What else...

 

I get down sometimes and I think "I can't do this anymore, it's worn on me, it's not worth it, it can't be...we should be together already..." and then Nicholas will come a be-boppin in the room and spout off some lil interesting tid-bit about "Rosie" such as she is "so feisty" and I'm like "Who you kiddin'? You doubled down on this a long time ago..."

 

That and James telling me at Christmas time "You're not going to be happy unless she rides..." and "Dude, you're gonna be so much happier with her..." I'm like, "Now just who the hell else could he be talking about?" Some days those words just echo through my mind when it finds a clear moment...

 

I also think about the look on the guys faces when I told them about just being gone one day, just be up and the fuck out of here and gone to "Tennessee or wherever." I think that's what I said. I think it was Adam and Carlos and James in the room. Carlos is James partner. Nobody, not one of them had any sort of startled or astonished look on their face, nobody asked why Tenn...nothing...They just looked at me like it was just a given and they already knew...You play your games your way, I play mine my way...I got ways of figuring out what I need to know Lucy...Later I posted the meme on FB about "Sometimes life is about risking it all to pursue a dream no one else can see but you." Carlos liked it. It's obvious James has told Carlos what's up. I know what it's like to sit 12 hours at at time in this room with your partner. You share things you don't share with other people, just the way it works.

 

I also remember Carlos coming in one day and I was talking to James about heading to your moms or where ever and Carlos was like "Did you ever friend her on FB? I just smiled. "No, I specifically told her I did not ever want to be friends with her on FB actually. Who ever she knew before me was before me and it just needs to stay that way." "Man these women today, they expect you to want to friend them on FB." "Well I'm old school and I don't like it, get to know everything about somebody there is to know and do it electronically not even in their presence and it takes all of about 10 minutes, no thanks, not the route I'm gonna go. I'll do things my way." "Don't you wanna bang her? (Classy right? lol). "Outside the confines of a committed relationship? Preferably marriage? No...No Carlos I don't." I might as well had turned into the incredible hulk or something the way he looked at me. Don't take it wrong, Carlos is a good guy, just young, different generation...probably gonna wonder why things didn't last someday...hopefully he will figure it out.

 

Funny when Nicholas said that about "Rosie" being feisty...I said "Is she feisty a lot? Not just a lil bit?"...He didn't know where I was coming from lol...He was just like "Oh, Yeah...a lot. I'm scared she will rip me to shreds if I piss her off too much." Keep it like that between you two. He can be your friend, your lil kid brother but he always needs to respect you and your wishes. Judging by how things are going I really don't see many issues other than getting acclimated to all of us living under the same roof and sorting out household responsibilities. I Told Nich "Well I know somebody like that, (feisty) I like it, you always know where you stand, easier that way...people like that tend to respect you more if you can give it right back to them. They look at you like 'Wat a wimp' if you can't dish it right back at 'em..." He agreed. He is so ready to get up out of Hancock County. Myself as well. 

 

He loves you.

It's obvious.

You are being given a chance to make a major impact in a young man's life.

You get to be a big sister and a step-mom all at the same time.

 

Not to mention being my lil Bitch lol.

 

What else could a girl possibly want Lucy?