Don't

ever pull this shit again.

Ever.

You've done it enough.

I'm sure you know about the consequences of your actions today.

It almost got real bad.

In fact it did get real bad.

I'm done.

I'm a ticking time bomb till somebody tells me whats what.

This will not go away.

If it all falls to pieces so be it.

I will persevere till I find out whats going on.

I stopped by the neighbors today who heard I was retired.

Needless to say it was an interesting story.

At this point I don't care who I piss off or alienate.

Just doesn't matter anymore.

Congratulations on today.

I'm sure this is what your intent was.

NOT!

Nichs at Granny's.

He should stay there for a while.

He is a liability here.

He never wants to help.

It's like pulling teeth.

Tired of picking up after him.

Lazy.

Absolutely no common sense.

Waits till I'm in the middle of washing the bike to start putting his computer together.

Just out of the blue on Sunday evening in the kitchen.

Boxes and screws and parts everywhere.

He can't even keep up with his phone

"Can you help?"

I'm right in the middle of washing the bike.

"No, I can't"

He had walked outside and didn't even see me working on it.

Just totally oblivious to anything that doesn't concern him.

Never bothers to ask or see if I'm in the middle of something.

Just expects me to drop what I'm doing and come help.

Always consumes.

Never produces.

Talks to me like I'm his house niger.

Fuck that.

I gonna miss him lol.

Na, not at first anyway, ain't no fucking way.

Daddy will enjoy the break for a while.

Then I'll miss him.

But not that smart ass mouth.

It went well to not to come to blows.

I was in his face begging him to do something.

Begging him to go outside and just get it settled once and for all.

He don't want any part of it.

Can't say I blame him.

It will happen one day

Soon probably at this rate.

Mom talking bout moving to Nashville relocating.

Nich said he had visited a southern school.

Lady at church ask mom about a trip she took and mom tries to play it off.

Dave saying I belong in Tennessee.

Mom talking about ways to work around selling the house when the time comes.

Cause she knows its near.

Alan starting a new business.

Dave firing up amazon.

Mom and my aunts long lost cousin in Franklin that nobody ever heard of before till this year.

I mean just on and on and on but then when I press the issue about things cause I'm teetering on the edge I'm the bad guy?

After multiple times of me telling people I'm teetering, yet I'm the bad guy.

Al telling me I'm on the right path and to hang in there.

That wasn't about a job. 

Recruiting agency with one job posting.

Really?

Found me on linkedin.

How convenient.

Mom asking me about watching movies with Christian when I hadn't told anyone about it.

Not even Nicholas.

Now how does mom know I'm watching movies at Christians when I hadn't told anyone?

Nobody freaking out.

Nobody saying sell the bike.

Everything just as status quo as could be expected.

But I am the one that's insane.

Well so be it, guess I've always been that way.

Told people and told people and told people.

Ready to snap.

Playin mommy and daddy and chef and drycleaner and taxi and taking care of a house and dealing with him and I just can't handle it anymore.

Just can't.

Been doing it to long.

Nobody ever listens to daddy.

Nobody ever tells daddy it will all be okay soon.

And if they do?

Their version of soon aint what most people would think it was.

Lets just pile more shit on to him he can handle it.

No I can't.

Not anymore enough.

Nobody had an answer for how mom knew I was watching movies with Christian without me telling anyone.

They all everyone drew a blank stare.

Wonder why?

Ain't that hard to figure if you ask me.

Lady that drives him home telling me that Nich told her I was getting married and moving to TN.

Lawyer asking me if I had found someone to take care of me.

But I'm the insane one.

I've lost it.

I don't bring up this stuff to these people.

They bring it to me.

Out of the blue.

But I'm the crazy one.

I fucking know better.

I see cracks and fissures in people stories and they only match up with what I had told someone else.

I saw Nichs smirk at Alex wedding when he was talking about mine.

I saw him crack when I

 told him I was gonna sell the truck.

I know he knows.

I'm not fucking stupid.

This is what pisses me off.

Somebody needs to come clean.

It ain't that hard.

Shits coming unraveled Lucy.

You went a step to far this time.

Sometimes step moms gotta pull it back together.

Know what?

Good luck with that.

If you hadn't did what you did today?

You wouldn't be having to piece it back together sweetheart.

Or don't.

Fuck it whatever at this point.

So was it worth it?

Cause I don't see how it could have possibly been.

Just about cost ya.

I wouldn't pull this shit ever again.

Ever.

Let me know around when or cut off all contact with my family and friends.

It's really pretty simple.

Your call.

Thanks for another sleepless night.

Love those.

Thats what my body needs more of.

Love you.

God Bless you.

Yes I went to church today.

Good Night.