gotta love em...Ornery ass.
"Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person." - Paul Coelho.
Monday, July 7, 2014
One's still?
Damn girl lol.
E-mail I just sent Nicholas follows:
(and I am not that smart lol, I've made a ton of bad decisions, more intuitive these days than anything but hey, if you think I am intelligent? Who am I to argue :-)?)
Relax about what is about to happen. You have never had to share your time with me with someone else and now you are about to have to.
Our fear of what lies ahead is most times worse than what actually does lay in wait for us. It will all be okay, I promise you. She is not only an amazing woman but one of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life. You will have a better life in the long run than I could have ever provided for you by myself. We can and will go do the coolest shit ever, all of us, as a family, what I have always wanted my whole life and never had. She never really had a dad, you never really had a mom, I never really had a family. We are all three, in some respects, going to get some of our wishes.
Always keep in mind that there will be times when it will be just me and her going and doing things without you. Likewise, when you make new friends, you are at the age where you are going to rather be with them than be with us. It's just life, happening, right in front of us. I told you a while back the only thing constant in life is change. I'm sure granny, grandpa, grandma Janet, Christen etc never thought this day would come. But it's here. They have made their peace with it. So should you.
I'm 49 years old, I finally knew what I wanted and wasn't about to let someone of her caliber just walk away, from me, from you, from us. Two and a half more years and the world is your oyster. I just want you to be happy. We will provide for you and ensure you always have a place to call home if needed. Just don't ever worry about it.
I love you, relax, it's all going to be okay. Promise.
Just wanna
make sure.
I've asked several times and you said yes each time correct?
Gotta head out.
Freaking storms.
Another 400+ mile trip you're gonna miss out on come next Tuesday.
Sucks to be you.
Bahahahahahahahaha
I gotta silver boot key chain and some DMB earbubs and a CD.
What am I to worry about Lucy?
Nuthin...absolutely nuthin...
Love you.
Ornery ass...
Did
somebody say "Assman"?
Bahahahahahahahahahaha
Don't think I don't know thats you in Skype, your lil "hey" just gives you away...
real woman...ummmmhummmm still waiting...
Happiness
is waking up to see my last post has a three:-).
I keep telling you it don't take much.
Love you Ornery Ass.
Ready to start that next phase of life sweetheart.
Tired of waiting.
Something tells me I know whats up with all these rude women at church all the sudden.
Word is out.
No way that many turn all at once without something being up.
Whatever, their problem.
Small town.
Small minds.
Small talk.
Better than that.
Bout to show some people.
Talking to Alan Wed after he has choir practice.
Telling him everything I know.
Telling him why I can't step foot back in that church.
Mom said Brother Bill walked right by her yesterday and didn't say a word to her.
Twice!
She called him out the second time, told him she didn't appreciate it.
I told her good for her.
Told her that if she was going to continue to go to that church she needed to protect herself emotionally and call rude people out on their behavior otherwise she would end up blowing up when it's least appropriate.
Told her it wouldn't take two or three times and people would get the point.
People listen to old church women now.
You go around making them mad and people listen.
Nicholas is back to "We don't do anything" whining crap.
I've asked the boy to go to Sunday night of Forecastle with me twice now.
Both times he acts like he could care less.
I don't beg anybody to go with me anywhere.
If he is not gung-ho about it?
Why should I wanna drag him around, pay his way and just have somebody there to drag me down/ruin my good time?
"Theres no EDM there."
Well no shit Sherlock, welcome to the world.
You would think he could go and people watch and enjoy the freak show but no, he wants to whine and bitch about "We don't do anything."
I've been wanting to see Dwight Yokum for 20+ years now.
Beck is closing the show Sunday night.
Oh the horror of it all for him.
He is worried about having to share his dad.
Feels like I am pushing him away.
I just want him to be happy.
To be able to contribute to the family and help with household chores.
We can all go do cool stuff together, thats fine with me.
Long as he understands there will be times when it has to be just me and you.
Really had enough of the homogeneity, illiteracy, abject racism and general redneck unenlightened, uneducated attitudes that surround us.
This place aint for us anymore Lucy.
Ready to roll.
My heart aint here sweetheart.
Somebody stole it over two years ago
ttys.
Sunday, July 6, 2014
But
"All
I care about is that Nicholas is my best man...
you walk to "Here comes my girl" by Tom Petty...
and we ride off on the bike...
at least for show...
suit, dress, everything...
Other than that?
However you wanna do it sweetheart, I really don't care."
it would be nice to know
when?
Maybe I wanna have a lil sun?
Trim the mustache?
Oh
yeah, I told him he was being a lil prick and he need to stop.
