I'll never post anything unless it's for you. Consider this a shrine to our love dingleberry.

No wonder you mask the numbers. It's not that you want to, you feel you have to to protect yourself from him. That's sad. It's no way to live your life. But that's a choice you are making. If that's something you feel like you have to continue to live with, thats the choice you have made and you will live with the consequences of those decisions for the rest of your life. I have no doubt, he has threatened your life, his life, my life, etc...It's what they do. It's no way to live...

John said some interesting things in our conversation. He was going to file this complaint and that complaint and he had been to the sherrifs office with you and done this and done that. I wouldn't have done any of that. I would have just went with you to file the harrassment charges. I don't know how many text there have been over the last year, 1000's...to go now and say your scared for your physicaly saftey? Prosecuters where I live would have told you to change the number. He said he was going to hack into work and make all kinds of HIPPA violations in my name etc etc etc...so he obviously knows a lil about me. He said he will come where I live. Okay. Agian, who is stoping him? Be a bully to a bully and they crawfish everytime. I saw the look in his eyes in Cookeville, he wasn't so emboldened then. Easy to hide behind a phone. But why all the threats? Just do it if thats what he wants to do, nobody is stoping him. "I will make it my point in life...blah blah blah..."...he said. Maybe it scared others away in the past and they thought this just aint worth it. Well I aint them and theirs wasn't true love. "John" doesn't scare me. I tell Nicholas all the time. The people that threaten to do things all the time? They never do it. People that do things don't threaten others with it. They just go do it. "John" is threatening things these days only because "John" feels threatened. Thats pretty easy to see. His emotional punching bag is slipping away from his control. Once your mind has been expanded sweetie, it never fits back in the same box..."It's like he brainwashed her" the neighbor said. Now I know in no uncertian terms what she meant. Even Nicholas could figure that one out. He also said something of the effect of "...so just go to the bar...". Tells me all I need to know about him right there. That's what he would do, that's probably what he does while your at home alone and miserable. I don't go to bars, never did, never will, really just never saw the attraction. Funny how people think we must all think like they do. That's him projecting himself onto me. How about "No Thanks".

You don't have to live this way, you just don't. Your making a choice to do so, based largely on fear. It's understandable and since your saftey from any more of his abuse is paramount at this point then I will not text or email. Only post things here.

Tina Turner was abused every which way by Ike Turner. Sexually, physically, verbally, emotionaly, for years and years on end she endured this. Finally one day after a brutal beating she walked into a Hotel in Beverly Hills, nose bleeding, black eyes, bloddy lips...her voice quivering, the desk clerk just looked at her like "what is this?" It was Beverly Hills. She told him she didn't have a penny, she didn't have a credit card, but she needed a room or she was going to be dead. The clerk, agianst all rules, got a room for her, she nursed herself back to health, got the restarining order agianst Ike. Eventually she paid the money back to the hotel. Went on to have a wonderful solo carreer she never could have had with Ike. To this day she credits that hotel clerk for saving her life and for helping her see she COULD get out from under Ike's control.

Sweetheart, I'm your hotel clerk. When the time is right, a year from now, two years from now, tomorrow, whenever...pack a bag in the middle of the night when he is passed out asleep and come start your new life with us. I will not let any harm come to you that I myself can prevent. This is my promise, this is my dream, this is what I will work hard everyday of my life for, all day, every day, till the end of days...peace.

You could be here...everynight we could sit here...watch the sunset, talk, just enjoy being with each other...You're all I want, You're all I ever ask for when I pray. Already got blessings beyond what I deserve, just want that cherry on top of my life...peace

Tedeski Trucks Black Crowes

You could have been sitting on my porch with me watching it...I aint even gonna mention what might have happened on the trampoline...

Albany KY Trip 0622

Bachaelor Life

Happy Valentines Day Virgie...

Home Tour

People wish they were us...

Spring Clean 2012

Jim Beam Distillery Tour

Why you should never eat at Austin's Restaurant in Louisville KY.

