Had

a long talk with your lil buddy.

He was told a lot.

I hope he gets it.

He was told, the evening of the big dinner fiasco:

"I worry about you. If you act like that to your granny then how much respect are you going to give someone that hasn't been there for you and had your back for years? That worries me. If, when you turn 18 that is how you decide you want to behave then that's fine but you see how well it worked out for your mom and her brothers. Don't be surprised (if you behave that way) if the people who have always been there for you all the sudden aren't there any more."

I asked him about why he didn't get the swing out of the storage shed for grandma Janet.

"Shit, I forgot." 

Which judging by his reaction I honestly believe he did. 

Then he goes on to say: "Well she only asked once." 

I told him that's all anybody should ever have to ask him. 

We get tired of asking multiple times only to see what we are asking to be done never happen. 

It's old. 

People have given up and are not bothering to even ask anymore.

"Well, part of PTSD is forgetfulness."

"Don't use it as a crutch, I don't believe for a second that PTSD caused you to forget to get the swing out of storage for Janet and I'll tell you why, because that is indicative of your behavior well before you ever knew about any PTSD, that's why."

Silence.

"Woman gives you a $5000 vehicle and you can't give her 20 minutes of your time?"

"If all we have to do is placate her I don't even want the thing."

I could have lost it. I didn't.

I said:

"Good, because it's not yours, it's mine"

"Cause it's still in your name?"

"Right, and if I decide that I need to sell it to pay off some bills? 

If I determine that's what is in our best interest? Then that's what I will do for us."

Just so you know, these conversations were calm spread out over the course of two days, when things were good between us lol...

I was up at 1 PM to run errands yesterday.

Back down by 6.

Then up at 9 only to be just spent.

I told him that the whole reason I was physically exhausted was due to the events the previous evening and that I just can not have that kind of stress and drama around me.

I just can't.

He knows this.

We all just need to take a chill pill lol.

I told him about the time I got a -5 on an algebra 2 test.

Yep.

Missed the extra credit.

-5.

I was already failing the class.

Next day I was in Civics.

I'll never forget sitting there waiting for this test result.

It was like something out of a movie.

Comes flying down over my left shoulder.

-5.

In red ink.

In a red circle lol.

Was it the end of the world?

No.

Did it seem like it might be at the time?

Sure.

I told him about a friend of mine.

One son of his is attending a very prestigious school.

His other son is in community college.

My buddy's wife is worried about him.

My buddy's response?

"He is smart, he will figure it out. he will go on to get his degree or he will join the military, don't worry so much about it."

Exactly.

My point is, it is one grade in one class in High school.

If he gets a D?

Then he gets a D.

He will graduate.

He will move on.

So will we.

I told him me to tell me early on if there was a problem with a class so I could know that it was coming and not just get blindsided.

Told him to just tell granny and grandpa that he would struggle to get a C but he was doing all the study sessions and working with the teacher to improve.

"So lie?"

"Whatever you gotta do to keep the peace, cause that is the greater good. tell me up front whats going on, but just tell them you are struggling and you are working on it."

"Okay."

"Let me ask you this, was it worth all the stress and drama yesterday?

For anybody involved?"

"No. It wasn't"

"Exactly, not for any of us it wasn't. It's just not worth it. Just keep me up to date early on if you are struggling."

I also told him that he has a better chance of being an NFL player than to be the next Deadmou5e.

Would I be encouraging him to try to make the NFL?

Probably not.

Fine line here between letting your child have dreams and making sure they understand what they are up against.

I told him if that's what he wanted, go for it, just make sure and have a backup plan.

As in a business mgmt degree to manage all that money he will be making.

He seemed to be understanding somewhat by this point.

He was told he needed to apologize to Janet and mom.

I left a note on the door upstairs today that said:

LIFE LESSONS

1) Don't be a dick.

2) Apologize when you need to.

3) Don't act in a manner that makes an apology necessary in the first place.

Love, dad.

We also talked about some other things.

That granny has managed to overcome a lot more than her contemporaries given what she went through at such a young age and still managed to have what by all accounts is a good life.

That grandpa managed to have a good life as well, lived all over the world, overcome what he went through as well.

Successful military and civilian careers.

That grandpa Chuck over came is dads alcoholism.

That I was still dealing with the fall out of my parents divorce and probably always would be but still, many people envy me and the life I lead.

No honey do list, (for now anyway lol) ride, hammock, ride etc.

My point was, everybody dealt with or overcame their issues as best they could without all the help he is getting and that it was my belief that he would be able to overcome his as well.

Period.

End of story.

I really don't care about a bolo tie or biker boot straps.

Whatever you would like to see me in Dollbaby :-).