you Virgie.
Just tired of being without you.
"...Watch her walk..."
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Ones
Ornery Ass...
why don't you just go to bed?
Your not into this today.
It's obvious.
Love you.
Night.
Blah blah blah...
"It is appropriate time to make a few plans for the
long run annd it's time to be happy..."
I've heard this crap long enough...
Lots
of threes from yesterday :-).
It's nice.
I'd rather wake up with up by my side everyday though :-).
Like...
"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
The third time I walked you to your car.
:-)
"You need kissing badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how."
"What's
up dog?"
First thing I ever remember hearing you say.
It was like I was staring at the phone handset and thinking, "Who is this woman? She talks like I do."
We needed access to the virtual power button to bring back a server after patch.
Needed a lot of them actually.
Not only did you give us access you went ahead and brought the servers back.
Chad and I were like, "Wow, there you go, like that."
Only makes sense right?
You're in the console.
You're giving access.
Why not go ahead and press the button and bring it back online yourself while you're there?
Four and a half years here just about and you're the only one to have ever done that.
See why I am ready to bolt?
lol.
Oh
some threes and fours and such...
Well woo-hoo I'm just thrilled Dollbaby...
Now about that dress...
Monday, September 29, 2014
I've
had three people tell me in the past week that if they came into a large windfall they would help people if they could...well duh...
Nicholas going around the house Friday "bout to GTFO..." (Get the fuck outta here...)
Christian asking how long I've known him for...
Alan talking about a wedding of "Two crazy people" cause the main thing they wanted was not to see each other before the wedding...
Commercial came on for jaguar, lease payment was like "Only $729." Alan said "Yeah, only..." I said, "Yeah, at that price I'll take four of them."...he just sat there like, dude, you just may...
Meanwhile back in my reality we struggle.
Daily.
Week to week.
We struggle.
Have my whole life.
Just because you get used to something doesn't mean it doesn't suck Lucy.
Mind starting to wonder on me again.
Is this really real?
Is it really happening?
Wish I knew.
I don't know whats up, think I got a pretty good guess but I really don't know or can't say.
I do know all I care about at this point is seeing you in that dress, walking toward me (with Nich by my side), Tom Petty playin...not a dry eye to be had anywhere.
Thats it.
It's all I care about.
Everything else will manage to take care of itself someway.
All this nonsense SMC bullshit they got us doing?
Just made worse by knowing were not going to be here much longer.
Just want it to stop.
Adam has "A wedding to do" on Oct.18th.
James talking about going to a wedding with his gf, somebody from her work, neither of them knowing anybody that will be there that much.
Alan yesterday with his comments yesterday.
Love you Virgie.
Just want my mind at peace sweetheart.
Just
want my wife...
Tired of grinding it out alone when I know she want me as bad as I do her.
All this waiting is getting really really old...
Itinerary
Let me tell you about this thing in my dream the other day.
First of all, the first thing I see when I open my eyes is what I believe to be somebodies personal assistant, looking like a stewardess that just got off of a Korean Airlines fight.
"Good morning Mr. Hollifield, here is your itinerary." I was a lil dazed, like "Huh?" I mean I'm still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and here is this woman handing me this thing? I take it, first thing is, it's laminated...freaking laminated lol...I mean who comes up with this stuff? List of dates and times and places and suggested menu offerings and apparel..."Blah blah blah...prawns with...locally caught etc...Tuxedo acceptable, White jacket preferred...blah blah blah..."
We were in some posh upscale hotel, you know, softer bed and sheets and pillows than I have ever laid on in my life I say excuse me for a minute and walk into the bathroom, there you are :-), about three dozen towels all wrapped around you, your hair, your body..."Honey?" "Yeah sweetie" "What the fuck is this?"
and then I woke up lol...
IT WAS LAMINATED! lol...
Whatever, I got a kick out of it :-).
Love you Virgie.
Sure
are a lot of comments being left these days.
They seem a little longer as well.
Be glad when someone can explain them to me :-).
Great ride in.
Love you.
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Morning
Sunshine.
Slept 10 hours :-).
That never happens lol.
Had a dream about you.
You started having people talk on the phone when I would call.
Then one day you just showed up at my work.
Not Kindred, don't know where it was.
You looked like a million bucks.
Hair all done up,
Summer dress.
Walked in like you owned the joint lol.
Heads were turning everywhere.
I looked up and was like "Oh shit, it's her" lol.
You walked right over to me and said "I like you, I like your style, a lot,"
I just grabbed you and gave you the biggest hug.
"Well I like you too."
Only other thing I remember is sometime later I was laying in bed and there was a laminated itinerary for me to go over.
Something about a business trip to New York.
I didn't have half the clothes on it I needed.
Diner 7 PM, white jacket blah blah blah...