Why you should never eat at Austin's Restaurant in Louisville KY. Background I managed restaurants for some nine years (Chi's Chi's, TGI Friday's O'Charley's). I was a General Manager and had profit and loss responsibility for a three million dollar a year operation. If anybody knows how hard the work and the hours are in the restaurant business it's me. For this reason I always give the restaurants I visit the benefit of the doubt when it comes to service and quality they offer, in short, it has to be pretty horrendous before I will complain. To me food is a blessing, we should be gald we have some, to complain about it is almost blasphemy when you consider that at this very moment others are dying not having any. To be able to afford food that you didn't have to prepare yourself is simply that much more of a blessing. My step mom and I and eat out frequently, at least eight times a month. We go to different places to experience variety. We've seen a lot. If we like it and the service was good we go back, if not we don't complain we just don't go back, pretty simple stuff. Christmas Eve Buffet at Austin's. My step mom didn't want to cook Christmas Eve as she was already going to be cooking Christmas Day. She had seen an ad in the paper about a Christmas Eve Buffet at Austin's and suggested we go. I’m happy with a bologna sandwich or White Castles, I really don't care where we go so I said "sure, sounds nice, let's go there". The following is the actual chain of events that transpired that evening, I promise you, you cannot make this stuff up. We had made 5:30 reservations as we were coming from clear across the other side of town and wanted to allow ample time to get there as we were not sure about traffic etc. We arrived at 5:00 PM, so we were early. When we walked in the door, the hostess that was running the show looked at us like she wished we would just go away. I thought, "Well this isn't starting off so good, but whatever it's Christmas Eve and it's what my step mom wants, it will be okay". When my step mom told the not nearly as friendly as she should have been hostess that we had a 5:30 reservation was there any way we could go ahead and be seated she was told "there are people sitting at your table, you'll have to wait". Again I thought well that's a lil odd what guarantee is there that these people will be finished with their meal by 5:30? Its fine we will wait. We went and sat down in the lobby While we were waiting I decided to walk around and check the place out. I went to the bar, The Dallas Cowboys football game was on. Hallelujah!! My refuge. Yeah, not so fast, a few minutes after walking into the bar the game was changed to ESPN's Sports center. I thought, "That would never happen anywhere I ever worked, changing from a live game to a highlights show?" Whatever. Despondent I walked back to the lobby to be with my step mom. After a few minutes I walked through the entire restaurant to check the rest of the place out. What I saw was disturbing. Four empty four tops (tables for four). I thought, "Why are we waiting when there are empty tables in the dining room? This doesn't make any sense to me". So I went back to the lobby, at this point I still wasn't going to complain about anything. What transpired in the lobby shortly thereafter was simply the worse service related experience I have ever suffered through in my life, in a restaurant or any other service related industry. Upon entering the lobby another party was walking in they approached the not nearly as friendly as she should have been hostess and informed her that they had a 5:30 reservation (it's now 5:15), they were told "right this way". My step mom just looked at me with a look of disbelief and said "Do you believe that?" I said "No I don't". I went to the hostess desk and explained that we also had a 5:30 reservation and were there before that party and that there were four empty four tops in the dining room and that we would like to be seated. She started in on her explanation about "There's someone at your table". (Side note: Would it have really been that hard to give us someone else’s table that's not there yet and give them ours, the one "with people still eating", is it really that complicated?) I politely told her that all I wanted to hear from her was "right this way please", again she started in on her reasoning, this was the third time now that I am hearing this, I got it the first time sweetheart, I just don't buy it and I don't wish to hear it anymore. I said "I am done speaking with you; I would like to speak to your manager please". How to make a bad situation the worst you have ever experienced. So here comes the manager who starts speaking to me from across the lobby and again he also starts with the explanation of there’s someone at your table, like it's a god given absolute that they will be done with their meal at 5:30? Again, why not just give us one of the tables that are empty and sit a party at our table that's currently occupied when they arrive? I told him in a polite tone basically the same thing I told the hostess, "The only way to solve this is to say, 'right this way please'". He told us we could leave, that we were not welcome to eat dinner at his establishment. Me and My step mom's jaws were both on the floor at this time. I simply could not believe it. I said, "What’s your name?" To which the manager replied "I don't have to tell you". Again I am just dumbfounded as his complete incompetence. I said "What's your General Managers name?" again the manager replies, "I don't have to tell you that either". My reaction? More dumbfoundedness. "Well who owns this place?" I ask. Take a guess what the manager’s response is? Yep, "I don't have to tell you". At this point in time I informed him that there was a little thing called the internet and that I would find the information that I needed, and that I would inform everyone I could of our experience. Now he states in a tone loud enough for others in the lobby to hear, "Your acting horrible! You’re a horrible person! Leave!" and then runs off to the dining room. I'm sorry but when I know I have done nothing wrong, I don't hide and not give out information that people are asking for, there's simply no need too. Most establishments have pictures of their owners, managing partners, regional directors etc. on their premises with phone numbers and other contact information. Do you think that was the case with this establishment? No, nothing anywhere to be found. Trust me, on my way out I was looking. It's unfixable at this point; there is simply nothing that can be done to get us to revisit that place. My step mom and I are on a mission to post this on our facebook pages, Google plus pages and to encourage everyone to share it with as many people as possible. We have already told many friends and co-workers about our experience and all of them without hesitation have said they will not visit Austin's or KT's (Both places are owned by the same people). I am also going to email this to the restaurant critic at the Courier-Journal and CC the General Manager of Austin's. When I was a general Manager I had a gift that sat on my desk that was from the CEO of our company it simply said "Rule #1 The customer is always right", Rule #2 "When in doubt, refer back to rule #1." It was simple, but it reminded me every day of who was paying my salary. Pulled from Austin's website: "Thanks again for visiting our website. Come see us soon and experience Contemporary Southern Cuisine with Old Fashioned Southern Hospitality." and "Management We are currently accepting resumes for experienced Manager's" I can certainly see why... P.S. Unlike their manager, in my correspondence with Austin’s I included my home address, home phone number, cell phone number, e-mail address and blog address. Please repost and share... *to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms*

