"So

 whatcha been up to these days Drew?"

"Oh not much 

just rewriting 

the foremost book on Biblical Demonology

in the 20th  century, 

You?"

(Thats was a hypothetical conversation, 

the one that follows actually happened yesterday.)

After having trouble with a debit card at the local gas station/eatery:

"Why do things have to be so difficult these days?"

Middle aged Clerk: "It's the aliens."

"You do know its theoretically impossible for them to exist right?

(Blank stare)

"Do you know why its theoreticaly impossible for them to exist?"

(Already knew she didnt know)

"Because the universe is expanding at such a rate 

that they would have to violate the laws of physics in order to get here."

(Young girl in the kitchen looks over.)

"Almost like a creator wanted us to figure that out someday or something.

Have a good day."