I went to the bathroom where you were in a towel getting ready.
I was like "Honey, theres a problem..."
You said "Don't worry about it..."
Okay.
Deal.
How about I just don't worry about it?
Sounds lik a plan,.
Lunch at moms.
Football.
Chillin at the house.
Don't get much better.
My Aunt Connie and Uncle Ed were in town yesterday.
Always good to see them.
Uncle Fred and Aunt June came over to moms to visit as well.
Good times.
Love you Virgie.
Be awesome today.
Like you can help it.
ttys
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Morning
dingleberry.
Made breakfast.
Bacon biscuits. Coffee.
Folded laundry.
Gonna wash the bike, go to the store and then chill all day.
Love you.
Maybe I should post a pic on Instagram more often lol.
Took
Nich and his friend for pizza.
Came home.
Sponguebob and a glass a bourbon and a nap lol.
I'm such a wild man lol.
Well.
Sometimes.
Not tonight.
Christian wanted me to go out to marks with him for a bit.
Just got home.
Callin it a day.
Love you.
Night.
Friday, September 26, 2014
RUMI
Whatever happens to you, don’t fall in despair. Even if all the doors
are closed, a secret path will be there for you that no one knows. You
can’t see it yet but so many paradises are at the end of this path. Be
grateful! It is easy to thank after obtaining what you want, thank
before having what you want.
Morning
Ornery ass...
Threes and fours and fives...
Nice.
Taking Nich and a friend to Tell City to get pizza.
Love you.
Gotta get
Tony be here in a few.
Didn't somebody say something once about somebody riding on the back of his bike to DMB?
Love you.
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Wow...
quick with the twos we are tonight ;-).
Why dont you hit me up in Skype or something lol?
Like you will.
"She's got everything..."
"...She's got everything delightful, she's got everything I need,
A breeze in the pines and the sun and bright moonlight, lazing in the sunshine yes
indeed..."
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Ones...
Ornery Ass...
Nich has been very chill of late.
Good.
Needed it.
Granny goes to Branson and doesn't mention a show or a restaurant?
Janet is redoing her will.
I just can't figure it out Lucy?
What in the world is going on?
Bahahahahahaha
"...We
could have high times if she's abide..."
Who else you're thinking right?
Lets see...
Nobody else...
Thats who.
Love you.
Why
do I get the distinct feeling that a bonfire might just be accompanying this lil shindig thats about to take place :-)?
Morning
again Ornery Ass.
Indigo Violet lookin good.
Share something in private for once would ya?
Love you.
Headin out in a few.
ttys.
Nichs
alarm didn't go off.
Throws off our whole day lol.
Going back to bed.
Get to ride in :-).
Beautiful day.
Love you.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
I
had the best day I've had in a bit :-).
Gone from 10:30 till 5.
300+ miles.
Besides some city streets in Bowling Green?
Nowhere I hadn't already been.
Nothing I haven't already seen.
Still didn't matter.
Had a blast.
Looked and felt great doing it as well.
People call me sir all the sudden a lot more these days.
Came home, built a fire.
It's so rough without you lol.
Just don't know what I would ever do without you.
Bahahahahahahaha
Mom went to Branson on Aunt Connie's dime and then comes home and doesn't tell me about one show or restaurant.
That dog don't hunt.
I told you all along it didn't.
Wish you were with me today.
Love you.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Mornin...
Knucklehead...
I mean beautiful...
I mean ornery ass...lol.
Five hours sleep, not bad.
Feel good.
Got oil changed.
Dave is coming over for football.
Nichs good.
Chad comin down tomorrow.
Goin ridin.
All damn day lol.
Love you.
ttys.
Unreal...
She was kind and lovely and beautiful, the kind of soul you wanted to keep close, she was a dreamer, a creator of her world, a writer - her thoughts the canvas and her words painted pictures as if she was making love to every moment, she was quiet yet willful, she had these ages in her eyes that reflected centuries of wisdom but for those with shallow sight she looked like she wasn't old enough to know anything, she was everything and nothing, her love of life was so unique, she was the type of person you dreamed of getting close to but rarely did she let anyone in, she was an observer, a contemplator, she had intention in every move she made, she was wild and free spirited she really never wanted to fit in, she was pure and untainted like a newborn when it takes it's first breath, she was whole and secure but best of all of her qualities was the way she made others feel when they were near her, she was accepting, non judgmental, she allowed you to be yourself, she loved that about people, that pure unapologetic expression of who you truly are without any reason to explain yourself, without worry or fear that someone may not love you for you, yeah she loved that about those who were brave enough to love themselves enough not to conform, not to pretend or dim the light with themselves, those who have not surrendered, she loved them unconditionally because she she loved herself in that same way. There is something about the souls who truly enjoy who they are, they express a level of peace and beauty that goes far past what the naked eye can ever truly see. ~Will "Story" Rivera
Love you.