Bluesman Hubert Sumlin, guitarist for Howlin’ Wolf, dies at 80 - Chicago Sun-Times

Bluesman Hubert Sumlin, guitarist for Howlin’ Wolf, dies at 80 - Chicago Sun-Times

Nashville 110311

Now playing: Mofro - Whitehouse via FoxyTunes

Destin 2011

Forth of July Playlist...

Chuck Berry - Back in the USA

Amos Lee - Freedom

Shooter Jennings - 4th of July

The BoDeans - Freedom

Smashing Pumpkins - Geek USA

The Byrds - Chimes of Freedom

The Beach Boys - Surfing U.S.A.

Crosby Stills and Nash - Find the Cost of Freedom

John Mellencamp - R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A.

Dave Matthews Band - Cry Freedom

Steve Miller Band - Living in the U.S.A.

Junior Brown - Freedom Machine

Bruce Springsteen - 4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)

Keith Urban - Freedom's Finally Mine

Funkadelic - One Nation Under a Groove

Lenny Kravitz - Freedom Train

Soundgarden - 4th of July

Luther Allison - Freedom

U2 - 4th of July

Rage Agianst the Machine - Freedom

Bruce Springsteen - Born in the U.S.A.

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - First Flash of Freedom

X - 4th of July

Toots Hibbert - Freedom Train

Lucinda Williams - Metal Firecracker

Martina McBride - Independence Day

John Mellencamp - Justice and Independence

U2 - Freedom for My People

Black Keys White River State Park 61011

The Black Keys brought their brand of lo-fi, blues based garage rock to Indianapolis's White River State Park on Friday June 10th, 2011. While I am not sure that this performance would have won over any new converts to the band, judging by the reaction of the faithful that were in attendance that evening, everyone seemed pleased with the show.

Opening the show was Booker T (of Booker T and the MG's fame). It's good to see a legend like Booker T back to recording and touring. It had been 28 years since Booker T had released a studio recording until 2009's Potatoe Hole (with the Drive by Truckers). Booker T gave a solid performance, offering up material from his new album, "The Road to Memphis" as well as material from his days at Stax Records including: "Green Onions", "Take me to the River", "Hold on, I'm Comin" and closing with "Time is Tight".

But this night belonged to The Black Keys. Their most recent album "Brothers" has launched the group into a larger audience than ever before, winning Grammys in 2010 for "Tighten Up" (Best Rock performance by a duo or group with vocal), and Best Alternative Music Album, for "Brothers". ("Brothers" was also Rolling Stone Magazine's #2 Best Albums of 2010.) Not bad for a group that recorded their first two albums in drummer Patrick Carney's basement on an eight track tape recorder.