And that if he needed to talk then he should come talk...
If he does it will be later or shit will be worked out and if he doesn't then it wasn't that big of a deal to start with...
So
I come home from Lunch at moms and He is asleep.
He slept most of the day.
I just weedeated without him.
Didn't wanna wait, it was all I had to do, I had all day, it wasn't that hot, so I did it.
He said he didn't feel good this AM.
Im sure they were up late at his buddys house.
Anyway.
I get a text about getting him some pepto.
He wakes up, we talk, I make a list, go to the Dollar Store.
"Would you make me a plate?"
I said sure (boy didn't feel god right?)
Anyway this is even before the Dollar Store.
I get home, "Do you want shells and cheese or another side?"
"Shells and cheese" please.
So I make him some shells and cheese and heat up a potato for him.
He sits down at the table and says "I kinda want to eat alone."
I was like after all that?
"Sometimes I just like to be alone." he says.
I got up, I got my bowl of honey nut cheerios yes honey nut fucking cheerios, leave me alone about it, I love trashy cereals, and looked him straight in the eyes and said " It would be nice if you would extend the same courtesy sometimes" which I'm sure judging by his reaction he took offense too.
WooHoo, crisis time...he took offense lol...think he would be used to it by now.
Anyway, he went upstairs and pouted and then came back down and I ate my freakin honey nut cheerios
in the computer room.
I did dishes and went to fold laundry and asked if he wanted to help. He said No cause he was just going to get mad lol...I said "You're going to get mad? ASfter disrespecting me like that at diner?
He just had that I wanna cry cause I know your right and I'm wrong look so bad in his eyes, then he goes upstairs and starts playing with his friends and now all the world is back to fine...
except I'm not with you....
sponge bob time...
Love you.
Nichs
lil moody 15 year old teen angst stitch is getting a lil old.
Might wanna say something to him Lucy.
Tell me
"...But who Jah bless, no one curse;
Thank God, we're past the worse.
Hypocrites and parasites
Will come up and take a bite.
And if your night should turn to day,
A lot of people would run away..." - Robert Nesta Marley.
Tell me about it.
Im
gonna mess your junk up lol.
You're gonna be a mess.
You gonna love it.
You know you are.
Or you wouldn't still be here.
Like I don't know.
Give me a break.
Did I ever mention I get sick of your shit?
Bahahahahahahaha
Love you.
Night.
Not going to church tomorrow.
Taking a few weeks off before I start looking for a new church home.
That shit was ridiculous.
Saturday, July 5, 2014
I
told you I would teach you how to swim.
Main thing is to relax.
Get tired of telling you the same thing over and over lol.
Lets be clear and I aint talking bout swimming anymore, everyone is in charge of taking care of themselves for the benefit of all parties concerned.We pitch in and help each other out from time to time, but we each take care of ourselves as a way to show the others how much we love and appreciate them.
Okay
so I am starting to care about when somewhat lol.
Tell you what I told Carol to tell Joannas attorney, "So sue me."
Bahahahahahahahaha.
Morning
Ornery ass.
Takin it easy today.
Mowin grass in a bit.
Smokin some ribs.
Thats gonna be about it.
Love you.
Hate wakin up without you.
Threes and such :-).
Nice.
ttyl.
Friday, July 4, 2014
Yeah...
"What ever happened to makin you my lil bitch anyway?
Where did that go?
Where are those boobies pictures?
What happened to those?"
what happened to
that?
Morning
beautiful Ornery ass lol.
Know how I can tell you love me?
You can't stay mad at me either :-).
Love you.
Headin Home.
Are you ever gonna give me a chance to paint your toenails?
I would you know.
Love you.
I
love you.
With all my heart and soul.
I wouldn't be this passionate if I didn't.
But ya gotta cut me some slack Lucy.
Need to know were gonna be husband and wife sweetie.
Cause not knowing?
Bout to send me over the edge.
Move it along.
Put my mind at ease.
Tony coming.
Gotta move.
Love you.
I
will never be scared to make you mad.
Ever.
You want me to go away?
Say so.
You've already said so plenty of times in the past.
Doesn't seem like one more time would be that big of a fucking deal if you ask me.
Cause
I am about to go out of my ever living fucking mind.
I don't sleep good.
I can't concentrate, etc.
I just can't fucking take it any more.
I
just don't fucking believe you.
You've given me no reason to.
Change it.
I'm waiting.
Like always.
Waiting.
"Two people feel the same way about each other."
Yep, sure seems like it from my perspective.
I told
you.
The longer it goes?
The more frustrated I'll become.