Night.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Yeah
it did...
What were you sayin bout a year and a half ago about wanting a romance that would rival any fairy tale?
Or Romance novel?
Somethin like that.
As
a matter of fact by the time this shindig comes to fruition, I'll be able to take two days off, so have Alan let me know in plenty of time and I'll call Kenny.
Ya don't say...
Most of conflicts and tensions are due to language. Don't pay so much attention to the words. In love’s country, language doesn't have its place. Love's mute.
RUMI
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Ones...
you're awful lol...
Ornery Ass...
Nice pic of sporstergirl today...
Did I mention I was tired of screenshots?
Told
James about fighting with Nicholas.
He said, "Tell him you'll send him off to a reform school if he doesn't start acting right."
I said "He knows I can't afford that." James just looked at me like, "Oh yeah, you can't tell him that yet."
They give you away by not trying to dingleberry lol.
Mom said she could tell he doesn't wanna let me down.
Good enough.
Cause if he didn't care one way or another about that?
That would have been very very ugly.
Love you.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Alan
I want Alan to call me.
"Dude, do you trust me?"
"Yeah man, you know I do."
"No, I mean do you really really trust me?"
"Yes Alan, I really do."
"Call in today and quit your job."
"You're serious?"
"Yes. Do it. Don't worry about anything."
"Okay, you got it."
My last
day here?
I don't wanna work it.
Feel like I deserve that.
My lil part of the fairy-tale.
Right?
Just don't wanna.
Wanna be rested.
Wanna be prepared mentally and physically for wats about to take place.
Wanna look and feel as good as I ever have.
It's what you deserve.
I don't wanna work it.
Already told Chad.
He understands.
Now days?
Our Holiday Pay?
Calculated as a performance bonus.
Taxed at a higher rate.
Saves New Age money.
What kind of fucks are so cheap that they try and take $6 out of your Holiday pay?
I've fucking had it here.
Can't take it.
Pointless to try and do a good job.
Love you.
Peace.
I
can do tired...I can do hungry...but I can not do tired and hungry...and I don't mean rice cakes either...real food.
Ornery ass...
Bahahahahahaha
Three patch cycles I've sat in this room on since you almost let it be known whats going on.
Red.
Beet red.
Promise.
Tryin...
She gotta become my wife first :-).
RUMI
I asked "why I received only this " ? A voice replied, "only This will lead you to That."
Love you Virgie.
Be awesome today.
Layin back down.
Night
Thursday, September 18, 2014
It's the truth...
"...I think
of you when I wake up.
I think about you all day.
I think about you when I go to bed.
I dream about you when I sleep..."
No matter what happens.
I always will.
Its just the way it is.
Promise
RUMI
God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites so that you will have two wings to fly, not one.
Morning Sunshine
So that was you as well lil miss sporstergirl?
Nice.
Feel great :-).
Finally lol.
Fuck getting shit done lol, just slept.
We will get some things done here in a bit,
Love you.
(Like the pageviews I'm seein but yeah, we've been down this road before you know?)
Pichicuas
Really now?
Well why don't you send me something user to user then :-)?
He got up and made a quesadilla for breakfast.
Good.
Things are a lot less tense.
I didn't sleep a wink.
Going back to bed.
Feel fine.
Just need to sleep.
Get him this afternoon, go to granny's and get the other weed eater so we can knock out the weed eating together.
Shouldn't take so long.
Hopefully its the last time of the year.
Grilling chicken, mashed potatoes and either corn or green beans for dinner.
Gonna smoke or grill him a whole chicken for this weekend.
No need to go to the ATT store in Tell City.
He has skype and KIK on grandpa's old phone he gave him.
Good enough for now.
We will make it lol.
Always do.
Love you Sunshine.
Be awesome today.
Peace.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Pichicuas
was that you in the fishnets and thong today?
Nice,
but I want the real fucking thing.
Soon.
Love you.
Night.
I LOVE...
I LOVE 15 YEAR OLDS LOL.
They got all the answers to life as well as all the worlds problems even though they've never so much as been in love or had their hearts shattered, let alone have written a rent or mortgage check or deposited a check into their bank account from an employer lol.
You ready step-moma lol?
I told him I wanted him to do the dishes.
"You want me to do the dishes?" he said in a tone of utter bewilderment.
Wrong move bucko.
I lost it.
I had had enough.
The other day I woke up still not feeling well and all I heard about was a $300 phone he wants.
He got that much laying around here in computer parts that he still needs a processor, memory, a power supply, RAM and an OS for.
I told him to not spend it all.
Can't tell him nuthin'.
He is 15.
"Well now what would you rather have? Bunch of computer parts laying around doing you no good? Or a new phone? Mine cost $25 btw, does everything I need it to."