I admit I came around late to the group, but felt "Brothers" was a solid offering and wanted to see what a Drummer and Guitar Player Duo could do in a live setting. Let's just say their live shows are like the Black Keys music, minimalistic and straight forward, no frills rock and roll. Except for a huge Mirror Ball during "Everlasting Light" and a large grid of lights that spelled out "The Black Keys" during their closing numbers, there were no special effects. Not a lot of audience participation either, just a steam roller hour and a half set I don't think anyone would want to get in the way of.

The playing of the older songs first with just Dan Auerback on guitar and Patrick Carney on drums, then later adding bassist Nick Movshon and Keyboardist Leon Michaels for the newer songs, did away with the awkwardness some artist struggle with of trying to mix the old material with the new. While some of the older die hard fans may have been aghast at the adding of bass and keyboards, true artist grow, evolve, and challenge themselves. Simply put, there's a reason "Brothers" has won the accolades it has.

Highlights of the set included: "Busted", "Everlasting Light", "Howling for You", Booker T sitting in on "Ten Cent Pistol" (My personal favorite of the evening) and "Tighten Up" on which Dan Auerbacmk's voice was stellar.

The question becomes, what do you do with a band that never planed on making it this big? How do you allow them to reach their new audience while remaining true to themselves and their music? I really don't have the answer to that question, and to be honest, for an hour and a half on a beautiful night outdoors in Indianapolis in June with some good company, I really wasn't worried about it, I just enjoyed the show.

Black Keys, Booker T. White River State Park 061011

Sarah Mclachlan

Misc fall photos...

JJ Grey and Mofro Headliners Louisville KY 10/15

On a beautiful October Friday night JJ Grey and his band-mates Mofro brought their funky brand of southern fried front porch soul to Headliners Music Hall in Louisville KY. JJ's second release for Alligator Records, Georgia Warhorse, is a solid offering, showing off the various styles that have earned this band a very loyal fan base. This show featured five songs from the new CD, it's always interesting when a band tries to merge old and new songs together.

For the uninitiated, JJ Grey and Mofro are a hard band to categorize, part Jam Band, part Blues Band, part James Brown meets George Clinton with a killer horn section funk and soul revue type of thing.

It didn't take long to see how the new songs would translate live. The opening number "The hottest spot in hell" was given the full throttle treatment that somehow seems lacking on the CD. As my friend said "I cant believe the difference between these guys live and the CD". The very funky "Dirt Floor Cracker" followed. It seemed obvious the party was on and old and new material could meld seamlessly together.

When people compare JJ's singing style to Otis Redding, it's easy to write it off as hyperbole. Anyone that heard " A Woman" on this night would understand this is simply not the case. Half the battle is simply getting your audience to believe you're passionate about that which you sing, and this is where JJ excels. "You guys came ready tonight", he said to an enthusiastic crowd, who then responded by singing along with the chorus on several occasions.

The Hercules Horns generally provide a powerful punch to Mofro's shows, and this night was no exception. There were stellar solos on "Orange Blossoms", "Everything Good is Bad" and the fan favorite "Ho Cakes". "Georgia Warhorse" the title song from the new CD, was as low down dirty blues as it gets. The encore consisted of two songs "King Hummingbird" (again off the new CD), which is probably better left to JJ's solo acoustic sets than a club setting, and another funky fan favorite "On Fire".

If you like all things southern fried, with healthy side portions of Stax inspired (not ripped off) soul, and some funky horns for a sweaty good time, go see these guys live. As another person in our group said "They're fun".

The problem with uncategorizable bands is, no matter how passionate and talented, the record companies don't ever seem to know how to market them to their appropriate audience, so breaking out to a mainstream audience is very difficult. Meanwhile the Justin Biever's and Jonas Brothers of the world get rich, while talented bands like JJ Grey and Mofro are relegated to sweating out a living on the road touring relentlessly. Somehow I get the impression JJ and his band mates don't really mind. As JJ would say... "ba bap a lam bap a lam...on fire...."

JJ Grey and Mofro 10-15-10 Headliners Louisville

Moreland and Arbuckle Garvin Gate Blues Festival 2010

Hullabalou...

Hullabalou 2010

Easter Weekend 2010

More Truth...

Now playing: Bob Marley- Could you be loved via FoxyTunes

Da Truth...

My Hero

One...U2 Mary J Blige

Now playing: Martina McBride - Oh Holy Night via FoxyTunes

What needs to be said?

Fall Break Trip...