You were warned.
You just can't keep a good man on edge all the time Lucy.
I got lawyers and him and his mom for all that.
Not what your role needs to be sweetheart.
So
fucking hate me.
Block me.
Call the cops.
Get "John" and "Tina" involved.
Get that restraining order.
Cause I honestly just do not give a fuck at this point what you do, cause no matter what I do?
You don't do anything.
You
can talk to everyone else in the world, all my friends and family but not me?
I'm sorry, but just WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
You're
fucking ridiculous.
If this is how it is going to be?
I don't want any part of it.
Not worth sacrificing my peace of mind that yes, at one time, I did have.
I've
never cheated!
A recent breakup?
Like when?
Two years ago?
What the fuck else do you expect a man to do to show you he wants to be with you?
Get it together woman.
I
can not relax.
I can not breathe.
Why don't you fucking people ever listen to me?
My heart and my mind have had enough!
The
only thing I want in the world and she won't say whats going on to me.
Nice.
Makes a man feel great I tell ya.
Just makes him feel 10 feet tall.
Keep
hanging in there.
Just keep hanging.
Almost there.
Pay off is comin.
More than you ever expected.
Just a lil longer.
Almost.
Promise.
Seriously, almost there.
just like all the others from what I see Lucy...
no difference what so ever...
it never comes...
they just laugh at your face and skip away happy as could be just like you never meant nothing to them...
cause honestly?
You never did.
They just made you feel that way so they could pull the rug out from underneath you.
Seen this song and dance one to many times...
I
feel like you and Nicholas get frustrated with me and I'm like, "What in the hell do you people expect?"
That you guys can just have your lil running ongoing joke at my expense and I'm just supposed to accept it and not get frustrated about things?
Lil henpecked "Oh yes dear, anything you want dear" just aint me Dollbaby.
I like a sweet note every once in a while too you know?
A lil attention?
Not a post view either, some real world, honest to god one on one attention.
The
fact of the matter is I haven't asked and you haven't said yes and none of it matters till you say "I do."
Another fucking school year in this shit hole.
It wasn't on the agenda.
It wasn't the plan.
I can't take this place much longer.
Or New Age Technologies.
My fucking head feels like it is about to explode.
and people wonder why people smoke?
Well, we can't very well grow Prozac in our yard now can we?
Like
were ever even gonna fucking go...
tired of your fucking bull shit...
move it along or go the fuck away and quit talking to Nicholas.
Hope
you enjoy the Makers pics.
I gotta headache to go with my heartache.
"All relationships go through adjustment periods but being hurt shouldn't be part of being in love."
could have fooled me Lucy.
If
I don't have Nich flippin out at home about something (mostly shity internet) I got you not talking to me and a ex's lawyer wanting me to pay her lol...
and people wonder why I wanna ride 400 when I get a chance...
come walk a mile in my shoes...
people don't know...
they just have no idea...
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Two's
yea!
I'm thrilled.
Always said it didn't take much lol.
Tired of being without you.
Tired of doing cool shit for going on years now and all the time I am like "I wish she was here."
It's okay, Dave, James, Chad.
But it's not who I want to be with.
We should have been swimming those swimming holes already this summer.
It just hurts.
I mean it hurts my very being down to my bones to be away from you.
Every second I could have.
Thats what I wanted.
We're not having all of them that we could have.
Either one of us could be gone tomorrow.
I want you now.
I wanted you two years ago.
I just knew...
This sucks...
When
I see you walking down my sidewalk to "Here come my girl" I'll believe you.
Not a moment before.
Been let down too often by too many.
Two
fucking years I been talking to a computer screen.
No wonder people think I am nuts.
And you wanna talk about trust issues?
Nobody ever seems to think or worry about me or how I am holding up or how I am doing.
Not trying to have a pitty party.
Just saying it gets fucking old.
Why don't ya show me something lil miss 883some?
Well
for the love of God when then?
I didn't want to go through another school year without you.
Last year about killed me.
Oh...
so you already said yes?
Now I get it.
Well how the hell am I supposed to know without you saying lol?
I got a headache.
Between you and Nich I don't know which side is up anymore.
You
can make that last one a three.
I'm just always on edge not knowing with you.
It comes out and it adversely affects others around me.
I don't like it.
Well...
Will you marry me Lucy?
Will you make me the happiest man in the world?
Could you be the sexiest most bad assed step-mom that ever lived lol?
Would you help me finish raising my son?
I
just have a real hard time sometimes, dealing with Nich (lol, go figure, lord help me if you two ever gang up on me), wanting resolution with his mother and knowing, in no uncertain terms that I am going to be your husband. I know it's worth it, I know we will be together soon enough but juggling all three of these issues just gets to be overwhelming at times.
