I mean...

you just can't give a boy anything can you?

I mean nothing.

 

I'm tired.

Been fighting illness.

Reminds me of how I used to be all the time.

Makes me wonder if I will ever get back to feeling good again.

Ever.

That's the kind of shit I deal with in my head Lucy.

That and raising a 15 year old boy that challenges me intellectually when all I want to do is rest sometimes.

Then fights me about doing work around the home.

I've had enough.

I just wanna sleep for days.

 

Going on two years now I been telling people: "Oh we're close, she is coming around..."

No wonder they look at me like I am insane.

 

Just tell me to fuck off and go away so I at least know I did everything I could have done.

 

Cause this shit?

It's killing me...

Literally, the stress of not knowing is not helping me recover from the most ill I have been in 4 years.

 

I just wanna sleep.

But when I get home?

I can't even do that.

 

I love you with every bit of my heart and soul I do, you know it's true.

But this shit has drug on for far to long.

 

Just want an address.

Wanna know what Nich, mom, Janet, James and others already seem to know.

 

But right now?

I ain't feelin' so hot and I am

tired of being frustrated.