Just that look from him like you smart ass m^%$#@ f*&^%$ lol.
I love it lol.
Yep :-).
Dat be me.
Like I said, I have no idea where he gets it from lol.
Back to dishes.
"I don't have time."
"Well get off your ass and quit playing video games and then do them!"
"I don't get paid anymore for doing them that was the deal."
"Deals off, thank your mom for that one, dishes still need to be done."
Next time he ever, ever says that to me I am going to ask him if he really thinks I need to pay him for him to help me around here. Dishes and laundry, all I expect and I have yet once in two years to come home and have all the dishes and laundry done, and I mean folded and put somewhere. Having laundry in the dryer for me to fold and another load that needs to be done is not "Having the laundry done."
I told him he was paid for his efforts in terms of food (more on that in a minute), gas, water, electric, clothes, Internet, gas in the truck, taking him where he needs to be on a moments notice etc.
If he wants we can figure up his hours worked on a weekly basis - what he consumes or uses.
I can assure you he would not like the math.
Its simple, if he is still here when he is 18?
We're gonna split room and board.
Period.
His headset to his headphones broke.
Had to go to store and get superglue.
I told him to use duct tape.
Nope, gotta go to the store and get superglue.
Didn't work.
He used duct tape lol.
I had a small fire going.
Just thought it would feel good.
Do I get to enjoy it?
Nope.
Trip to the store followed by the great "Do the dishes" fiasco.
We fought for 30 minutes over 10 minutes worth of dishes.
I told him I didn't wanna hear it.
Ever.
When I ask him to do something I expect him to do it and I don't wanna hear that mouth of his coming up with every excuse in the world why he shouldn't have to.
"Mom kept more food around than you do."
"You bitch about what I buy, you bitch about what I don't buy, you bitch about what I cook, you bitch about what I don't cook."
"I can't stand you, you're annoying."
"Know whats annoying Nicholas? Buying food you said you wanted and then you not eating it, that's whats annoying."
I got on him hard.
Been a while.
I am sorely disappointed in him.
He wants a new $300 phone. He has a trumpet granny gave him. She told him to put it online to sell it.
Do you think he did?
$400 or so just sitting there.
I shouldn't have to do it for him.
It's no different from getting the appliances out of the basement to take to the scrap metal yard for money from his computer.
Same exact thing.
He don't see it like that.
Whatever.
I told him he behaved exactly like his mom and that's what sets me off.
Told him I knew he would deliberately not do dishes or laundry because he knew if it went on long enough it would crawl under my skin and I would just do it.
He didn't like hearing it.
Fucking tough.
Did I ever mention he is a lot more cooperative with everyone else besides me? lol.
Mom said I was the same way.
I asked him, "How many times did you ask how I was feeling the three weeks I was sick?"
Shruggs his shoulder.
"0."
"How many times did you ask if I needed help with anything?"
Shruggs his shoulders again.
"0."
"What was the first thing you said to me this AM?"
"I don't know."
"You said,'Did you get breakfast? Not, "Good to see you, how are you feeling? Love you dad, nope, "Did you get breakfast?"
"I didn't know you were coming."
"You didn't put KIK on grandpas phone like you said you were going to, not my fault."
He doesn't realize how hard he is making it on me by his not helping me out around here.
No excuse for it.
Tired of it.
I thought we were farther along than this.
I need his help and after all the sacrifices I've made for him I shouldn't have to pay him for it.
End of story.
"Needs will be taken care of, wants will be discussed." Thats what Johnny Unitas mom told all her kids shortly after their dad died. 9 kids I think, she worked two jobs, always loved that line.
I told him he either didn't understand or didn't care about what it's like working paycheck to paycheck.
Either that or he knew something I didn't.
"What would I know that you wouldn't?", he asked.
Well I just wonder Lucy.
Told him I would take the trumpet to a pawn shop as he had waited to long and that schools had started and that everyone who needed an instrument already has one.
"Well some schools just started."
"Like where."
"Like down south."
"How do you know?"
"I got a friend in GA, they just started school."
Yeah...right...GA...I bet.
He will, I assure you, go a lot farther out of his way to help you than he ever does me.
He better.
Lord have mercy on who ever upsets baby.
I aint havin it, not from him.
Not from anybody.
All I wanted tonight was to mow the grass and sit by a lil fire.
Apparently?
It was way to much to ask for.
Love you.
Peace, it's all I want, and it's free lol...but it alludes me these days.
Well, peace, love, respect and appreciation...
Thats all I really want.
We will see if things carry over in the AM.
Hopefully not.
PS:
My line is 'You got to let them fail, by letting them make decisions they learn how to make good ones." Chad says 'You gotta let them waller around in the muck a lil bit from time to time'. Lol.
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