You can keep the comments coming about weddings, fishing etc...
Love you Lucy.
In
"When we gonna go ridin anyway?
I mean like you know...
Forever?"
need of some rectal cranial inversion therapy are we?
Why
don't you just walk around the rest of the day and think about that last text there numbnuts.
Needless to say I woke up with something for you this afternoon.
Tired of doing your job for ya there Lucy.
ttys.
Love you.
"...And..."
"...And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding..."
Good
things happen when you least expect it huh?
Like I say, I'll believe it when I see it.
I don't expect anything other than to do a good job, take care of Nich, ride, and have a good time.
Other than that?
No expectations.
None.
Just easier that way.
I'll
believe it when I see it.
Bald...with my name on her.
That shit is mine.
All mine.
Period.
End of story.
I
"Money and freedom is the best way to change,
may you be rich and continue to help other people.'
don't care about money and I am already about as free a spirit as you will ever find.
You got anything else to offer there missy?
I thought
I told you to bring your shit over here or shut the fuck up about it?
Bahahahahahahahahaha
Go to bed.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
You
missed it yesterday on the Kentucky Bourbon Trail at Makers Mark Distillery lil One.
Maybe you'll go back with me when they open the barrel that has my name on it?
Renowned Artist Dale Chihuly's glass masterpiece at Makers Mark Distillery
Our trip yesterday
This is from Chads GPS tracker so you can add on the miles from my house to where we met and then when I took at left at US 60 at the top of the hill in Muldraugh. (381 miles by my count) I know you know where it's at knucklehead, know you went to school there. (Radcliff).
Your
knees bout to become real good friends with your ears if you know what I mean.
Now go make me a sandwich.
Bahahahahahahahahaha.
Just kiddin bout the sandwich part, you know me better than that lol.
Oh
"You don't fool me. You never have. If you honestly feel the way you said you do, no way you let me get away..."John"...lol...I'm bout to text you here in a bit, and if you wanna go file a complaint, well then you just go right ahead...9000 text later she feels scared for her safety from somebody that don't know where she is?...It's a crock of bull...just like all the times before...You're funny..."
It's amazing how I can just see right through peoples bull shit these days.
"...And I don't scare easy
Don't fall apart
When I'm under the gun
You can break my heart
And I ain't gonna run
I don't scare easy
For no one..."
So
while Chad and I were having lunch at the Wigwam village yesterday :-). Yes we actually sat at a picnic table in their lil semi circle and pulled it over near a tree and sat down and had lunch :-). I always check my phone when I take a break from riding. Anyway there was an email from Carol regarding this mess with Nichs mom. It was actually an e-mail from Joannas lawyer that had been sent to Carol and Carol asked me to respond so she would know how to proceed.
Pretty much the letter from Joanna's lawyer stated that she had yet to be paid regarding any of this and that her clients tax return had been intercepted and wanted to remind me of the "verbal agreement" that we had over a year ago in which back child support would be waived if Joanna signed over her rights, which she never did. I told Carol on multiple occasions to take that deal off of the table as I would never sign it or agree to it. Anyway, basically Joanna's lawyer wants me to give Joanna back the tax return money that was intercepted so that Joanna can pay her.
Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...
I about fell out...
I waited a day to calm down, then sent Carol the following response:
I'm gonna try and be polite and humorous at the same time and I hope you will understand and take things in the right manner :-):
I just wanna make sure I got this right. I am supposed to abide by the terms of a supposed "verbal agreement" from a year ago while her client gets to ignore the last written agreement that has been entered into the record?
Not happening. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever.
I'll tell you, I'll tell Candi, I'll tell a judge, I'll stand in front of god almighty with him throwing lightening bolts at me and not so much as flinch or waiver one inch. Ever.
Tell Candi I said sue me :-). That way she can spend even more of her time working on these matters while not getting paid for any of it.
Tell her I'll rot in jail before I pay anybody (yes, you included, sorry) one more penny in regards to these matters.
Tell her I don't know which I want worse at this point, Joanna to sign her rights away or to see her explain to a judge why I have to honor some supposed year old "verbal agreement" while her client doesn't have to honor the terms of the last agreed order.
Tell Candi I want to see the results of Joanna’s psych eval lol.
Tell her we upheld our end, Nicholas got his counseling. Four sessions at $100. a pop. Tell Candi I fully expect to be reimbursed her clients 25% of that total ($100), in addition, I believe I have some Dentist and Dr Bills for Nicholas her client needs to reimburse us for as well.
