I

just wish people understood this is not really a choice.

It was in the beginning sure, that was a choice.

But something happened on the way back from Cookeville, when that smile crossed my face and I had that feeling like, "Yeah, sure, that's gonna stop me." 

That wasn't from me.

To everybody who thinks bad of me for leaving?

I wish they could have seen what I have endured (you too, I know Lucy).

I wish they could have seen me on my knees crying out, screaming, begging for answers when the package came back, then literally minutes later, after hearing that lil voice that tells us what we should do, going "What? Keep on? Are you fucking serious?" (He was) and then here comes that lil smirk of a grin back and I was content, cause I knew what big man wanted me to do.

People don't see that, they ignore it if you try and tell them or explain it to them.

There is no explaining needs to be done.

Listen.

Do what the man says.

Watch the blessings flow.

Period.

End of story.

I just wish they understood.

Love you Virgie.