Tell her the money has already been spent on repairs to the 70 year old farm house that provides my son shelter and on repairs to my 12 year old truck that has 188,000 miles on it that hauls my 15 year old son around.
Tell her I will be more than glad to explain all of this to Judge Keown.
Tell her I said she knew that her client did not pay her last attorney yet she willingly took her on as a client. Why in the world did she ever expect for this to end any different than it did for the other attorney?
Tell her I said this is what happens when you compromise your integrity and take on clients that you know deep down inside you shouldn't while looking for an easy dollar.
Tell her I said her client knew well over a year ago (before these matters ever started) that her back child support was set up for intercept through her income tax return. The notion that Candi would have been paid when her client got her taxes back is laughable, besides, my son comes first.
I said it a year ago when these matters first started, I'll say it again just so we can all be clear.
1) This matter is over.
2) He will never spend another moment with his mom ever. Ever.
3) Joanna will pay every last penny she owes in back child support till the day she signs away her parental rights.
These terms are non-negotiable. Period.
Joanna has herself in a pickle. She can sign her rights away and not owe any more child support from that day forward, or she can continue to owe child support and owe her attorneys fees as well. Her choice. Not my concern. It is how it will be.
I've been pushed around and had my good nature taken advantage of for well over 12 years now. No more. I've learned civil orders aren't worth the paper they are written on. Somebody wants to hold me in contempt? Of what? Let 'em. I'm shakin in my shoes.
To summarize, I am more than content to let these matters fester for another two and a half years and continue to intercept the next three years of her clients tax returns if thats what it takes.
My advice to Candi and keep in mind this is coming from someone who actually lived with this piece of trash client of hers for three years, is to turn her bill over to a collection agency and make her peace with it, she will never see a penny.
Tell Candi one last thing for me, tell her I once heard a very wise man say "You ought not go hanging around skunks and think you’re not going to get sprayed every once in a while." Candi got "sprayed", seems like just deserts if you ask me.
Tell her I've been waiting for this day, I knew it would come, it always does sooner or later.
This matter has become beneath my dignity and not worth my time at this point. All I want to hear going forward is "Andrew, we got some papers for you to sign, Joanna finally signed away her rights." That’s it. I really don't want to hear, nor will I be a party to anything else at this point. Like I said, sue me, all I am guilty of is raising a pretty fine young man without incident for over 12 years.
Candi’s letter was an insult to my intellect as well a waste of the time it took to read it.
The two things that absolutely infuriate me the most both accomplished in one fell swoop. Nice job councilor, all you did was harden my position and strengthen my resolve.
There, I believe that was responded to "appropriately" and that was after cooling down for 24 hours.
Regards,
:-).
I promised you I sent it :-). just like that, word for word. Keep in mind Carol and I are friends, not just client-attorney.
Sweetie, if this is what we are waiting on? To get this resolved? Then, lets go ahead and do it and let the pieces fall were they may cause I don't wanna be without you a second longer and this shit just keeps getting stupider and stupider lol. I'm gonna pay her attorney? Carol even said respond "appropriately". She knows me :-). She already knew what my response was going to be. It's obvious her attorney is fishing for whatever she can get at this point. Wrong lake councilor lol, go somewhere else, I aint bitin.
Lets roll Dollbaby, say the word cause there aint no tellin when this will ever be fully resolved.
Love you.
I
didn't just "see you when you were invisible."
I heard you when you weren't talking as well.
Love you dingle-berry.
Got
rained on bigger than shit lol.
Was five minutes away from shelter.
Figures.
Oh well.
Life is an adventure.
Gotta get set up for my shift.
Be back in a bit.
You
should be so honored as to have a husband with integrity.
And me as well to have a wife with the same.
Say when princess and I'll give you your fairy-tale.
Internet
is back up for now.
Wireless not working lol.
ofcourse lol.
layin back down.
Love you.
ttys.
a nine on the "next thing' post...
give me a break...
you wouldn't believe what her attorney wants lol...
seriously, it's comical...
aint happening...
ever...
I'll rot in jail first (not that that will ever happen but this is just too much..
I'll explain tonight.
This shit is over.
So when e gettin married sweetie?
Be nice to know a date you know?
You missed it yesterday.
Makers was awesome.
Glad I saved them for last.
Morning Ornery ass...
Like I said, bring your shit over here, or shut the fuck up about it already.
Bahahahahahahaha
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Whatsamatter
princess?
Scared to let a bad boy mess your junk up?
Once you have some you're gonna be like, "Shit!, I could have been havin this for two years already?"
Well duh...
Love you.
Headin out.
Peace.
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